Losing It
by ryanforever
Summary: This is AU. Ryan and Marissa are seniors at college and have never met. Ryan's background is pretty much as per the show. Marissa's background you'll need to read chapter 2 to find out. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Losing it

She rushed around trying to get ready knowing that she was going to be late. There was no way that she could get there on time. She wondered again why she had agreed to this. She had promised herself that this year would be different. She would be the one in control …. It was one of her New Year's resolutions … supposedly one of the easy ones. And how long had it lasted? Not even 3 weeks. How would she ever manage to pull off the others?

But she'd really had no other choice she reasoned.

She hadn't known when she'd made that resolution that Molly's mother would be diagnosed with breast cancer. And here she was trying to get to her roommates part-time job so that she could cover for her because Molly had jumped on a plane and flown home to be with her mother. Molly was desperate not to lose the job that she needed to make ends meet while she finished her final year of college. So Marissa had, without a second thought, volunteered to cover for her until she got back.

But she still had her own part-time job at the library to fulfil as well. Plus lectures were just hotting up and the assignments were building up thick and fast. There were so many things that she should have been doing tonight rather than covering the desk at the off campus gym where Molly worked but … Marissa had promised.

She quickly grabbed a granola bar and an apple as she rushed out the door knowing that she would have no other chance to eat tonight and hurriedly made her way down the stairs to her waiting car.

She covered the few blocks in record time and quickly made her way into the gym. She felt awkward and self conscious wearing Molly's uniform. As far as Marissa was concerned the shorts were way too short. The top was way too small. Too tight …. too skimpy, she thought as she tried again to pull it down to meet the waist band of the gym shorts which were skin tight and left nothing to the imagination, only to have the top spring back up revealing a not so small strip of bare mid drift. There was nothing that she could do. Molly may have been quite happy wearing the outfit. But then she was an athlete and competitive swimmer who was used to people seeing her dressed like this. But for Marissa nothing could have been further from the truth. Sure she may have looked okay … but she had long ago come to terms with the fact that she was gangly and uncoordinated. When she'd gone through her growth spurt in her early teenage years everyone had told her that she would eventually grow in to her body. But here she was only a few months off turning 21 and the awkwardness was as bad as ever. That was part of why she avoided gyms and anything to do with sport at all costs. They only made her lack of coordination more obvious and made her feel worse. Whereas Molly was all tanned, lithe and supple – the ultimate guy's fantasy. Marissa felt that, when compared to her friend, she came across as the ultimate ugly duckling.

She quickly made her way behind the reception desk apologizing profusely for her tardiness to Kate, the day girl that she had to take over from. Molly had told Marissa that she would be able to spend most of her time sitting behind the desk so that no one would actually get to see much of what she was wearing anyway. That was the only reason that she had eventually agreed to wear the uniform. Well … that … and the fact that Molly told her that it was a part of the job. Marissa couldn't understand why she couldn't have just worn the practical shirt and skirt that she wore to the library. But Molly had indicated that the owners of the gym wanted the clients to feel 'comfortable' while they were there and since the clients would be wearing gym clothes, then so should the staff. Plus it didn't hurt that all of the staff there were attractive and were the perfect advertisement for a beautiful body. Marissa had tried to argue with Molly that while it made sense for Molly to wear the uniform as she would attract customers that Marissa would only send them running … which of course Molly had informed her was totally untrue. Molly had tried and tried over the last 3 years to get Marissa to accept just how attractive she was but still with little success. Molly knew all about Marissa's past and she knew just why it was that Marissa had so little confidence in her appearance and that was part of the reason why she had pushed Marissa with the rest of Marissa's resolutions for the year.

Marissa just hoped that she would be able to sit behind the desk for the night and that no one would actually get to see her legs. She knew that they were long. Disproportionately long for the rest of her body and that was why she tried to keep them covered whenever she could. If only she could keep them tucked behind the counter for the night then hopefully she would get through this without too much embarrassment. She only had to get the members to swipe their membership cards, give them a towel and make appointments for one on ones with the personal trainers … surely that couldn't be too hard. And since Molly only worked Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings then once this was over she would only have to manage two more before her friend would be back next weekend.

----

Time was passing surprisingly quickly. There had been a steady stream of people through the door and as hoped … Marissa hadn't needed to leave the safe haven of the reception desk at all. She'd just had a call from Steve, one of the personal trainers, wanting a printout of his appointments for tomorrow and she was waiting for the list to spit out of the printer behind her when she heard a beep from the printer indicating that it was out of paper.

Just her luck she thought as she looked around trying to find where the extra paper was stored, finally locating it in a cupboard at the end of the counter. She tore the outer wrapping from it and turned to the printer to try to work out just how and where the paper went in. Of course nothing seemed to work. The drawer on the printer that she had managed to open already had paper in it. So obviously that wasn't the tray that it was trying to use and the only other drawer that she could see she couldn't manage to get to open. Before she got too carried away she decided that she'd better turn the power off and as there was no switch visible on the front, she bent over the back of the printer trying to find the on/off switch unaware that two guys had just walked through the doors behind her.

---

Ryan quietly followed Luke through the doors of the private gym thankful once again for the fact that the Cohen's had bought him a membership to it as a Chrismukkah present. It was so much better than the one on campus. The campus gym was always overcrowded and had old outdated equipment. Not that Ryan had complained while using it the first 3 years of college. If Luke hadn't mentioned it to the Cohen's then he would have still been using it. He was still thankful for every little thing that they did for him. It wasn't that long ago that gym equipment to him had been whatever he could find in the vacant lot in Chino. You couldn't actually call it a park. More a few pieces of playground equipment that had been put there by some politician probably just before an election hoping to get a few extra votes but that was now rusted beyond recognition. He knew that he could make do with almost anything but that didn't mean that he couldn't appreciate having the use of somewhere like this. The equipment was first rate, the towels were supplied and there was plenty of hot water if you wanted to shower at the end of a session. He smiled as he followed his friend in the door expecting to see Molly behind the counter and waiting to hear Luke's newest feeble attempt to get the lovely Molly to go out with him. Ryan was sure that the only reason that Luke was so keen to even come to the gym was because of the young lady that greeted them each time they came. But the sight he was confronted with was definitely not Molly who was tanned, athletic and compact. There was a small tight ass leaning over the printer behind the counter and it was being held up by legs that went … forever. Ryan gulped as he tried to swallow his Adam's apple that seemed to have swollen up and stuck in his throat. As he studied the legs he felt stirrings in other parts of his body telling him that very shortly there would be swelling happening there as well. His momentary day dream was interrupted by his friend's crass comment.

"Give me a piece of that ass!" Luke said breathlessly stopping dead suddenly just inside the door so that Ryan, in his own distracted state, ran right in to the back of him. They looked like something from an old Laurel and Hardy movie.

Marissa quickly turned around blushing violently at the comment. She knew that she should say something to put the guy in his place but a) she knew she couldn't afford to upset the customers and b) she wasn't really sure just which one of the two had said it. There were two blond guys in front of her; one taller and bulkier than the other. But they were both very good looking and obviously used to getting whatever they wanted from the opposite sex. She desperately wanted to say something and put whoever had spoken in his place as she was mortified by the guy's comment but she couldn't seem to find the words or the gumption to reply. Plus, in reality, when confronted by guys like this, she was far too timid to say anything.

Luke made his way to the counter to sign in and instantly decided to try his luck. "And who are you my little lovely?"

Marissa glared at him as she recognised the voice from the earlier comment. She may not have been able to say what she was thinking but that didn't stop her from feeling it. Guys like this were the exact reason why she had dreaded covering for her friend. He reminded her of everything that she hated from high school. Good looking jocks who thought they owned the world. They were the exact reason why she'd gotten a job in the library this year. If she was ever going to pull off her major New Year resolution then she needed a geek from the library to make it happen. There was no way that she would have anything to do with any body like the good looking guy in front of her. He was the epitome of everything that she hated and the cause of her even being in the situation that she was in. Marissa tried to think of how to address him without giving him any details about her self. "I'm covering for Molly." she explained simply.

"Ah. The lovely Molly." Luke replied. "I can't say that I don't miss her but I'm sure that you could fill her position admirably. And lots of positions come to mind ..." He leered at her.

Marissa was mortified. She had no idea what to say but thankfully she was saved by the slightly shorter guy that was with this Neanderthal.

"Luke. Just shut up and leave her alone." Ryan said as he moved his friend to one side so that he could swipe his card in the reader. "I apologise on behalf of my friend. I assure you that his bark is worse than his bite. He's full of hot air." Ryan explained and Marissa couldn't help but smile shyly as the Neanderthal looked crestfallen.

"How can you say that?" Luke asked.

"Because it's true." Ryan replied. "Why don't you just swipe your card, get your towel and leave the poor girl alone." Ryan suggested. He could sense that the young lady was feeling very uncomfortable thanks to Luke's comments and for some reason he wanted to make her feel more at ease.

Luke pouted and Marissa could see just who the brain behind this team was. She wanted to say thank you but as she turned her attention to the smaller guy their eyes met and she felt like time had stood still. His eyes were the bluest things that she had ever seen and she lost herself in them completely. Fortunately Luke took Ryan's advice and did as he was told. He picked up a towel from the counter while Marissa still stood fixated on the guy before her.

Similarly Ryan was enchanted by this young woman but he knew that after Luke's performance the last thing that she would need would be for Ryan to try to pick her up. He would be labelled with the same brush as his friend. And from her mortified reaction to Luke, he didn't like his chances of getting to even first base with her.

Luke moved towards the door of the gym and called after Ryan. "You coming?"

Ryan was startled out of his 'moment' with Marissa and smiled embarrassedly. "Yeah." He replied and went to move to follow Luke but he hesitated. For some reason he didn't want this to be the last he saw of this girl and he turned back to her and asked. "Will you be here on Wednesday?"

Marissa gulped audibly. She knew that he was waiting for an answer but it seemed her brain had ceased to be able to form words.

Ryan was still waiting for an answer but her brain seemed to have stopped functioning. Finally she managed to get some words out but she just repeated the words that she'd spoken to Luke. "I'm covering for Molly …"

Ryan looked at her puzzled. He wasn't sure what that meant?

"Come on man? Stop trying to tune the chic. If she's not in to me you can't think that she'd be in to you?" Luke taunted. The competition between the two guys for the hot chic at any given party had become a game to them ever since they'd been at college together.

Ryan looked again at Marissa and then took off after Luke. He still wasn't sure what she meant by her reply? He guessed that she meant that if Molly wasn't there then she would be. He glanced back again and felt bad for a moment. He liked Molly …. But suddenly he hoped that what ever was keeping Molly away from her job tonight might somehow continue. All he knew for sure was that he wanted to see the young lady again.

---

Marissa couldn't believe how the appearance of the two guys had turned her evening upside down. Things had been going so well up to then. She'd been doing her job and managing to catch up on some revision at the same time but since their arrival she hadn't been able to think of anything but the blue blue eyes that seemed to have looked into the depths of her soul. She wished that the gym wasn't so hi tech. Then it may have had an old sign in system and at least then she could have found out his name. She wondered who he was? She guessed that they were both students. But then that meant that they were rich students otherwise they wouldn't have been members of this gym. Which of course fitted with the comments that they made? No doubt they were living off daddy's money. Probably didn't even care whether they passed or not; just filling in time until they could collect their inheritance. She kept trying to remind herself that he was everything that she abhorred. Spoilt, rich, good looking kids, that thought they owned the world and everyone in it. She would be well placed if she never saw him again. She just needed to keep telling herself that and then maybe she would eventually believe it because … no matter how often she said it … she couldn't help but be disappointed in the thought.

He was a perfect example of the guy that she didn't want … so why couldn't she get him out of her mind?

---

Ryan was having his own problems. As he proceeded with his work out he found for the first time that it wasn't having the same effect. Usually the physical effort involved in his workout managed to clear his mind of everything else so that by the end of it he was physically exhausted but mentally relaxed. But no matter how hard he pushed himself a pair of endlessly long legs and bluey green eyes were constantly running through his head. He had no idea why?

Sure she was attractive but then so were a lot of the girls at college. And he should know … he'd dated quite a few of them. But he'd never seen her before. Maybe that was the reason that she had him so intrigued. Because he hadn't seen her before and after 3 years at college he thought that he'd managed to scope out the best of the best at Berkeley. Between he and Luke there weren't too many good ones that had escaped their attention.

But something about her was different. He couldn't quite put his finger on it.

But he would. He decided to make it his mission to discover just what it was that made her different from all the others. But he could tell that he was going to have to take it slowly. Luke's comments had only made his mission that much more difficult because no doubt she'd already decided that they were just out for a good time. But he wasn't like that.

Well maybe he was he admitted to him self.

He and Luke had made a pact at New Year that they weren't going to get tied up in girl drama this semester. They'd both had more than enough of that in the last few years. Ryan had been involved with a drama queen at high school that hadn't ended well and then he found some sexual chemistry with a new divorcee but that had eventually worn itself out. There are only so many positions you can do it in before you start to realise that you need more than just the sex to have something that will last. It was all still quite a mystery to him. Just what did make it work? Sandy and Kirsten seemed to have found the recipe but he was still quite a way off. And Luke hadn't faired much better. They both had only 1 semester to go and they intended to enjoy themselves and that included the delights of the female body. But some how or other, ever since he'd entered the gym that evening, the only body he was interested in was one that was held up by never ending legs.


	2. Chapter 2

Tuesday evening Marissa was sitting at her desk trying to finish off an assignment that was due on Friday when her phone rang. Glancing at the caller ID, she smiled and then quickly answered. "Hi. How are things going?"

Molly's voice greeted her. "Not so good. They've scheduled a mastectomy for tomorrow and then after she recovers from that she will need a course of Chemotherapy." Molly explained. "We're just trying to stay positive at the moment. She's going to beat this thing."

"I'm sure she will. With you on her side it's a certainty." Marissa replied. She knew that trying to stay positive was about all that they could do right now.

"Thanks. I'm really happy that I can be here for Mom right now." Molly explained. "But I just wanted to touch base and see how things went at work last night?"

"Good." Marissa replied simply, not wanting to elaborate. She had spent too much of today already thinking back to her evening at the gym and more importantly a pair of blue eyes that she couldn't get out of her mind.

"Good? That's it?" Molly asked.

"Yep." Marissa replied.

"There must be more to it than that? Did you use the opportunity to scope out potential candidates?" Molly asked.

The silence at the other end of the line had her instantly intrigued.

"Come on? Fess up. I'm sure there was someone that passed through that would be able to do the job?" Molly teased.

"Don't talk like that." Marissa replied. "It's not like that." she insisted.

"Yes it is." Molly replied jokingly. She was trying to lighten the mood. The reason that Marissa was even in this situation was because she took everything much too seriously. If she could just loosen up a bit then Molly was sure that she'd have the guys flocking around her.

"I don't want it to seem like that." Marissa explained. "That sounds so …."

"Flippant? Crass?" Molly suggested but Marissa didn't reply so she added. "Well it is a little, I guess." She admitted. "But isn't that all you want? You only have a few weeks until your 21st?"

"Don't you think that I know that?" Marissa replied.

"Well? … If you are going to lose that cherry before then, all you need is some guy to pluck it." She said stating the obvious. "It's not like you have enough time to form a relationship with him before hand. Anyhow, remember how well it went when you tried that last time?" Molly teased.

Marissa gulped and then said. "You don't have to remind me." She did indeed remember. She didn't think that she would ever forget the embarrassment.

"So you just have to promise me that you'll at least keep a look out?" Molly asked.

"I really don't think that a gym is the place to find someone. I'm keeping a look out at the library." Marissa assured her.

"The library? What? You check out the guys that are taking out the Karma Sutra and ask if they want someone to practice on? Come on Marissa. You need to get serious about this otherwise I swear I am going to give you a male hooker as a birthday present." Molly threatened.

"Don't tempt me. That may be my last resort." Marissa assured her. She couldn't help but smile at Molly's suggestion or maybe it was more of a threat. She knew her friend only wanted to help.

"So there was NO one that even tweaked your interest last night?" Molly asked.

Again her question was met by a deathly silence that Molly was sure meant something. She just didn't know what.

"Some guy Luke was looking for you." Marissa stated flatly trying to change the subject.

"Ha. Luke Ward?" Molly laughed. "I'm sure that he'd do it for you." She assured Marissa. "Although … maybe not. I think that he and Ryan probably go for the more experienced type. But hey … you could always ask?"

"Is Ryan the guy that was with him?" Marissa asked, trying to sound as if she was just making polite conversation and wasn't waiting with baited breath for the answer.

"Probably." She answered. "Blonde, blue eyes. Body that could keep you awake all night … or fill your dreams … one of the two?" Molly asked with a chuckle. "They usually come in together." She explained.

Marissa could feel her heart race at her friend's description. She thought the answer was definitely … BOTH. The thought of him had kept her awake last night AND filled her dreams when she had finally fallen asleep. "That sounds like him." She replied not wanting to sound interested but obviously failing.

"Oh girl! Let's not get too carried away here. If you're after Ryan you are going to have to wait in line. So is just about every unattached female on campus. Only someone as sheltered as you wouldn't already have come up on his radar. But the guy's a player Marissa. Not your sort at all. I thought that you were hoping to find another virgin?" Molly asked, knowing that Ryan definitely didn't fit into that category. She was happy to support Marissa in her quest to lose her virginity. After everything that she'd been through in the last couple of years there was no doubt that if that's what she wanted then that's what she deserved. But she didn't want it to end badly. And even though Molly liked Ryan she was scared that he would end up making Marissa's tenuous self confidence even worse; that he would intimidate her solely on the weight of his own experience.

"I'm not sure that there is another virgin over the age of twenty on this planet." Marissa said dejectedly.

"Maybe you could add the question to the library registration form?" Molly teased.

"Maybe I will." Marissa taunted back. "But have you finished giving me a hard time yet? I have an assignment to finish off that you're keeping me from." Marissa informed Molly, making her know that she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"This is nothing compared to the 'hard' time that SOME guy is going to be giving you in the next couple of weeks." Molly teased. "But I'll leave you to your assignment. Have fun tomorrow evening but I'd steer clear of Luke and Ryan." She warned.

Marissa hung up but continued looking at the phone. Easier said than done; how was she going to get him out of her mind?

She thought back to the problem at hand.

She wanted to lose her virginity.

As Molly said … she took everything too seriously. She just wanted to lighten up and be 'normal'; something that seemed to have passed her by somehow. Here she was studying Creative Writing and American Literature and the only romance that she'd ever experienced had been in the pages of books. Even one of her lecturers had commented on a recent assignment that her romantic figures were "wooden" and that she needed to get more life in them. It had been the final straw in convincing her that the time had come.

She knew that she wasn't frigid even though it had been suggested to her on a couple of occasions. And the dreams that she'd had about Ryan last night had definitely confirmed that.

How had she ended up in this position she wondered?

But she had a fairly good idea.

It started back in senior year of high school. She had been going out with the same guy since junior high. Kurt Schmidt. It had been a shock at first that a boy was even interested in her. She was very conscious of the fact that she went through puberty early and she was taller and more developed than almost everyone in her year, boys included … except Kurt. So obviously it must have been a match made in heaven she'd thought at the time. However, as the years of high school passed it became obvious to her that they had very few interests in common. But … they lived in a small mid western town and their parents had become close friends … so it was easier to just go along with it. As she became more and more of a book worm immersing her self in literature of all sorts, Kurt became the school jock and football hero just as his older brother Clay had done three years earlier. By senior year, it was obvious to her, that they had no future together but since the year was almost over she decided that to save any unpleasantness, she would just stay with him until she went off to college. She had already decided that she was going to go to Berkeley and he was heading off to the East Coast on a football scholarship so she wouldn't need to see him again. She just needed to get through to graduation. Then her parents had planned a road trip to San Francisco over the summer to help get her settled in. She was sure that she'd made the right decision by not actually breaking up with him and causing problems between their families.

It happened one Friday night. Kurt was playing football in a nearby town and had asked her to go and watch him but she had declined. They weren't actually fighting but they weren't getting along too well either. Kurt had been pressuring her to go all the way recently and she knew that she wasn't ready. She didn't think that she ever would be … with him. There had been some awful comments thrown around, with him threaten to find his 'kicks' elsewhere and Marissa telling him to go right ahead. But he'd backed down and asked her to meet him after the game so that they could talk.

She'd reluctantly agreed. But she didn't want to meet him at the diner where all the team congregated after a game. They would have no chance to talk privately there and so she consented to meeting him at his house. His parents had gone away for the weekend and the only person there would be Clay who wouldn't bother them. They agreed to meet at 9:30pm and she still remembered that she'd decided whilst walking the couple of blocks to his house that night that she wished she had it in her to finish it off once and for all. She didn't know if she could keep going through with this charade for another few weeks just to keep the peace. She walked up to the house and knocked on the door expecting Kurt to answer and was surprised when Clay opened the door. He informed her that Kurt wasn't home yet but that she should come in and wait. It was obvious that he had been drinking but she didn't see how she could refuse? She'd known him most of her life so she kept telling herself that she had no reason to be afraid of him. Plus Kurt would be there any minute. So she went inside and sat down in front of the TV.

Clay had offered her a beer and settled down beside her. Marissa declined and tried to move further away. She remembered wondering did he know nothing about 'personal space' because he was definitely invading hers. But he just moved closer again. She could see from the empty bottles that he'd obviously consumed quite a few beers already and she guessed that they must have clouded his good judgement because he was making her feel very uncomfortable. Clay suggested that they watch some porn together to get her in the mood for her rendezvous with Kurt and Marissa was horrified. She decided she couldn't stay there with him any longer but as she went to stand up to leave, Clay grabbed her and pushed her down on to the couch. Marissa had tried to push him off but Clay had laughed at her feeble attempts. He was so much bigger … so much stronger. He just kept telling her to stay still. That it would all be over quickly.

At his words she had fought even harder but he had just pinned her with his weight. Taunting her. Telling her that he knew what she and Kurt intended to do that evening because Kurt had borrowed condoms from him before he went to the football game. Clay told her that he'd been amazed that she had kept Kurt waiting so long but that since she had, that he thought that it would be only fair if she knew what she was doing when they finally got together. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to 'please' his little brother. He suggested that, after all this time it was the least she could do.

No matter how hard she had tried to resist, Clay assured her that she was just confirming what he had told Kurt earlier that day … that girls like her liked a man to take charge and that roughing her up a bit would just turn her on more. She was screaming that Kurt would be there any minute and then Clay informed her that Kurt had rung to say that the bus had broken down on the way back from the game and that it looked like he would be quite some time before he got home. Clay suggested that by then Kurt would be able to join in with the fun and she could find out for her self that brothers really do share.

By this time Clay was pawing her. He'd ripped the buttons from her blouse and had pinned her shoulder down with his left elbow while his left hand was inside her bra kneading her breast as his right hand was trying to force its way between her legs. Marissa could feel his rock hard dick pressing into her leg and she was panic stricken. His fingers were hurting her as they pushed into the muscles of her upper thighs forcing them apart and as she felt the cotton of her panties rip and his fingers push their way into her she summoned up one last bit of strength and managed to move just far enough to reach over and grab one of the empty beer bottles from the table and she brought it down on Clay's head.

He was momentarily stunned and moved his hand from between her legs to feel the back of his head looking for blood. It gave her just enough time while he was distracted for Marissa to take the opportunity and push him off and run for the door. She heard him coming after her but she just ran and ran and ran knowing that he was in no fit state to follow.

When she'd gotten home she had slipped in through the back door and crept in to her room. She considered telling her parents but decided against it. Her parents had been fighting a lot lately and she didn't want to give them one more reason to fight. Plus she knew that her mother would probably think that Marissa had asked for it. She'd tried to get Marissa to go on the pill a year ago because she had said that a guy like Kurt could only wait so long and that Marissa would need to 'look after him' or he'd find his pleasures elsewhere. Julie would probably say that Marissa was a prick tease and her father would stand up for Marissa and then her parents would start fighting again. She didn't want them using her as an excuse to fight.

Looking back now she realised that she shouldn't have worried. Her parents had only stayed together for a few months after she'd left for college. It seemed that she had been the only thing keeping them together. As it turned out, her mother had been having an affair with Kurt's father and when the truth came out the two families totally self destructed. Her mother now lived with Kurt's dad and Kurt and Clay lived with them. Marissa refused to go anywhere near them and hadn't ever returned to her home town preferring to spend her vacations with her father who had moved and now lived in LA.

So that night, after Clay's attack, Marissa had quickly taken off her clothes, thrown them in the bin and hopped into the shower. Even though technically nothing had happened she still felt dirty. He'd had his hands all over her. His attack was horrible but Kurt's betrayal was almost as bad. She still couldn't believe that he had borrowed condoms from Clay just that day. Here she was thinking that the reason that he wanted to talk was because he had finally accepted that she wasn't ready to sleep with him and that he was prepared to wait. But it appeared that he had thought exactly the opposite. Either he had intended to force himself on her or, he intended to find his pleasures elsewhere and needed them to use on some other girl – either way she knew that she never wanted to see him or his brother again.

She had spent the last few weeks of her senior year as a virtual recluse even feigning illness to avoid going to her senior Prom. She just wanted the year over and done with … as soon as possible.

But looking back she realised that things really hadn't improved much since then.

Settling in at college and meeting up with Molly had been great. They had hit it off from the first time they met. They were both very different but their differences seemed to serve to complement one another and over the last 3 years they had gotten closer and closer. Molly was the sister that Marissa had always wanted and no one on this earth knew the real Marissa as Molly did. Molly was like her older sister even though she was actually younger by a few months. But she seemed to have a far greater wealth of life experience than Marissa; experience that she was always trying to impart to her more naïve friend.

Marissa had spent the first few months at college conscientiously attending to her studies. She had no social life, preferring to spend her spare time with her head immersed in books. Molly had worked and worked at wearing her friend down until Marissa had finally relented and agreed to attend a few parties with Molly and her friends. Given Molly's passion for anything outdoors and active, most of her friends had similar interests. They were the jocks of the campus, the members of the cycling club, the swimming club and the running club where Molly trained for the triathlons that she loved and of course the other workers from the Gym where she worked. Marissa had found that they were all very friendly. The guys in particular were VERY friendly. Marissa tried and tried to fit in with them all … but she very quickly got sick of guys coming on to her at parties. Guys that seemed to think that by fetching her a drink and dancing with her, it meant that they could have free access to her body. She'd gotten fed up with ending her evening's by having to fight off guys hands that seemed to want to rove all over her. She'd assured Molly that she was certain that the male of the species was somehow closely related to the octopus.

She'd spent a few more lonely months sticking to her dorm until she'd gotten a particularly scathing comment from a lecturer about a piece of writing that she'd done. It seemed that he thought that she didn't know how to express a couple in love, added to that Molly's incessant pressure that she needed to get out there and experience life and Marissa had finally caved. But this time, no jocks. She decided that she needed a totally different type of guy. So after much consideration she decided to join the drama club. At least she would have something in common with these people. She had no interest in acting, the thought of putting her self on display abhorrent. But she volunteered to be a production assistant, knowing that she would enjoy being part of watching a production come to life.

Only a week after joining the club she'd caught the eye of the male lead Spencer Wyatt and they'd become a bit of an item. Spencer was certainly experienced and he was used to 'having sex regularly' as he'd told Marissa. And certainly he tried often enough to get into her pants. But still Marissa held out. As they spent more and more time together she finally trusted him enough to confide in him the fact that it he shouldn't take it personally. That she'd never slept with anyone. He was shocked but said that he would wait until she was ready. And so their relationship continued. Spencer trying to rid her of her virgin status at every opportunity and Marissa resisting but being made to feel more and more guilty on every occasion that she was somehow scarring him for life. His sexual frustration had turned to harsh words on a few occasions and Marissa knew that she couldn't expect a guy like Spencer to wait forever and so she had finally decided one Saturday that it would be the night. They had plans to go to a party that evening and when Spencer had called to organise collecting her she'd told him of her decision and that she'd decided that the time was right. He'd been delighted and suggested that they blow the party off all together and just spend the night in bed instead but Marissa knew that she wasn't ready for that. Plus she thought that she would need a few drinks under her belt to be able to finally go through with it.

When they'd reached the party all Marissa could think about was what was to happen at the end of the evening. Spencer was hanging off her the entire time not giving her the space to breathe and she was finding it claustrophobic. She knew that she was knocking back drinks like they were water but she just wanted to calm her stomach that seemed to have tied itself in knots. Of course it didn't help that Molly had informed her just as she was leaving for the night that she thought that Spencer was a pompous ass and that she wished that Marissa had found someone else.

Spencer kept suggesting that they leave and move on with the rest of their evening and Marissa (usually the first one to want to go home) kept telling him that she was having too good a time and that she wanted to stay. She was desperate to delay the inevitable. She kept drinking solidly and for the first time ever they were the last to leave. She still remembered feeling guilty that he was considerate right to the end. As he had guided an unsteady Marissa to his car he asked her if she wanted to come home with him or if she would be more comfortable at her place?

She had thought about it for only a moment and knew that the answer was neither. The thought of doing it in his pig sty of a room turned her stomach. The sheets probably wouldn't have been washed for a month. But then the thought of doing it in her room was equally as bad. Her room was her haven and she didn't want to sully it. She made a quick decision as he closed the door of the car to join her and she lunged for him telling him that she couldn't wait; that they should do it in the car. Spencer was more than happy to comply and as their mouths met he quickly began to rid Marissa of her clothes. Her shirt and bra went first and he moved his mouth to her nipples, sucking and tweaking them until they were fully aroused. Through her alcohol induced fog Marissa could feel herself responding and wondered if perhaps this wouldn't be as bad as she expected. Spencer stopped for a moment as he rid himself of his shirt and quickly unzipped his jeans and pushed them and his boxers, as one, down to his knees freeing his hard on proudly.

Marissa looked over at it. The light from the near by street light seemingly making it glow and she instantly started to shake her head. She couldn't do this. She knew it. Spencer reached over to start to divest her of her jeans and she pushed him away. "I can't do this." She said.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his breathing ragged.

She was embarrassed. "I just … can't." she explained.

There was a moment of silence and she could sense the anger building inside him. He grabbed her by the back of her neck and pushed her head down onto his lap. "Then suck me off you tease."

Marissa panicked. "I can't." she admitted embarrassedly. "I don't know how."

"Then it's about time you learnt. I'm not going home to look after myself again. Either give me a decent blow job or this is over?" Spencer stated threateningly.

He kept his hand planted firmly on Marissa's head stopping her from sitting back up. Marissa had nothing to go on but books. The whole thought of taking it in her mouth was enough to turn her stomach. Add to that the amount of alcohol she had consumed and it was really no surprise that as she opened her mouth to try to obey his commands, she felt the large chunks rising from her stomach only to leave her mouth in a technicolour explosion soaking him, his clothes and his car in partially digested pizza and several vodka and tonics and other unrecognizable delicacies.

"What the fuck?" Spencer yelled angrily as he took in the mess. "Get out!"

"But …" Marissa said still feeling wretched.

"I said GET OUT!" Spencer repeated.

Marissa quickly picked up her shirt and bra and hadn't even put them back on when Spencer reached across her and opened the car door and pushed her out on to the street. She picked herself up and hastily donned her clothes again as he drove off at speed.

---

As if the actual evening wasn't bad enough, Marissa had turned up to rehearsal the next week only to be greeted by everyone's sniggers and derision. People that she thought were her friends had turned their backs on her and ignored her until Marissa had finally pulled one of them aside and asked what had she done? Only to find out that Spencer had chosen to tell everyone, not only about the fateful evening but also about the fact that Marissa was a "frigid virgin". They all thought that she had behaved terribly by leading him on. Marissa tried to explain but then gave up. They were all Spencer's friends first and foremost plus … after hearing his version of the story they would all no doubt agree with him. She gathered what little self respect she had left and had finished her job for the night and then had explained to the producer that she would not be able to help out anymore, telling her that she needed to spend more time on her academic work. The producer had happily accepted the knowledge, knowing that she needed Spencer far more than she needed Marissa and Marissa had left that night saying good bye to her theatrical career forever.

---

Which all led to another period of time where her weekends were spent in her room; waiting for Molly to return with whoever was the current boy of choice. It wasn't that Molly was easy. But she'd had quite a few different guys over the last 3 years and Marissa would lie awake listening to the noises coming from Molly's room wondering if she would ever be in the position to find out just what it was like.

And that had led her to her major New Year's resolution. It seemed only fitting that by the time she turned 21 that she should at least know what it felt like. Good or bad.

She had decided that maybe the problem was the fact that the guys that she'd gotten even close to sealing the deal with were all very experienced and that she was intimidated by it. If she could just find another virgin then she was sure that she'd be able to go through with it. He'd be as awkward as her. They'd be able to help each other through it. And that's why she'd decided to get a job in the library this year. Because she figured her best chance of finding a virgin at college would be a nerd who spent all their time studying and hadn't had the opportunity to do anything else. But so far she hadn't found anyone that even tweaked her interest. And time was running out. If she didn't want to end up with a male hooker (the very opposite of the sought after virgin and the thought of which made her skin crawl) then she needed to find someone and fast. There was only a few weeks left.

But since last night the only guy that she could imagine doing it with had a pair of soulful ocean blue eyes. And Molly had just warned her off him.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for the feed back. I'm glad that most of you seem to be enjoying this. I just had a few days away and spent some of the time getting the plans for this story pretty well complete in my mind - I just need to find the time now to get the ideas down. I'll try not to take so long next time. Enjoy!_

**Title:** Losing It

**Rating: **PG13

**Beta: **None. All the mistakes are mine!  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie. (Unfortunately.)

**Story: **AU. Marissa and Ryan meet for the first time at college. Ryan's background is pretty much as per the show. Marissa's background you need to read chapter 2 to find out.

**Chapter 3**

Meanwhile, as Marissa sat at her desk trying to stop thinking about her conversation with Molly and the guy with the blue eyes … Ryan and get her mind back on to her assignment, in another apartment, just off campus, an interesting byplay was taking part.

"Tell me again why you aren't coming man?" Luke asked Ryan perplexed.

"Luke!" Ryan exclaimed starting to get frustrated. "It's not like I actually play water polo. Why do you need me to come along to watch anyhow?" Ryan asked.

"Because you always come." Luke replied simply. "And then when the games over, we go and have a few beers with the boys. It's what we always do." Luke added. He looked forward to this every week and he didn't see why it should change. "It won't be the same without you."

Luke's last statement took all the anger out of Ryan and he couldn't help but laugh. "Awww. That's touching. You'll miss me." Ryan teased. "You know, you'd better not say that in front of the guys or they'll think that you have inherited more than your Dad's good looks."

"Shut up." Luke said. Ryan was one of the few people that could rag him about his father's sexual orientation and still have their teeth intact. "You're just jealous because Sarah said she'd come out with me on Friday night." Luke replied.

"I told you I'm not interested in Sarah. She's all yours." Ryan explained.

"Why? What's wrong with her?" Luke asked, suspecting that Ryan had some inside knowledge.

"Nothing." Ryan assured him. "I'm sure she's great. She's just not my type."

"And what exactly is your type? I'd love to know. You seem to have tried out quite a few and yet you still can't settle on any one."

"I promise when I find out, I'll let you know." Ryan said, thinking about a certain young lady and wishing that Luke would just get going and leave him to put his plan in to action.

"Hmmm. I'm not so sure that you will. You'd be too scared that she'd prefer me to you." Luke teased.

"That's it." Ryan agreed facetiously. "I'm quaking in my boots." Ryan replied teasing his friend. "Now … don't you need to get going?"

"Yeah." Luke said looking at his watch. "Are you sure that you don't want to come with?" he asked again, still not prepared to give up easily.

"I'm sure. I've got some things that I have to do." Ryan explained cryptically looking up from his desk where he had spread some books out in front of him hoping that Luke would take the hint. He didn't want to lie to his friend but he also didn't want to tell him what he had planned.

"Don't you dare try to tell me that you have to study?" Luke commented. "You haven't needed to study since you got here and you're still acing all of your courses. I'm the one that's barely scrapping by."

"I've just hit a bit of a problem that I need to sort out." Ryan responded looking up from the books and thinking that it was literally the truth. Normally he didn't have to study. As long as he concentrated in lectures, it seemed that the stuff just stuck in his brain. Ever since he'd started Architecture, it just seemed that it all made sense to him.

But today he hadn't been able to concentrate at all. He'd even sat in a physics class where they were attempting a structural analysis of a single span bridge and somehow or other all his support pylons ended up looking like legs and he knew exactly whose legs they were. If there had ever been any doubt, he knew then, that he needed to do something to get himself out of the funk that she seemed to have him in, otherwise he'd be flunking classes along with Luke.

"Okay." Luke said resignedly. "I guess I'd better get going then. Will you meet us for drinks after the game?" Luke asked, still not happy with this change of routine.

"I'll see how I go." Ryan replied, knowing that he was hoping to be otherwise occupied. "But if I'm not there, start without me."

---

As soon as Luke was out the door, Ryan sprang into action. He quickly changed and grabbed his gym bag and flew out the door. He'd reasoned that as Molly was always there when he and Luke went to the gym on Mondays and Wednesdays, then the mystery girl must have been the normal Tuesday, Thursday girl filling in for her. And that being the case, it seemed that all of a sudden he felt in the need of another workout. He hadn't wanted to tell Luke because …

He wasn't really sure why.

He knew that Luke would say that it was because Ryan didn't want the competition. But that wasn't it. The fact was that he didn't want it to be a competition. That wasn't the way that he felt at all. There was something different about the girl from last night and he just knew that he needed to see her again and work out just what it was. And he didn't want Luke trying to make a game out of it. She intrigued him: after exchanging only a few words. He couldn't remember any girl ever getting to him like this before.

And he needed to find out why. Just what was it about her that made her so special?

---

Ryan covered the distance to the gym in record time but when he was only a few steps from the door he suddenly froze.

What was he going to say to her?

He'd thought of little else but her for the last 24 hours and yet he had no idea what he should do once he saw her again. He knew that she didn't take Luke's come on lines well … so anything like that was out of the question … which was just as well because Ryan didn't have any lines like that. Come to think of it he didn't have many lines at all. Usually girls seemed to come on to him.

But he knew that wasn't likely to happen this time around. Just his luck, that when he had finally found one that he was interested in, she didn't seem to be interested in him.

Although he was sure that for a moment last night … he hesitated, remembering the look that had passed between them and could almost feel his toes tingle. There had been something there.

But maybe it was all in his imagination ….

The only way he would know for sure was to see her again.

He took another tentative step towards the door knowing that he had to enter. The alternative … for him to turn around and go home or to the water polo … wasn't even worth considering.

He wanted to see her.

He still stood outside the door. His thoughts racing trying to come up with something … surely he could think of something to talk to her about other than the weather?

As if by divine intervention it suddenly started to rain lightly and Ryan looked up and smiled. He wasn't exactly a big believer in the power up above but who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth? At this point he'd take help from anywhere. Figuring that this was a sign he laughed to himself and took a deep breath and quickly covered the rest of the distance to the door trusting that something would come to him.

He opened the door and … was instantly disappointed. He tried to look on the bright side. At least he wasn't going to have to worry about what to say … and he'd be able to find out just who his mystery woman was. Sitting behind the desk was Shannon, a girl that he'd known for a while. She lived with Steve, one of the personal trainers and Ryan knew them both from his time at the gym and socially. They had some mutual friends and he occasionally ran in to them at parties.

Shannon smiled. "Ryan Atwood. I don't often see you here on a Tuesday night?" she frowned as she thought back. "In fact I don't think that I've ever seen you here on a Tuesday before. To what do I owe the honour?" she teased.

"Would you believe that I'm out of shape and decided that I needed to do something about it?" Ryan asked.

Shannon stood up from behind the desk and leaned forward resting her arms on top of the counter and starting at the top of his head, ran her eyes over him from top to toe. The messy blonde hair … the piercing blue eyes. … the strong square jaw … the day old scruff … the perfectly proportioned body which had obviously been spending quite a bit of time at the gym from the looks of it because no one could be that perfect without it and shook her head. She smiled. "Definitely not out of shape. And I'm sure that I could get quite a few girls to agree with me." she laughed as she realised how uncomfortable Ryan was under her scrutiny. "Speaking of which … are you still seeing that blonde from Seattle?"

"Laura? No. Turns out we didn't have much in common." Ryan explained with an easy come, easy go attitude.

Shannon laughed. "So another one bites the dust?"

"I guess." Ryan shrugged. "I'll just have to keep looking."

"Exactly what are you looking for? Does such a girl even exist?" She teased knowing Ryan's reputation. He turned them over pretty quickly.

Ryan instantly pictured the golden haired mystery girl from last night. "I think she does."

"You say that with some conviction? Have you already got someone else lined up?" Shannon asked. Her interest was piqued.

"No." He smiled … but it was a knowing smile and only made Shannon even more interested.

Ryan was trying to work out how he could find out more about the girl from last night without sparking Shannon's interest. He didn't want to be too obvious.

"Do you always work on Tuesday evenings?" he asked casually.

"Yeah. I do Tuesday and Thursdays and Molly does Monday, Wednesday and Friday and Mia does the weekends." She explained.

Ryan frowned. He knew Mia because he occasionally came in on the weekends and that definitely wasn't her last night. "Do you know who was here last night?" he asked trying to feign indifference. "It wasn't Molly." He explained.

"It wasn't?" Shannon frowned momentarily and then shrugged. "I have no idea. If she was sick or something then maybe Kate stayed on from earlier in the day?"

Ryan shook his head. "No. I know Kate and it wasn't her either. There must be someone else." He pushed her to think harder.

Shannon frowned trying to think of who it might have been. "I can't think of anyone else." She said and then she looked at Ryan and realised that this wasn't just a casual enquiry she smiled. "Why the interest?"

He tried to shrug noncommittally.

"Did she do something wrong?" Shannon asked.

"No." Ryan said a little panicked. If she was new then the last thing he meant to do was to get her in trouble. He realised that Shannon was paying him much too much attention and so he tried to appear casual and shrugged his shoulders again. "I just hadn't seen her around here before."

"For a minute there I thought your interest may have been more than professional?" Shannon asked watching Ryan carefully for his reaction.

Ryan was sure that if he didn't move quickly that he'd end up giving himself away. "I'd better get inside and start on this workout." He said swiping his membership card and picking up a towel from the counter. "It's not going to do it by itself." He said as he started to move away.

"Are you coming on Saturday night?" Shannon called to him before he disappeared into the weight's room.

Ryan turned at the door. "What's Saturday night?"

"Steve's birthday bash. At our place." She explained.

"I'll see what my social secretary has planned." Ryan commented thinking that Luke already had them lined up to go somewhere else.

Shannon laughed. "You and your social secretary … where is he anyhow?"

"Water polo." Ryan explained.

She nodded. "Well tell him that he's welcome too!"

---

Ryan pushed himself hard. The sweat was running off him but he still couldn't clear his head. He had no idea how he was going to find her again. He would have to come back again tomorrow night just in case Molly was away again. She had said the she covered for Molly so maybe she'd be there again. But if she wasn't … then he had no idea where to turn. He decided to cut his workout short. His muscles were still fatigued from last night and if he was going to come again tomorrow night then he'd have to take it a bit easier or he'd end up straining something. And it wasn't as if he'd actually wanted a work out in the first place. It had only been an excuse to try to see her again.

He contemplated asking Shannon to make some enquires for him about the mystery girl but he knew that it would be obvious then that he had a thing for her. And how could he have a thing for someone that he'd barely said two words to?

But he knew he did.

He couldn't get her out of his mind and so as he prepared to leave he swallowed his pride and went back to the front desk.

"All done?" Shannon asked. "That wasn't long." She remarked.

Ryan was a little embarrassed as he realised that she may very well catch him out. "I'm going for intensity not endurance." He explained hoping that she would believe him.

Shannon frowned but nodded accepting his words with reservation. Something didn't quite ring true? Add to that the fact that Ryan was standing shuffling from one foot to the other obviously uncomfortable and wanting to say something but unsure of how to start and she decided that her suspicions from earlier where correct. He was interested in the mystery woman.

"Um." He started.

Shannon smiled. This would be fun. She'd never known Ryan to behave like this before. Now she wanted to know who the girl was as well.

"Um … what?" Shannon asked innocently.

"I was just … I was just wondering if you have any way of finding out who was working last night?" he finally got out.

"You do like her, don't you?" Shannon asked smiling at his discomfit.

"I barely know her." Ryan explained.

"But you'd like to?" Shannon teased.

"Maybe." Ryan admitted and shrugged. "I don't know … "

Shannon watched him for a moment. Could this really be one of the studs of the campus going all shy over a mystery girl?

But she liked Ryan and she decided to take pity on the poor guy. "Give me a second and I'll call Steve. He was working last night so he might know who it was." She explained. "He worked today but he left a short while ago. I'll try him at home."

Ryan thanked her and waited impatiently while she made the call.

When she'd finished with the call she looked up at him. "Well I can't tell you much. Apparently Molly has the week off because she had to go home for something and she got a friend of hers to cover. It's not much but it's all I can help you with. I'm guessing that she'll be back again tomorrow night." Shannon said.

Ryan took in the information as if it was food to a starving man. He smiled as the realisation set in. She'd be back again tomorrow. Now he just had to get through the next 24 hours. He thanked Shannon and then turned to make his way out the door when she stopped him with her voice.

"Oh yeah. And her name's Marissa." She added.

Ryan's face broke into a huge grin. Marissa … she had a name. He couldn't wait to see her again.


	4. Chapter 4

Time was passing slowly for Marissa. She must have looked at her watch 5 times in the last hour but she still had 2 more hours until she was due at the gym. She wondered if he would even be there tonight. Maybe he only went once a week. It wasn't as if he needed it. From what she could remember his body was perfect.

But then maybe the perfect body was a result of him being a gym junkie. If so then he'd be sure to be there tonight. She hoped so. Not that anything was going to happen but she just wanted to see him again.

She knew that he was way out of her league but that didn't mean that she couldn't admire him from afar. Who knows? She thought to herself. Maybe if she could just rid herself of her little problem and gain a bit of experience of her own then maybe … eventually … she'd be able to get someone like him. Although she had a feeling that there weren't too many like him out there and that he was one of a kind.

Just the thought of it made her dejected. She quickly gathered up her books, knowing that any more study was hopeless. She hadn't been able to concentrate on anything else but blue blue eyes for most of the day. May as well have a shower and wash her hair and get ready for work. Surely it wouldn't hurt to try to look her best.

Or at least as good as she could in the uniform that she had to wear.

---

Ryan was having trouble trying to contain his eagerness. He was supposed to be cool calm and collected. Nothing should faze him. But that wasn't how he felt at all. And to top of it all off he had to try to appear calm otherwise Luke was going to pick up on it. But he couldn't remember being this excited since …. He shook his head. Maybe he'd never been this excited.

But then part of him reasoned that he was going to be disappointed. Surely she couldn't be as good as his dreams had made her out to be. Somehow or other she had taken on the shape of the perfect woman … and he was old enough and wise enough to know that the perfect woman didn't exist.

But from what he could remember, Marissa came awfully close.

Luke was stuffing around trying to delay the inevitable whereas Ryan couldn't get to the gym fast enough.

"Are you ready yet?" Ryan asked for what seemed like the tenth time.

"Hold your horses. What's the rush?" Luke asked. "You've never been this keen to get to the gym before in your life. I'm usually the one pushing you."

Ryan knew that he had to calm down or Luke would know that something was up. "The sooner we get there, the sooner we get home." Ryan explained hoping that the excuse sounded believable. "And I've got some stuff to finish off." He informed Luke hoping that he'd not ask anymore questions.

"All right, all right." Luke said picking up his shoes. "Let's go get it over with. Who knows maybe tonight Molly will finally give in to my charms?"

Ryan just smiled. He couldn't tell Luke that he already knew that Molly was away for the week. Otherwise Luke would want to know how Ryan knew that and Ryan wasn't about to reveal his little visit to the gym last night to Luke. That would lead to too many awkward questions. "What about Sarah?" Ryan asked feigning complete ignorance.

"What about Sarah?" Luke asked nonchalantly.

"You can't still be interested in Molly now that you've finally gotten Sarah to agree to go out with you?" Ryan stated.

Luke frowned. "I'm not following your reasoning." He laughed. "I can't see why I should deny myself the charms of one over the other. Not if they are both interested. I'd hate for either of them to miss out."

Ryan sighed. "You do know that this life of yours will catch up with you one day and you'll be left with no one?" Ryan suggested.

"Hopefully that day is still a long way off and anyhow, I intend to enjoy myself while I wait for it to come. The more the merrier." Luke replied.

Ryan shook his head. It wasn't that long ago that he would have agreed with Luke. But some how … or he suspected it was more likely that SOMEONE … had changed his mind.

Now … he just wanted to spend time with one person.

And it wasn't Luke.

---

Marissa knew that she was fidgeting but she hadn't been able to keep still ever since she'd arrived. She tried to think back to what time they had come in on Monday night? But then she realised that maybe they didn't come at the same time every day. Although when she'd spoken to Molly, she had said that they usually came in on Monday and Wednesday. She tapped her knee on the underside of the desk trying to calm her nerves but nothing seemed to be helping.

Would he say hello? Would he even acknowledge her? Would he just pass on through with barely a nod? Would he stop to talk? And for every possible scenario, she tried to think of what she should do in response. If he did talk to her, she wanted to have something ready to say. She didn't want to come across as an airhead just because she had a brain freeze from looking at him like she'd had on Monday. But what should she say? Definitely not "I'm covering for Molly." She couldn't believe that's all she'd been able to come up with. He probably thought that she was some sort of moron after that comment.

She was sure they were late ... or at least later than Monday.

She had just started to relax, having convinced herself that they weren't coming, when the phone rang and she answered it, pleased to have something to distract her even if it was only for a short time. It was someone enquiring about membership of the gym and wanting details of the facilities available and the costs associated with it and Marissa was trying to outline the programs when Luke and Ryan walked in the door.

---

Ryan had spent a large part of the day (and a lot of the previous night) thinking about how he could approach Marissa without Luke being around. He wanted to have the chance to talk to her privately. The last thing that he wanted was for Marissa to think that he and Luke were alike when it came to the way they treated the opposite sex - even if they had been somewhat alike up until very recently. Like Monday.

He'd decided that he would try to get Luke through the reception area as quickly as possible. The less chance that Luke got to say anything to her, the better. Then Ryan intended to take a 'bathroom break' and head back to talk to her. Alone.

He followed Luke through the door and was surprised by the impact that the sight of her had on him. Especially given that he'd already known that she would be there. She was on the phone and her head was bent slightly forward as she wrote something down and the sight of her was like water to a thirsty man. He wanted to stand and take it all in but he knew that he needed to get Luke to keep moving.

Luke hesitated. "Well … Looks like Molly's stand-in is back again?"

"Leave her alone and just head on through." Ryan instructed him. "She's on the phone."

"I can see that. But I'm sure that she'd enjoy a bit of my attention." Luke teased.

"Luke. Just give it a miss. You've got enough girls on the go right now." Ryan said stating the obvious.

Marissa looked up and her eyes glanced off Luke and went straight to Ryan as she continued to speak to the person on the other end of the phone.

Luke noticed the fact that her glance didn't stay on him for even a moment and yet she was obviously enjoying taking in every detail of Ryan. It was obvious where her preference lay and the last thing that he needed was for her to hang up and make her choice known. Better that he got out of there before it became public knowledge. That way he could still try to bluff his way through with Ryan. The chic tally was definitely weighted on Ryan's side at the moment. Luke needed to chalk up a few more just to catch up. He had no idea what Chino had but whatever it was, it looked like it had just snagged another one. Luke moved on past the girl at reception hesitating for a moment to give her a slight wave with his hand as he collected his towel.

Ryan on the other hand was having trouble even breathing. Once their eyes met, it was all he could do not to stop dead but he knew that he needed to keep Luke moving. He didn't want to give him a chance to upset her. As Luke hesitated, Ryan pushed him gently from behind. "Come on. Leave her alone. She's busy." He stated as he guided Luke before him in to the weight's room.

---

Marissa finally placed the phone back on its cradle. She had no idea what she had actually said to the poor person on the other end. From the moment that she'd looked up into his eyes, time had seemingly stood still.

She couldn't believe the timing. She had been waiting 48 hours to see him again and then she'd had to be on the phone when he'd finally arrived. She berated herself. All the time that she'd spent thinking about him and he'd just walked past with only a momentary glance.

Or was it more than that? Was there a silent message conveyed in that look?

She'd been trying to concentrate on what the caller was asking, so maybe she was imagining it all.

He could have anyone she thought dejectedly. Why would he be even slightly interested in her?

She realised that her leg was shaking again and tapping on the underside of the desk. Even if he wasn't interested, just the knowledge that he was in close proximity was enough to have her on edge.

---

Ryan worked out for about 10 minutes and then as planned, he told Luke that he was taking a bathroom break and headed out the door. But instead of turning right in the hallway and heading for the bathrooms, he turned left and headed back to reception. He could feel his heart starting to race and he knew that it wasn't from the amount of exercise that he'd just done but because of the young lady that he was about to confront.

Marissa glanced up from the text book that she had been attempting to read only to lose her self in the pair of blue eyes that had been on her mind ever since Monday night.

As soon as their eyes met, he smiled. He'd wanted to stare into those eyes again ever since he'd first seen her. He didn't ever think that he'd ever want to stop.

"Hey." He said softly.

She smiled and it lit up her whole face. He felt like he'd been given a precious gift.

"Hey to you too." She replied and waited for what was to come. She could feel her heart racing harder than if she'd been working out herself and she was scared that he'd be able to hear it pounding in her chest.

"Um. I was wondering what time you finish up here?" Ryan asked shuffling slightly from side to side with nervousness.

"Um. About 10." Marissa replied. She wondered if he just wanted to know the hours of the gym or was he specifically asking about her hours.

Ryan considered her answer, thinking that he'd have enough time to drop Luke off at home and come back. "If I come back then, do you think that I could take you out for a coffee or something?" he asked, trying with all his might to appear casual.

Marissa felt herself blush.

He WAS interested in her. She could hardly believe it.

She wanted to fan herself but she was concerned that the action would bring even more attention to the fact that she had no idea how to react.

"Um …" she wanted to say yes so badly. But somehow or other all she could think about was Molly's advice. This may have been the guy that she wanted to go out with but he was definitely not the guy that she needed to help her with her problem. She had never wanted more to be a normal non-virgin in her life than she did at this very moment. But she wasn't. As far as she was concerned she was still a freak and the last thing that she needed was for him to find out. This was the guy that she wanted to find AFTER she'd dealt with her problem.

Ryan waited with baited breath. He'd thought that it was a fairly simple question and yet he could see that she was debating with herself over what her answer would be. He hated being in this position. It was no wonder that he usually left it up to the girls to come on to him. He hated the idea of putting yourself out there and declaring your interest only to have to sit and wait to see if it would be reciprocated or if you would crash and burn.

She opened her mouth and the words slowly came out. "I … don't think so."

Ryan felt his heart plummet. "Oh." He said. Nothing in his imagined scenarios had prepared him for this. He hesitated for a moment and then looked back at her just to check that he had heard right but it was written in her eyes. "Okay." He said resignedly and he turned around to head back to the weight's room. Obviously he had completely misinterpreted their earlier signs.

As soon as the words left her mouth, Marissa regretted them. And yet she knew that at this very point in time, she really had no other option. But she could see that he was disappointed and she didn't want that. She just needed to deal with her other problem first. Then the answer would definitely be YES.

As Ryan went to head back to his work out she called out. "Ryan."

He turned around, surprise written on his face. "How did you know my name?" he asked.

Marissa blushed again, she knew that her interest in him was about to be made known. She looked shyly at him. "I asked around." She admitted softly, shrugging slightly.

Ryan smiled. So maybe this attraction wasn't all one sided after all. "Have you changed your mind?" he asked hopefully.

"No." she replied. "But … maybe some other time?" she suggested.

He nodded. It wasn't quite what he'd hoped for but it was certainly better than it could have been. "Okay." He smiled again and then added. "Marissa."

Marissa smiled back and asked. "How did you know MY name?"

Ryan laughed as he turned back to head down the hall and back to his work out and he threw back over his shoulder. "I asked around." He laughed.

---

Marissa sat and wondered if she'd done the right thing. She knew that she wasn't ready for someone like Ryan yet.

But she wanted to be. So badly.

She started to try to make a list of possible partners. She needed to do the deed. With someone … at this point anyone.

It was getting desperate.


	5. Chapter 5

**--- Chapter 5--- **

Ryan had another restless night's sleep. He tossed and turned as he ran over in his mind everything that happened between them.

He had thought that his interest was reciprocated but he'd obviously gotten that wrong.

And yet he could swear that there was definitely some spark there. There must have been or she wouldn't have taken a rain check.

And she had gone to the trouble to find out his name.

He smiled as he thought about it. He wondered if she'd had as much trouble finding out his name as he'd had finding out hers.

Hopefully someday he would find out.

But why hadn't she wanted to go out with him? It had only been for coffee after all.

Maybe she didn't drink coffee?

Another thought came into his mind. One that had been lurking there but he had been pushing it away because he found it so distasteful.

Did she have a boyfriend that she didn't want to cheat on?

He was surprised by the jolt of jealousy that speared through his body at the thought.

Not that he'd asked her to cheat. He'd only asked her for a coffee he reasoned.

But he knew already that he wanted more than coffee. He wanted her to cheat. This girl was completely under his skin.

He couldn't believe how much the thought of her having a boyfriend upset him. It wasn't that he didn't want the competition. More that he was concerned that she wasn't the type to even be prepared to enter in to a competition.

He didn't believe that she was the type of girl that would cheat.

And if she did already have a boyfriend then that would leave Ryan on the outer.

Maybe that was what was so different about her from the rest of the girls that he usually associated with.

He sighed. The fog in his brain from a few consecutive nights of poor sleep was catching up on him. But it didn't look like that was going to improve in the near future.

And when she'd said "some other time" – why hadn't he asked when?

Maybe he was blowing this whole thing up out of proportion.

Maybe she just had an assignment to finish and she wanted to get home as soon as she could to work on it?

He glanced at his bedside clock realising that it was almost morning and time to get up.

Maybe he could have made plans with her for this evening when she wasn't working but he'd been too dumbfounded by her rejection to even ask.

And he hadn't even gotten a contact number from her. What an idiot.

Maybe he did need his social secretary's help to even get past GO with any girl and this was the dating god's way of getting even with him for lying (or at least not exactly being truthful) to Luke.

He dragged his body from his bed and headed to the showers.

Somehow, he needed to find out just when "Some other time" was?

---

Ryan couldn't believe that he was doing this.

He'd made up some pathetic excuse to Luke about why he couldn't have lunch with him and here he was wandering the unfamiliar parts of the campus looking for her. He reasoned that if she was a student (which he still wasn't even sure of) then she didn't hang around any of the places that he normally did or she wouldn't have gone undetected for so long. So here he was outside the Psychology building watching the students as they filed out of class on their way to lunch and he realised just how stalkerish his behaviour was becoming.

He needed to do something about it … about her … and fast. Before his 'interest' became an obsession.

He wondered as he looked at the passing students if any of them would care to use him as a case study?

If he continued on in this way then he was sure that he'd make a prize subject.

As the flow of students lessened to a small few, he realised that she wasn't to be found here and moved off to wander other parts of the grounds hoping that he would be lucky enough to find her.

But in the thousands of students he knew that his chances were virtually nil.

But it didn't stop him from wasting the next two hours in trying.

---

On Friday, after another fruitless day spent wandering the buildings and grounds of the campus in his spare time, Ryan returned home to prepare for the evening ahead. He sure hoped that things worked out this evening because he knew that he couldn't keep this up for too much longer.

She was like an addiction that he needed to find the cure for.

He was surprised by Luke's eagerness for his date with Sarah. They had plans to meet some of their friends at a club which featured live music and Luke expected Ryan to join them but Ryan had other plans; plans that Ryan still wasn't ready to share with Luke.

He cried off the club outing, telling Luke that he had a bit of a headache and that the noise in the club would only make it worse.

"Why don't you just take something for it and come along?" Luke asked. "I'm sure there's some Tylenol or something in the bathroom cupboard. One of our female visitors left it there a while ago when it was 'that time of the month'." Luke informed him.

Ryan screwed up his nose. "Too much information. But you know that I don't like taking anything. I'm sure that it will go away of its own accord if I just give it some time and a bit of water. I'm probably just a little dehydrated or something." He suggested, thinking that it probably wasn't too far from the truth. After all the territory that he'd covered in the last 2 days searching for her, it wouldn't be surprising if he was dehydrated.

"You sure?" Luke asked again. "Maybe I should stay home? You might be coming down with something? You have been acting a little strange this week." Luke informed him.

"Well thanks Mom." Ryan replied raising his eyebrows at Luke. "I'll be fine. But you on the other hand should get going. You wouldn't want to keep Sarah waiting on your first date. It's taken you so long to get her to agree to go out with you that you wouldn't want to give her a chance to change her mind." Ryan suggested.

"What are you going to do?" Luke asked still not exactly happy about this change of plans. It seemed that Ryan had been changing plans a lot lately.

"I'll just take it easy." Ryan replied. "Maybe I'll go to bed early." he suggested.

Luke laughed. "I've never known you to go to bed early on a Friday night, unless you've had a hot woman to keep you company. Would you like me to make a few calls and see what I can come up with? I should be able to manage something even if it is at the last minute." He laughed. "You do have quite a few fans out there."

"Thanks for the offer. But I think that I can look after finding my own bed mates." Ryan replied, the vision of Marissa coming instantly to mind.

Luke looked at Ryan and tried to read his mind. There was no doubt that something had been up with him the last few days. "Have you got a hot date coming over that you want to get jiggy with and you think that I'll be in the way?"

Ryan could feel himself start to warm up. Luke was a bit too close to the truth. Much as he would like to think that could be a possibility, he knew that he was still quite a way from anything like that happening. "No. I haven't. Now get going. And say hi to everyone from me. Tell them I'll catch up with them next week."

---

Marissa was filing her nails as she contemplated the empty list in front of her.

How could it be that she was 20 years old (nearly 21) and she couldn't even think of a single person that could help her with her problem?

She wasn't over weight. Her skin was clear. She didn't wear glasses or even contacts. Her teeth were straight. Her hair was probably her best feature.

And yet nothing. No one.

Except the one that she refused to even consider … her mind kept reminding her. But then maybe he was the problem. Ever since she'd laid eyes on him, he was the only one that she could imagine seeing it through with. And that wouldn't do at all. She could just imagine it turning out even worse than the incident with Spencer. And yet would it?

She sighed. Maybe a male hooker was her only answer she reasoned? She cringed at the idea.

She wished that Molly was back so that she could give out some of her worldly wise advice.

It was so quiet at the gym that night. No doubt most people were out enjoying themselves ... With their friends and partners.

And at the end of the night they could retire to bed …. together. She felt forlorn ... like she was missing out on something.

She shook her head and tried to get those thoughts out of her mind. She should be happy. Compared to her normal Friday nights, this could be considered eventful. At least she was doing something. It wasn't much, but she wasn't sitting at home reading or watching TV as she usually did.

She sighed deeply looking towards the door. She wished that is was busier so that she wouldn't have as much time to sit and contemplate her situation.

She had spent so much time in the last two days regretting saying no to Ryan's invitation. And yet she knew that she had no other option. He was a player. His sexual expertise would no doubt be up there with the best of them. Until she could gain some much needed sexual experience, she didn't want to start anything with him that she couldn't see through to the logical end. She wanted to be able to match it with him. Well maybe not match it but at least have some idea of what she was doing. The thought of embarrassing herself with her fumbling attempts at anything to do with it were just too intimidating to contemplate.

And if she was honest with herself, she had to admit that seeing things through with him had filled up more than a few of her dreams since she had met him.

But then the thought of something horrible happening like her last attempt with Spencer just made her resolve even stronger. She needed to find someone else and lose it. And as soon as possible.

Then she might have a chance with someone like Ryan. She shook her head. Realising that she didn't want someone LIKE Ryan … she wanted Ryan.

---

Ryan walked up to the door of the gym but before he opened it he looked inside to make sure that Marissa was there.

Sure enough, just as he'd hoped, Marissa was sitting behind the counter and it seemed that she was having some sort of debate with herself. She had the end of a pencil in her mouth and it looked like she was trying to make a decision.

Since there was no one else in sight, Ryan quickly entered, hoping to make the most of their time alone.

She glanced up at him and he could she the surprise written all over her face.

"Hey." He said softly.

The surprised face was replaced by an impish grin. "Hey. You don't usually come in on a Friday."

"How do you know when I usually come in?" Ryan asked.

The grin was replaced by a large smile. "I asked around." She teased, remembering their words from Wednesday night.

Ryan laughed. "You know you could have just asked me?"

"Where would be the fun in that?" she chuckled and he was instantly entranced. The sound of her laughter something that he knew he would never tire of.

"I can be fun." He teased giving her a little half smile that made her go weak at the knees. She was glad that she was sitting down or she thought that she would have fallen down.

Marissa looked into his eyes and gulped. Somehow or other their light banter had taken a turn. She knew that he could be fun. Fun and dangerous at the same time.

She gulped again as she tried to answer but somehow her voice came out in a husky tone. "I'm sure you can."

Their eyes held and words were not needed for several moments. Marissa could feel herself blush as visions raced thought her mind of what she could have fun doing with Ryan.

Ryan watched her with interest … wondering what she was thinking about, as he watched the play of emotions on her face until he finally said. "How about that coffee tonight?"

Marissa knew that she should say no. It was still too soon. She needed to sort out her little problem and once that was over and done with then she could think of nothing better than spending time with Ryan.

But if she said no again – what's to say that he would even bother asking her a third time? He could have anyone, so why would he bother to continue with her? He'd give her up as a lost cause.

She heard the words come out of her mouth. "I don't finish until ten." She explained, leaving her answer ambiguous because honestly, she didn't know what to say. She wanted to go out with him but she was scared. Not so much scared of him, at least not in the physical sense. But more she was scared of her own reaction to him. She'd never felt for a guy the way that she felt about him. And that was bad … and good.

"So if I wait around until ten, then it's a yes?" Ryan asked.

Marissa hesitated for a moment. It was only coffee so why did it feel like she was about to jump off a cliff into the unknown?

Maybe because the things that she wanted to do with him were unknown to her she thought. But she couldn't help but nod her head in assent.

Ryan smiled and picked up a towel. "If I end up straining something because of over training then you owe me a massage since it's all your fault." He teased as he moved towards the door of the weights room. "I'll see you at ten."

Marissa calmly watched him disappear from sight and then she let the excitement take over. She quickly grabbed her bag to check what she had in it. She wanted to try to look her best for him. Or at least as good as she could, given that she hadn't even expected to see him tonight.

She found eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss all in the bottom of her bag along with some cologne. Shaking her bag again she unearthed a bottle of nail varnish and so she filled in some time by putting a coat on her nails.

It was already nine o'clock so she only had another hour. She needed a mirror to try to work some magic and that meant leaving the front desk and going to the bathroom. Leaving the desk wouldn't be a problem for a few minutes. She had to do that if she wanted to get coffee or go to the bathroom anyhow and if anyone came in then they could help themselves to a towel. She switched the answering machine on to take calls while she was away from the desk and moved to make her way to the bathroom. But as she walked by the doors of the weight's room she couldn't help but glance inside to see if he was actually working out or just waiting for her.

And the sight before her did nothing to calm her nerves.

Ryan had stripped down to a pair of baggy shorts worn low on his hips and an old t shirt with the sleeves ripped out. He had his back to her and was doing chin ups and she stood transfixed watching the muscles in his arms flex as they lifted his body above the bar and then lowered it. He had a light patina of sweat on his skin that made it shine in the reflection from the overhead lights and she found it impossible to take her eyes off him.

He was every woman's fantasy.

Or certainly HER fantasy.

---

Steve left the bathroom and headed back to the weight's room but as he entered the hallway he saw Marissa standing transfixed looking through the glass panels in the doors of the weights room.

She hadn't moved and he couldn't help but wonder what was holding her attention so strongly that she hadn't even heard him enter the corridor. He had his suspicions about what she may have been looking at or more precisely WHO. Shannon had told him about the enquiries that Ryan had made the other night with regards to Marissa and it looked like the interest may very well be reciprocated. He decided to try to sneak up on her and find out for himself if his suspicions were correct.

Little did he know that Marissa's heart was pounding so loudly inside her chest that it's unlikely that she would have heard him even if he had been calling out to her.

When Steve got up behind her, he looked over her shoulder and just as he had suspected, Ryan was the only person working out that you could see from this angle. He couldn't help but take the opportunity to tease her.

"See anything you like?" he asked.

Marissa jumped as if she'd been shot. "What?" she asked completely flustered as she turned around to look at him. She'd had no idea that anyone else was around. How was she ever going to explain herself?

"He's not bad." Steve suggested indicating Ryan with the tilt of his head. "I mean, not that I'm in to guys, but even I have to admit that I can see that he would hold some attraction for the opposite sex."

Marissa had no idea what to reply. She could feel the flush of embarrassment start at the tip of her toes and flood upwards.

Steve laughed. "You don't have to worry about it. He has quite a fan club. It just shows that you're human."

Marissa tried to think of something flippant to say but nothing came to mind. "I'm just on my way to the bathroom." She explained feeling mortified at being caught ogling Ryan.

"Sure." Steve said, and then smiled. "But you look a bit lost. Do you need me to show you the way?" he teased, knowing full well that she already knew.

Marissa hung her head. She knew that she was blushing a bright red and nothing but a good dose of icy cold water was likely to have any success in getting rid of it. "No. I'm fine."

Steve felt bad now for teasing her because he could see the state that she was in. He had no idea why but she really was a shy little mouse. Which was odd given that she was a complete knock out? But he sensed that she didn't realise just how hot she was.

Marissa had started to make her escape down the hall when Steve stopped her. "Are you coming to my party tomorrow night?"

Marissa turned to look back at him. "I didn't know that you were having one."

"Well I am. Our place. Anytime after 8." He explained.

Marissa knew where he and Shannon lived because she had been there before with Molly. But she also knew that she wasn't game enough to go to a party on her own. "I don't think …" she started and then changed tack. "Molly's still away." She said, assuming that would explain all. Surely he wouldn't expect her to come along without her friend.

Steve just shrugged. "So?"

"Well … I just …" Marissa stammered. The idea of going to a party on her own was much too risky for her.

"You could always bring someone." Steve suggested, turning his eyes to the weight's room and following Ryan's progress, making it obvious just who he thought could be an ideal partner.

Marissa gulped. The thought of asking Ryan to a party was something that she knew she wasn't ready for yet.

Was she?

---


	6. Chapter 6

_Thank you so much to those of you that have taken the time to let me know that you are enjoying this story. There is no doubt that you comments help to motivate me. I'm really enjoying writing this after the break I took after 'Girl' but there is no plan for this to become anything like that saga that 'Girl' turned out to be. But there is still a little to go._

_Enjoy!_

**Chapter 6**

Ryan held the door open for Marissa to exit before him. He'd showered and changed into jeans and a clean t-shirt and she thought that he looked good enough to eat. But that only made her feel even more self conscious about what she was wearing. She still had on the gym's employee uniform, although she had donned a jacket that she'd worn over it to cover herself up and keep her warm, on the way to work. She pulled it more closely around her as he moved a little closer and asked "Where would you like to go?"

Marissa looked at him surprised. She had no idea. Her brain was still trying to come to terms with the fact that she was actually walking along beside him. And when he moved slightly closer to her to speak to her and she could actually smell the fresh male scent of him, then, she could actually feel the goose bumps rise and she shivered slightly.

Ryan was instantly concerned. "Are you cold?"

She panicked. Scared that if she said yes he may get even closer to her. "No I'm fine. It's just my legs are a little chilly." She explained.

Ryan looked down at her gym shorts and noticed the goose bumps on her glorious legs. He'd never felt envious of a goose bump before but it seemed that this girl kept proving that there was a first time for everything. He wanted to rub his hands up and down her long legs and warm them up but he knew it was a bit too soon for anything like that. She really was a puzzle to him. She seemed quite skittish. Almost like a young colt, he thought and smiled to himself at the idea of telling her but instead he just suggested "Well how about we just go to the diner around the corner. Then we can get you out of the cold quickly."

Marissa nodded, thinking that the less time that she spent alone with him the better. The diner was always packed with students so she knew that she'd have plenty of people around to distract her … or him.

---

As they entered, Ryan steered her to a booth at the back and after they'd ordered the silence descended on the table.

Marissa was feeling awkward. She knew that she was way out of her depth with this guy. She should never have come.

Ryan on the other hand was just enjoying taking in the pleasure of being in her company. He hated girls who seemed to have to fill every quiet minute with noise. He'd swear that some of them could talk about nothing for hours … and they often did. Whereas Marissa it seemed, only spoke when she had something to say. He was liking her more and more by the minute.

"So are you studying here?" Ryan finally asked. He'd been enjoying the silence but he needed to know more about her.

Marissa nodded. "Yeah. Literature and Creative Writing." She replied. "You?" she asked.

"Architecture." He replied simply.

"Do you like it?" Marissa asked wanting to know more about him.

Ryan nodded. "Love it. I never had to make a choice." He shrugged. "It's all I've ever wanted to do." He explained.

Marissa smiled. "You're lucky. I really had no idea for a long time. Even now, I'm not sure if I've chosen the right thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love what I'm doing. There's nothing I love more than burying myself in a good book. But I'm not exactly sure what I'll do with it when I finish. Whereas you know exactly where you're headed."

"Yeah. Newport." He replied smiling at the thought of her with her head buried in a book.

"Newport?" she queried.

"Yeah. I've got an internship lined up with a development company there for when I finish here." He explained.

"Wow. You really do know where you're headed. I … on the other hand … have no idea."

"What would you like to do?" Ryan asked.

"You'll laugh if I tell you." She stated.

"I won't. I promise. Although if it involves wearing a Ronald McDonald outfit and changing you hair colour to bright red then I can't promise that I won't snigger a little." Ryan suggested light heartedly.

Marissa laughed. "I assure you that it doesn't involve changing my hair colour."

"Good." Ryan said and he slowly reached over and picked up a few strands of her hair and gently entwined it in his fingers. "It's perfect just the way that it is." He said softly.

Marissa had never realised that there were nerve endings in her hair but she would swear that she could feel him touching her through the tips of her hair. Her breathing became laboured as he continued to twirl it through his fingers until he suddenly dropped it.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have …" Ryan said embarrassedly. How could he lose himself in a lock of hair? He really needed to get a grip.

Marissa took a moment and then relaxed a little now that the connection had been broken. "It's fine." She said, still amazed at the effect that this guy had on her. "I'm glad that you're not in to bright red." She teased as she realised his discomfit. It was good to know that he was at least a little nervous too.

---

The time passed quickly. Too quickly. They talked about all sorts of things and it seemed like they'd only just arrived when the waitress came to tell them that they were closing in a few minutes.

They were both surprised when they looked around and realised that they were the only ones still there. Neither of them had noticed when everyone else had left. They had been too enthralled in one another.

Ryan knew that he wanted … no NEEDED … to see more of this girl. He wanted to spend more time with her. She was like a drug that he couldn't get enough of.

Marissa knew that she was completely confused. She'd never enjoyed herself more with a guy than she had in the last couple of hours and yet she was still petrified by the thought of what he might expect from her. She knew that she wasn't ready for him.

"I guess that we'd better be going before they throw us out." Ryan suggested as he stood up.

Marissa nodded. And went to slide out from behind the booth and Ryan held out his hand to help her.

Marissa kindly accepted it and as their hands touched for the first time they both were shocked by the jolt of electricity that shot through them.

Marissa pulled away as if she had been burnt and Ryan didn't know what to say. He'd never felt anything like this before.

He quickly covered his shock by pulling some bills from his wallet as his heart raced. Placing them on the table, he turned to escort her from the diner, making sure to keep his distance and still wondering about what had just happened but trying to appear cool, calm and collected. No girl had ever had this sort of effect on him before.

Marissa was still quietly flexing her hand contemplating the effect that touching him had brought on. She'd read in romance novels about sparks between people but she'd thought that they were merely a figment of someone's over zealous imagination. She'd never believed that they were a physical fact. She was sure that the current that had shot between them was so strong, that it could have lit up the room. Her heart was still pounding and she just knew that she had to get away from him as quickly as she could. She needed time to process this new and profound discovery. She glanced at him but he seemed to have taken it all in his stride. Obviously this was just something else that proved that she really was no match for him in any way, shape or form.

The thought depressed her.

They made their way back to the car park of the gym, both lost with their own thoughts. They kept a safe distance between one another as they tried to come to terms with what was happening between them.

Marissa unlocked her car and was about to hop in when Ryan asked. "Would you like to do something tomorrow?"

She looked at him and he could see something almost like panic in her eyes.

"I can't. I have work." She explained and proceeded to get in to her car.

He was holding the door of her car open and he tried again. "Tomorrow night? After work?" Ryan suggested, not prepared to take no for an answer.

Marissa could see that he wasn't going to let her go easily and yet she knew that she couldn't get into something with him yet. Not until she'd sorted her self out.

Marissa shook her head again. "I'm sorry. Not yet." She said and started the car.

Ryan stood there stunned. He'd thought that things were going so well.

Marissa closed the door and wound down the window. She could see that he was disappointed and yet she knew that she had no other choice. She looked at him and he was sure that he could see the regret in her eyes. It seemed that she was silently pleading with him to understand and he wondered what it was that was preventing her from saying yes. He'd swear that the attraction between them was mutual and yet she still wouldn't go out with him.

"I'm sorry." She repeated. "It's too soon." She looked like she was about to cry as she started the car and drove off. Ryan stood perfectly still as he watched the lights from her car disappear into the distance.

Eventually, turning to his car, he tried to run over everything that had happened between them. It had all been going so well. Or at least he'd thought it was. Why couldn't she go out with him? Did she have a boyfriend? It was the only thing that he could think of.

Or maybe she had recently broken up with someone and she thought that it was too soon to get involved again.

As he ran that idea over in his mind he found it much more palatable than the idea of her with another guy.

But if that was the case then he just needed to let her know that he didn't want to rush her. He was prepared to take all the time in the world as long as they could still spend time together.

After spending just a few hours in her company, the thought of even a day without her in it seemed to stretch before him like a lonely wasteland.

---

After another restless night, Marissa got ready for work at the library with a new resolve.

After fleeing from Ryan the previous night (and she had decided that 'fleeing' was the only thing you could call it, such was her haste to get away from him) she had spent the first few hours in bed thinking about the time that she'd spent with him and running over everything that he'd said in her mind. She had never been so attracted to a guy before in her life. He was everything she'd ever wanted.

But spending time with him had just confirmed her earlier suspicion. He was the guy that she wanted to be with. But not just for one night. He was the guy that she wanted as a boyfriend. And she wasn't prepared to risk losing him just because she was inexperienced. The memories of her time with Spencer Wyatt were still much too vivid in her mind.

And so she had then spent the next few hours in bed deciding what she should do.

Having her plan firmly fixed in her mind she set off for work, prepared to ask the first half decent guy she saw to go to Steve's party tonight. She hadn't quite worked out how she could guarantee that he would want to sleep with her but she figured that if she borrowed one of Molloy's 'slutty outfits' (as Molly liked to call the couple of items that she had that were especially chosen to make a guys eyes pop out), and made sure that he had a few drinks then she should be able to close the deal. After all she reasoned, weren't men supposed to be interested all the time?

---

It was nearly lunchtime and still Marissa hadn't found anyone to ask. It seemed like today was 'couples day' at the library and any guy half decent was already attached to a girl. And a couple of others were attached to guys, she noted.

She wondered if she was being too fussy. But she didn't think so. She knew that no one was going to measure up to Ryan and so she had never expected to find someone like him.

She had ruled out one guy because he was so big that she figured that he would crush her if he was on top. And some how she imagined that was the way that they'd do it. She thought that it was the 'normal' position and she didn't imagine for a second that she would be adventurous – at least not for the first time. When/if she ever got together with Ryan then she could imagine all sorts of things. She blushed at just the thought. But she really needed to learn to walk before she attempted to run.

She had also ruled out a guy that had bad skin. She shivered just thinking about it. He was all lumpy and bumpy and she didn't know if it was confined to just his face but she'd decided that she didn't want to investigate the rest of his body just in case.

And then there was the scruffy guy with the greasy hair. He wasn't bad to look at but she'd ruled him out because she figured that if his personal cleanliness was bad then no doubt where he lived would be just as bad if not worse and the since the other decision that she'd come to, was that they would do the deed at his place, he wasn't a possibility either.

Her plan was that she would pick him up in her car and take him to Steve's party. There, she'd make sure that he had a few drinks to loosen up while she of course had none. (She had no intention of a repeat performance of the Spencer debacle.)

She would then drive him home where she would accept his invitation for coffee. They would do the deed and then she could drive home to her own place whenever she felt ready. (Which at this point she thought would be very soon after.)

The other alternative of them doing it at her place was unappealing on many levels. Firstly, he would leave his mark on her sanctuary and she didn't like the idea of that at all and secondly, she had no idea what she could do to get rid of him once she was finished. She hated the idea that he might think that he could stay the night. She only wanted him for one thing and once that was over she didn't want him to get any ideas about them being 'a couple'. No, she thought it was much better that she be able to leave whenever she wanted.

She already knew that she wanted Ryan. She just needed to get ready for him. Okay so she'd still be a novice but at least she would know exactly how the pieces fit together. She would have some idea of what she was doing. And ultimately, she wanted to be able to please him. She didn't want him to be disappointed in her.

---

Ryan had had another restless night. He kept running over Marissa's words in his head and wondering exactly what the reasons were behind them.

He'd state his life on the fact that the attraction was mutual and yet she'd basically run away.

She had said 'not yet' and 'it's too soon'.

Why 'not yet'? he wondered again for the umpteenth time.

Whatever or whoever was stopping her from spending time with him, he knew that he needed to find out the whole story. Maybe then he'd be able to come up with a plan to change things.

He decided to head off to the gym again. She had said that she had work today and even though he knew that Molly didn't work on Saturdays, he figured that maybe Marissa was filling in for Mia for some reason.

If nothing else, he figured that this obsession he had for her was certainly going to help his fitness. It seemed that the gym had become his second home ever since he'd met her.

---

A short time later, Marissa was shelving books in the IT section when she noticed a guy sitting on his own, working on a laptop. She walked around the table to get a better look at him and found nothing offensive. He must have felt her eyes on him because he looked up and after checking her out, he smiled.

She decided that, just maybe, this would be the one. He seemed fairly clean cut, no braces that she could tell, a bit scrawny but at this point she remembered the old saying that 'beggars can't be choosers.' All in all he was definitely the best that she'd seen so far and she was running out of time and so thinking only of Ryan, she took a deep breath and approached the guy.

"Hi. I'm Marissa." She introduced herself.

He smiled. "Um. Hi. Greg." He answered.

Great. Definitely no braces, Marissa thought to herself. So far, so good. "Would you like to go to a party tonight?" she asked.

He quickly looked around, thinking that her question must have been directed to someone else. Was this hot chick really talking to him? When he realised that there was no one else about he looked back at her. "You mean me?"

"Yeah. If you have nothing else on." Marissa replied.

He looked blankly at her for a moment and Marissa all of a sudden realised a flaw with her plan that she needed to clear up straight away. "Unless you have a girlfriend." She had no intention of splitting up some couple just to fix her own problem.

He shook his head. "Me? A girlfriend?" he asked almost as if he found the idea ridiculous.

"Or boyfriend." She added, feeling that the holes in her plan were quickly surfacing.

He quickly shook his head again to reassure her. "No. Definitely no boyfriend … or girlfriend."

Marissa took that as a very good sign. "Okay then. So. Will you come?" she asked again.

"Um. I guess so." He replied hesitantly. "Are you just looking to rent a crowd?" he asked.

Marissa realised that he probably thought that she was some poor pathetic loser that needed to get strangers to come along to her party otherwise no one would turn up but that wasn't the case. (Well maybe the poor pathetic loser bit was right, she thought, but he didn't need to know that.)

"No. A friend's having a party and he told me to bring someone." She explained.

"So … I'm actually going to be going … with you?" Greg asked for clarification. He'd thought that maybe she actually had some ugly friend that she was going to be ditching him on to. He couldn't imagine why Marissa wouldn't already have a boyfriend. She was obviously way out of his league. That is if he even had a league. "Not just going … going?" he asked. Maybe he was just making up numbers.

Marissa nodded. She realised that she hadn't explained herself very well at the start. "Yeah. If that's okay?"

Greg couldn't believe his luck. He was tempted to ask to take a photo of her on his phone just to show his friends because he didn't think that they would ever believe him. And he was scared that she'd change her mind. "Sure. Um. Where should I pick you up?" he asked.

"You don't. I'll pick you up." Marissa instructed. She knew she needed to be in control. "Just give me your address and I'll see you about 8." She said feeling very pleased with herself that at least the first part of the plan was taken care of.

---

Ryan's visit to the gym had been a complete waste of time. Mia had no idea who Marissa even was. And … she'd tried to come on to Ryan as well … suggesting that if he was looking for a date for the night then she'd be more than happy to oblige.

Ryan quickly killed that little idea on the head but she certainly didn't give up easily and he had ended up making a hasty exit, taking note to remind himself not to frequent the gym on the weekends ever again.

So, Marissa must have some other job.

He was kicking him self that in their discussions last night, it was never mentioned. He was sure that he would have remembered it, if it had been. He had no idea how else he could get in contact with her.

And he didn't want to wait until Monday evening.

The only other possibility was that she might go to Steve's birthday party tonight. She obviously knew some of the gym staff. And they were all fairly friendly (Mia more friendly than most, he thought to himself shuddering at the memory). So Steve and Shannon would probably have invited Marissa along as well.

Of course whether she intended to attend or not, he had no idea. She certainly hadn't mentioned it when he'd suggested seeing her.

But Ryan was supposed to be going to another party with Luke tonight; To Jake's - one of Luke's water polo friends. And after not turning up to the game last Tuesday when he cried off to go in search of Marissa, he knew that he had to at least make an appearance or there would be hell to pay.

But Marissa was more important. He decided that he'd make an appearance at Jake's – stay for a couple of hours and then sneak out and head over to Steve's. It was worth a try if there was a chance that Marissa would be there.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N A big thank you to those of you who are taking the time to read this and let me know. I hope that you are all enjoying it. I must admit that I'm having fun with it. I just thought that I should warn you that there are only a few more chapters to go. I never intended for this to become a saga like "A Girl for Ryan" did._

**Chapter 7 **

Marissa couldn't believe that the evening could be going so badly. Nothing in her plan had prepared her for this.

Firstly, she'd arrived at Greg's place only to be greeted by him at the door in a suit. Certainly, you could have called it a casual suit … because it was all crumpled and it didn't fit him properly. But it was a suit nonetheless. She tried to tell him kindly that he was a little over dressed and he had taken it reasonably well, informing her that he didn't get out much and that he hadn't know what to wear.

He'd looked at her in her black mini skirt with the red halter top that she'd borrowed from Molly's wardrobe and it was obvious that he was stunned. She knew that it did little to cover her assets. The skirt was uncomfortably short and the soft fabric of what there was of the top, clung to the outline of her breasts and left little to the imagination. But then that had been her plan. She had to try to seduce this guy and she really had no experience on how to go about it. She just hoped that if she showed enough flesh then he might get the hint.

But then noticing the effect that it was having on him only made her feel even more guilty about what she was doing. He seemed so uncomfortable. It looked like this guy was even more of a social outcast than she was.

She'd convinced him to lose the tie and jacket and they'd headed off to the party. Little had she known that things were only going to get worse?

---

Marissa tried to rub away the frown that she knew had become a permanent fixture on her brow. Why oh why, she thought to herself, hadn't she realised that Greg was sitting in the IT section of the library? It was all her own fault. She couldn't blame him because SHE was unobservant.

But it seemed that Greg was the proverbial computer nerd. He had no social skills what so ever.

And they were at a party full of active sport freaks. She realised that she couldn't have found a worse place to take him if she had tried. The only reason that she fitted in was because she was used to being around Molly and her friends.

He had nothing in common with anyone, including her. She had tried to introduce him to people but every time he opened his mouth, it just became even more obvious that he didn't fit in. And so he'd taken to not opening his mouth at all, unless of course it was to pour alcohol down it. And in his misery, he had been doing plenty of that.

It had only taken about 10 minutes to realise that bringing him along was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. And every time that thought ran through Marissa's mind she cringed. She couldn't help but wonder if it could be literal and if at the end of the night she might find that he had a square penis when they got down to business? If so then she didn't think that it would fit in to her round hole. She realised she was being ridiculous but nothing was going to plan, so why should she imagine that the end of the night would be any better.

She'd taken a few minutes rest from 'babysitting Greg duty' to head to the bathroom. She'd left him outside talking tennis to Steve. She knew that it wouldn't be long before one of them realised that they were talking about totally different things.

Greg was talking about the Nintendo Wii version, Steve was talking about the type you played on a court with rackets and balls. But it was as close as he was going to find all night to having something in common with someone.

As Marissa was leaving the bathroom she ran into Shannon in the hallway.

"I see you decided to bring friend?" Shannon asked.

"I hope that was okay?" Marissa asked feeling like she should apologise for her choice in guys. "Steve suggested it."

"No. It's fine. I just think that Steve was expecting you to bring Ryan along with you?" Shannon explained.

"Oh." Marissa blushed remembering Steve catching her as she'd watched Ryan last night. It's no wonder that he may have gotten that impression. "I think that Ryan's a little out of my league." Marissa said in explanation.

"Nonsense." Shannon replied. "Don't underestimate yourself girl. If he could see you in that get up then I'm sure that he'd be after you in a flash."

Marissa smiled as she felt her body respond to just the thought of Ryan wanting her. She realised that her nipples had peaked from just thinking about him and she felt embarrassed.

"… As if he isn't already. I can assure you that he's never had me ringing around trying to find out any girl's identity before." Shannon added.

"Oh." Marissa said as she realised where Ryan had found out her name from. If she was honest with herself then she knew she shouldn't be surprised. Ryan wouldn't have asked her to coffee last night if he wasn't at least a little interested. And she was too. But she just needed to sort herself out first. And that meant Greg.

"The guy your with, Greg is it?" Shannon asked. "Is he your boyfriend?" Shannon had been wondering ever since they'd arrived. They didn't seem like they had anything in common but then Shannon knew the old story that opposites attract.

"Oh no." Marissa said. She didn't want people getting the wrong idea about her … or more importantly THEM. "I barely know him. I just asked him to come with me tonight." Marissa explained thinking that she could add, 'after I have sex with him tonight then I don't expect to see him ever again', but she thought that Shannon might find that a little strange. It sounded strange even to her and it was HER plan.

Shannon frowned. She didn't know Marissa all that well but she seemed to be a complete contradiction in terms. She'd never seen her dressed like this and it was a complete come on and yet she admitted that she barely knew the guy. Shannon was about to say more when they were interrupted.

---

Ryan wondered if he was wasting his time. The party at Jake's had been good. Fun. And yet he couldn't get his mind off Marissa and so he'd made his apologies to his friends and taken the short drive to Steve and Shannon's house just on the chance that she would be there.

But as soon as he noticed Marissa's car out in front, he wished that he had never even bothered going to Jake's in the first place. He'd wasted time. Time that he could have spent with Marissa.

Making his way inside he moved through the lounge room stopping only momentarily to greet people. But he wasn't interested in getting into any conversations he wanted to find Marissa. He spotted her on the other side of the room, near the kitchen. She was talking to Shannon and he was completely blown away … freezing on the spot. She looked like sex on legs. He had never imagined that she would dress that way. Whenever she was with him she always seemed somewhat shy and yet here she was looking the complete opposite. Her skirt was so short that he knew that if she were to bend over then she would be advertising … and the top … the soft fabric barely covered her perfect breasts; the peaked nipples were obvious as they stood to attention. Not surprising he thought, she must be cold, she barely had anything on.

He really hoped that she'd dressed that way hoping to attract him. But she hadn't needed to bother. She already had him … hook, line and sinker.

He realised that she still hadn't seen him and so he took a few moments to stare. He had this sudden urge to take her nipples into his mouth. In truth, she looked like she wanted to be fucked … and he knew just the guy to help her with that. He shook his head for a moment confused. He couldn't help but get his hopes up that he'd do just that before the end of the night and yet … he realised that he was a little disappointed. This was the girl that he'd been dreaming about making love to, not just fucking. Obviously he'd read her all wrong. But, at this point, he'd take anything that he could get. She really was a complete mystery to him.

As the shock of seeing her receded, and the need to actually be with her took over, he went to move towards her when he was suddenly grabbed from behind. "Looking for me?" Mia asked wrapping her arms around him and leaning in for a kiss.

Ryan turned his head away quickly, so that the kiss glanced off his cheek. "No. I told you, I'm not interested." He said as he pulled her arms from around his neck and placed them by her side.

"But you're here on you own." Mia replied. "And so am I. So why don't we …"

Ryan cut her off before she got any further. "I'm looking for Marissa." He explained.

Mia smiled. She'd checked Marissa out when she'd arrived wanting to size up the competition and was delighted to find that she was with someone. "Marissa already has a date." Mia replied cattily. "So that leaves just you … and me." she tried to add sexily.

Ryan's head shot up as he looked towards Marissa, the jealousy spearing through him. Steve had now joined the two girls and whatever was being said between them, there were concerned looks all around. Marissa and Steve moved to make their way out the back door, from where Steve had come and Ryan instantly followed, making his way across the room as quickly as possible.

When he reached where Shannon was still standing, she looked at him surprised. She didn't really know what was going on with Ryan and Marissa but she was pretty sure that Ryan had a thing for this girl and that being the case then she knew that Ryan going outside right now could NOT be a good thing.

Plus the fact that he was wearing the face of a jealous boyfriend only made her all that more positive that she needed to delay him.

"Ryan. I didn't see you arrive." She said hoping that he'd stop and talk and give Marissa time to deal with Greg.

"Hi Shannon. I'll be back in a minute." He explained. "I just want to catch up with Marissa."

"I think that Marissa might be leaving, so maybe you should just catch up with her some other time." Shannon suggested, her hand on his arm obviously trying to stop him.

Ryan was confused. He hesitated. He could tell that Shannon was trying to impede his progress and get him to leave Marissa alone and he couldn't help but wonder why? Had Marissa asked her to run interference?

But he didn't think that Marissa had even seen him, so she wouldn't even know that he was there. And what had they been talking about earlier? Part of him wanted to know if his name had entered the conversation. But if Marissa was about to leave then he wanted to at least see her before she went. "I just want to say hello." He explained and pushed past Shannon on his way outside.

---

Marissa had never planned for this. Steve had come to tell her that it appeared that her 'friend' was becoming a problem. After it became obvious that the tennis's they were talking about were two completely different things, a difference of opinion had been formed about which was the best. However, Greg hadn't been prepared to let it go. The Dutch courage that the alcohol he'd been steadily consuming had given him had made him become loud and argumentative and he was trying to pick fights with everyone. Marissa knew that she had to get him out of there and home as quickly as possible, before she ended up with even more regrets about the evening.

Ryan made his was outside only to get a glimpse of Marissa with a guy draped over her as she made her way around the side of the house. She was obviously making a getaway. He hesitated, wondering if he should just give up and retire gracefully but something inside him wouldn't let him do that.

He wanted to see the competition, even if it hurt.

So he quickly made his way through the crowd, which at least was a little more sparse here than inside and he followed her, catching up just as she was at the top of the few stairs that would take her down to the kerbside and her car.

He softly reached for her arm. "Marissa?"

She turned, startled, as the sound of his voice made her insides melt and her knees give way. She could feel herself start to fall and the guy draped over her went with her. They ended up in a pile at the bottom of the stairs.

"Are you all right?" Ryan asked as he quickly moved to help Marissa up but as she went to stand before him, the front of her top fell completely open, her breasts falling free.

Ryan was completely transfixed. The sight of her perfect breasts on display brought all of his pent up lust for her to the fore. He knew that he was devouring them with his eyes.

She gasped as she followed his line of sight and realised that the few buttons that held the top together had been ripped off. Obviously Greg had held onto it as he was falling and it had given way under his weight.

She quickly crossed her arms in front of her trying to cover herself and that was when Ryan noticed the nasty graze on her elbow, his concern for her quickly over taking everything else.

"You're hurt." He said the concern clearly evident in his voice.

"I'll be fine, I just … I didn't know you were here. " Marissa explained still with her arms crossed over her chest and trying to maintain some kind of dignity.

"Come back inside and we'll get something to fix you up." Ryan said still ignoring the obviously drunk guy on the ground beside her.

"I can't. I'd be too embarrassed. Plus, I have to get Greg home." she explained.

"I gather this is Greg?" Ryan asked rhetorically, looking at the barely conscious guy on the ground.

Marissa nodded still holding her arms firmly across her chest.

Ryan realised her discomfit and quickly stripped off the t-shirt he was wearing and offered it to her.

She didn't move for a minute because she couldn't take her eyes off him. He was left in just a wife beater and she could feel her heart race as she looked at the perfectly proportioned arms and chest that she remembered watching last night. She was glad that the light from the porch didn't quite reach this far because she could feel herself blush at the thought of being caught last night when she was ogling him. And she knew that she was doing it again.

Ryan wondered why she was hesitating. Was something of his so abhorrent that she would rather walk around half naked? "I know it's not much but it's better than nothing." He said still holding it out to her.

Startled out of her trance, Marissa took the t-shirt from him, making sure not to touch him in the process. The memory of the sparks from last night was still too vivid in her mind. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"I'm sure." He assured her.

"But you can't go back inside dressed like that." She explained.

"I'd suspect that most of them have seen me in less." Ryan replied thinking about his gym attire.

But Marissa cringed. She didn't like the thought of anyone else but her, lusting after Ryan. And she was sure that every other female inside would enjoy Ryan's lack of attire much too much. And then she thought of his reputation as a player. How many of the women inside would have seen him in less? Much much less. She felt sick just thinking about it.

She turned her back to him and pulled the shirt on over her head instantly feeling her nipples harden at the thought, smell and touch of something of Ryan's against her bare skin and then she quickly removed what was left of the strip of fabric that had been Molly's top, using it to mop up the bleeding from her elbow.

Ryan couldn't help but look at her breasts falling free under his t-shirt and he could feel the tug in his pants as he thought about the fact that from now on he would always think of it as his 'lucky' shirt … lucky that it got to feel Marissa's nipples rub against it. He'd give anything to be in the same position right now.

Greg moaned as he tried to get up and Marissa went to help him.

"I have to get him home." she explained, looking at Ryan.

Ryan had no idea what was happening. He was sure that he could still sense a connection between them and yet here she was taking some other guy home.

"Is he your boyfriend?" he asked.

Marissa shook her head. "No."

"Well then … couldn't we just call him a cab?" he asked.

There was a part of her that wanted nothing more than getting rid of Greg and spending some time with Ryan but she knew that she couldn't. Sure things weren't going to plan. But she owed it to Greg to get him home. She was sure that he'd had an even worse night than she had.

Plus if she could manage to get a few cups of coffee into him then maybe the night wouldn't be a complete waste after all. Maybe they'd still be able to do the deed. And then, when she returned Ryan's shirt, then maybe things could be different. Maybe they'd be able to start something.

"I can't. I invited him." She explained. "I feel obliged to take him home."

Ryan recoiled as if she'd slapped him. When Mia had said that Marissa was with someone, he'd at first thought that she may have had a boyfriend, that the reason that it had been 'too soon' for them was because she needed to break up with the guy. But then, when Marissa had confirmed that the guy wasn't her boyfriend, Ryan had assumed that they must have just hooked up casually at the party.

But it was worse than that. Much worse.

She had invited 'Greg'. She had chosen 'Greg'.

She hadn't wanted Ryan.

He felt gutted.

He quickly moved to hoist Greg off the ground and put him unceremoniously in Marissa's car. Closing the door as quickly as possible but not before Greg managed to mumble in his half conscious daze. "I'm going home with the hot chick."

It turned the knife already in Ryan.

---

Marissa could sense that Ryan was hurt. But that had never been part of the plan.

She hadn't expected to see him at the party. But looking back she realised that he was probably more likely to attend than her. He did move in these circles.

But she never wanted to hurt him. And yet she knew that she had. She turned to him before she hopped into her car. "When do you need the shirt back?" she asked hoping that she'd be able to make some sort of apology to him at that time. She knew that now wasn't the time. He was shutting down.

Ryan just shrugged. He didn't care about shirts right now. He didn't care about anything but the fact that he was turning himself inside out over this girl that didn't seem to care for him at all. Maybe he should go back inside and see what Mia was up to? After all, he'd promised himself no girl drama this year.

Marissa could sense that she was losing him. The look on his face was gut wrenching. But she couldn't tell him that she was doing all this for him. She knew that he wouldn't understand. At least, not yet. "Ryan. Please? Everything will be different soon. I promise. I just have something that I need to take care of."

Ryan had no idea what she was getting at. He was completely perplexed.

"Please just … wait for me?" She pleaded but didn't wait for an answer, just started her car and drove off.

--

Ryan watched her tail lights fade off into the night. Was it really only last night that she'd done the same thing to him?

What the hell did she mean by that? He wondered. He'd just been about to go fuck some other girl and she asks him to wait for her while she takes another guy home. And not just any guy. A guy that she'd invited.

She really was screwing with his mind and he liked to do his screwing in a totally different way.

He sat on the top step for a while trying to make sense of everything and getting absolutely no where.

Eventually, he made his way back inside. There was a part of him that wanted nothing more than to just hop in his car and go straight home but he thought that he'd go and have a chat with Shannon. She seemed to know Marissa a little. Maybe she could shed some light on what was going on with her?

---

As Marissa drove back to Greg's place, she couldn't get the thought of Ryan out of her mind. The look on his face when she'd driven off was …

When she had first said that she'd invited Greg, Ryan had seemed so hurt and then he almost seemed to get angry and that was when she'd tried to apologise and then when she'd left he seemed … confused.

And how could she blame him because that's how she felt right now. Confused. Here she was driving some strange guy home, hoping to sleep with him just because she wanted to be with Ryan. How did she ever get to this point? She knew that she couldn't sleep with Greg. And yet she wasn't ready to sleep with Ryan either.

She dropped Greg off at home and left as quickly as she could and headed home to her empty bed.

After a quick shower she pulled on her flannel PJ pants and then, as she reached for the matching top she hesitated, and picked up Ryan's t-shirt instead, pulling it over her head.

She curled into her bed with the scent of him filling her senses and wishing that it was the real thing that she had with her instead.


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR ANYONE WHO IS READING THIS STORY._**

_I will be changing the rating on the next post to M so it won't be appearing in this section anymore. If you want to continue to read it then you'll have to specify that you want to read M rated stories._

_Just thought I should let you know in case you think that I've stopped posting._

**Chapter 8**

Marissa woke the next morning after the best night's sleep that she'd had since she'd met Ryan, which was surprising given how depressed she was when she'd gone to bed. Nothing about the previous night had gone well.

She knew that she'd hurt Ryan.

And not only was she still a virgin but even worse - she didn't think that she had it in her to do the deed with just anyone anymore. She wanted it to be with Ryan. But she was petrified of repeating the Spencer scenario again. She didn't want Ryan to think of her as some hopeless inexperienced kid. She wanted to meet him as an equal. But how could that happen?

She stretched in bed, loving the feel of his shirt on her body. She knew that it was the reason that she had slept so well. It kept the memory of him close and even though she knew that she should get out of bed and throw it in the wash so that she could return it to him … there was no way that she could do that. She didn't want to lose the smell of him. In fact just the thought of it, of him, of the way that his body had looked when he'd taken it off and offered it to her, of the lust that she'd seen evident in his eyes when he'd looked at her when her top had come astray … was making her heart quicken and her body tingle in all sorts of unfamiliar ways.

At least they were unfamiliar until a week ago when she'd met Ryan. But now they seemed to happen whenever she was thinking of him. She couldn't help but let her hand trail down inside her pants wanting to find some relief from the tension inside her.

---

Marissa couldn't wait for her break at work that day.

Because she'd made a decision.

If she couldn't go through with doing the deed with some random guy then the only other thing that she could think of was to revert to her other great friend for help.

Books.

At many troubled times in her life she had resorted to books. They had been her friend and ally and had never wronged her. Surely she could learn a lot from them. It wouldn't be the same as the real thing but it would be an awful lot better than knowing nothing at all.

She knew that she would be too embarrassed to actually borrow one on the subject and take it home but that didn't mean that she couldn't take her break and try to read up as much as she possibly could about the subject while she was at the library. And hopefully they would have plenty of illustrations so that when she got up close and personal then she wouldn't react like she had with Spencer.

---

Sunday afternoon, Ryan stood outside the main library and looked up at the building contemplating yet again if he was doing the right thing.

He still really had no idea. But the one thing that he was sure of was that he couldn't get Marissa out of his mind. Shannon hadn't been able to help much last night but she did at least know where Marissa worked and that had led him to decide that he needed to study in the library today.

He figured that he had some tests coming up that he could use as an excuse for being there. And he'd already planned that if she accused him of not giving her space or time to take care of whatever it was that she needed to 'take care of' then he would just plead that Luke was making too much noise for him to be able to concentrate at home. He was sure that she would believe that – anyone who knew Luke would.

She didn't have to know that the only reason that he was even putting his foot inside the library was to see her. But he needed to know just what was going on with her.

She was such a contradiction in terms. One day she seemed shy and skittish and at least a little attracted to him, the next, he finds her at a party dressed like a classy hooker and with some other guy that, according to Shannon, Marissa barely knew. A guy that obviously thought Marissa was going home with him.

The thought that Marissa may have ended up in the guy's bed was almost more than Ryan could bear.

And yet when he'd spoken to her and her top had come astray, he was sure that she had been embarrassed. And she'd apologised and asked him to wait until she'd taken care of something. But what?

And which was the real Marissa?

He wasn't about to let her string him along anymore. He needed to know if she was interested. One way or the other. And if she was interested then why the hell wouldn't she go out with him?

He made his way inside the door and looked around for Marissa but couldn't see her anywhere. Shannon had said that Marissa worked on the weekends but maybe she only worked for part of the day and he'd already missed her. He hung around for a little while, all the time keeping an eye on the front counter, but she was no where to be seen. He contemplated just leaving but decided against it. He needed to know what was going on with her and so he finally went up to the counter and asked after her only to find out that Marissa was on her break.

He went to turn around disappointed and wondering what he was going to do to fill in time, when the lady behind the counter added. "I think she mentioned something about going up to the sixth floor. She sometimes likes to read on her breaks, so she's probably buried in a book somewhere up there."

Ryan thanked the woman and quickly made his way to the lifts. He tried to compose in his mind what he was going to say to her.

Could he just say "What is the problem? OR What am I waiting for?" and get it all out in the open?

Or would that just scare her off again. The frown that seemed to have taken up residence on his brow was back again.

---

Marissa was sitting on the floor between the shelves of books. She had contemplated reading at one of the tables supplied but she was too scared that someone might look over and see what she was reading.

And the truth was that she'd decided to go for the illustrated version hoping to pick up as much information as possible in as short a time as possible. Who knew when she might run into Ryan again?

She was utterly amazed at some of the things that she seen and read about and she knew that her cheeks were burning with embarrassment but she was trying to keep all thoughts of Ryan away and remain scientific in her approach. If she thought about him then it only made things worse.

She was completely immersed in the book she was reading and had actually held the book out at arm's length and turned it 90 degrees trying to work out just how you could get into that position when she jumped as she heard someone speak behind her.

"If you need some help trying that out, then I'd be happy to volunteer." Ryan offered.

Marissa dropped the book as if it was on fire and quickly stood up to turn to him. "I was just …" she had no idea what to offer as an excuse.

Ryan laughed. "Don't be embarrassed. I love a girl that's keen to experiment."

His words only made her feel even worse. She wasn't even a beginner and he was no doubt already in the advanced class.

"I'm not… It wasn't … What are you doing here?" she asked trying to gather up the books that she had scattered around her before he noticed any more of them.

He wanted to say "I needed to see you." But after last night he wasn't prepared to go out on that limb. He needed to know what happened with Greg. What was happening with them? What was holding her back and why did she need him to wait? And wait for what? And for how long?

But instead he took the chicken's way out. He was too afraid that he'd scare her off. "I needed to do some study and Luke was making it impossible to concentrate at home."

Marissa nodded. She had thought for a moment that he had come to see her but of course that would be stupid, especially after the way that they'd parted last night.

"So you got home okay?" Ryan asked. He really just wanted to know if she had stayed at Greg's. If she had, then he thought that he was going to have to find some way to move on because he couldn't keep doing this to himself. It was masochistic.

Marissa somehow sensed his unspoken question and wanted to reassure him. "Yes. I was safely tucked in bed just a short time later." She said and then looking at the slight frown still evident on his face she realised that her words could have been taken two ways. "My bed. I dropped Greg at his place and went straight home." She added and was rewarded by a look of relief that flooded Ryan's face and almost made her laugh out loud.

"So …" Ryan hesitated. He wanted to ask her out again but he didn't know if his now fragile self-esteem could take another knock back. He looked into her eyes and he was sure that the connection he felt wasn't one sided and so he decided to try yet again. But he promised himself that if she knocked him back, then it would be for the last time. "Would you like to do something tonight? Get something to eat or …" he had no idea really. He'd do anything just as long as he could spend some time with her.

"I can't." she said and then as she took in the disappointment evident on his face she added. "I have to go and collect Molly from the airport after I finish work."

"I could come with you. We could drop her off and then we could go and do something after." He offered. He heard the words and yet he couldn't believe that he had said them. He sounded so desperate and he hated it. He was pathetic. What was this girl doing to him?

"Thanks. But I need to spend some time with her. Her Mom's not well and she's had a really tough time this last week. I just want to be there for her." Marissa explained torn inside between her loyalty to her friend and her attraction to this guy.

Ryan nodded. Now he felt not only pathetic but selfish as well. "Sure." He shrugged. "Maybe some other time." He turned and walked away.

Marissa watched as he moved back towards the lifts and her heart ached.

Why was their timing always so off?

---

Marissa was still feeling miserable when she went to collect Molly from the airport. However, she was looking forward to having someone that she could talk to about everything that had been going on. Maybe Molly would be able to give her some ideas about which way she should proceed now. But she knew that she couldn't just dump it all on her friend. Molly had had a lot to deal with in the last week and would probably have her own problems that she needed help with and Marissa didn't want to be one of those people that tried to make everything about herself. She knew that she was going to have to wait a while until she could unburden herself. And yet when Molly hopped into the car, she was surprisingly upbeat.

"So your Mom's doing well?" Marissa asked.

"Yeah. She's amazing. Everything was textbook apparently. The surgery all went according to plan. And she's positive that she's going to beat this thing. She won't start chemo for a few weeks yet but she already has Dad helping her cook and freeze meals so that they'll have a stockpile for when she isn't feeling too well."

Marissa nodded. It was great to have her best friend back and she couldn't help but smile at Molly's constant chatter. Marissa would swear that her friend could talk underwater. And she'd missed it.

Molly only hesitated for a second and then she was off again. "Depending how things go, I might go back again for a few days then. That is, of course, if my new stand in doesn't mind?" she asked looking at Marissa. "How did things go at the gym? No problems?"

Marissa blushed. "No problems." She replied but couldn't help but think just how much had happened while her friend was away.

"O … kay." Molly said staring at Marissa and trying to make out just what she wasn't saying. "I know that look. Spill." Molly said as she took in the pink hue of Marissa's cheeks.

"No. Really. There were no problems with work." Marissa assured her.

"If not work, then what?" Molly asked. "Something obviously happened. You can't react like that and then tell me nothing. You know that I won't let up until you reveal all."

Marissa gulped. She was so happy to have Molly back and she did want to talk to her and get her advice on everything. But she didn't know where to start.

"Let's just get home and have something to eat and then I'll tell you all about it over ice cream." Marissa suggested.

"Over ice-cream?" Molly asked. "So it's boy trouble?"

"Why would you say that?" Marissa asked smiling. Molly really did know her well. She was sure that given enough time, Molly could probably read her mind.

"Because you and ice-cream spells boy-trouble. I swear that after that Spencer idiot you almost ate the entire west coast's supply."

Marissa smiled. "I wasn't that bad."

Molly raised her eyebrows and Marissa laughed. "Okay so maybe I was. But I promise that this is nothing like that." Marissa assured her.

"But it is about boys?" Molly asked.

"More 'A' boy." Marissa explained thinking that Ryan was definitely not just ANY boy.

"Who?" Molly asked. She couldn't wait until they got home to find out. She had been waiting so long for Marissa to actually find someone and here she'd been away for a week and missed it when it had finally happened.

Marissa said nothing but smiled mischievously.

"Did you do IT?" Molly asked aghast. How could this happen that she'd missed her friend's most important moment.

"NO! I didn't do IT!" Marissa said almost disgustedly. How could her friend think that she would have gotten to that point with a boy in such a short amount of time? She'd only been away a week. And then it hit her that she'd been planning on doing it with a guy that she'd known for less than 12 hours. What had she been thinking? Thank goodness that she hadn't gone through with it.

Molly stared at her and pieces of their conversations over the last week started to fall into place. "GET OUT!!" she said disbelievingly.

"What?" Marissa asked innocently.

"NOT RYAN?" Molly asked almost daring her friend to say yes.

"I didn't say that it was." Marissa teased. "Or wasn't."

Molly studied her friend more closely. "But you're looking very happy with yourself and I know that you were interested in him. Or is there someone else?" she asked dying to get to the bottom of all this.

"Well I did ask someone else out on Saturday night." Marissa explained.

"You? Asked a guy out?" Molly was stunned. Marissa had always been so shy around guys. The thought of her taking that sort of initiative was really a mammoth step. Molly figured that she must have really liked him.

Marissa nodded.

"Who?" Molly asked.

"Greg." Marissa replied.

"Greg who?" Molly asked. She couldn't think of any Greg's that were members of the gym and she'd figured that Marissa must have met him there.

"No idea." Marissa replied realising that they'd never actually exchanged surnames. Looking back, she couldn't believe, that she'd been preparing to sleep with a guy whose name she didn't even know. Thank goodness that it hadn't gotten that far. "I met him at the library." She explained.

Molly was surprised. But then she knew all about Marissa's idea of finding a nerd that was a virgin so she figured that she had finally decided to put her plan in motion. "So how did it go?"

"Awful." Marissa replied. "Actually … it was worse than that."

Molly laughed. It can't have been that bad because Marissa seemed to be in good spirits. Whatever had happened didn't seem to have left any permanent scars. Not like that jerk Spencer. "So this isn't about Ryan at all?" she said more to herself than anyone and then realising that she'd spoken out loud.

"Well Ryan helped me get a drunken Greg into my car." Marissa said and couldn't help but smile knowing that her friend's waning interest was about to be tweaked again.

"So Ryan is involved in all this?" Molly asked starting to feel exasperated.

Marissa nodded.

Molly took a deep cleansing breath. "Okay. Sounds like you'd better stop off at the store on the way home. Looks like we might need some extra ice cream to get to the bottom of all this because there is no way that you are going to sleep until I catch up on all of it."

---

Ryan trailed Luke into the gym on Monday night knowing that Marissa would not be there.

And yet even though he knew that Molly would be back he couldn't stop himself from looking hopefully at the desk … just in case. But, sure enough Molly was sitting in her usual place and Luke couldn't have been happier.

"So you've returned to me?" he asked. "I knew that you wouldn't be able to keep away."

Molly laughed at him. He really was a bit like an adorable big puppy. And after the week that she'd had she had actually been looking forward to Luke and his constant pick up lines. "What can I say? You're charms are hard to resist." She said but was more interested in the quiet guy following behind. "Hey Ryan."

"Hey." He offered up and then swiped his card and picked up his towel. It was obvious that he wasn't in the mood for any light chatter.

"What's wrong with your friend?" Molly asked Luke, indicating Ryan heading off down the corridor towards the weight's room.

"I have no idea. He's been a little weird ever since you've been away, but something big must have happened yesterday and he won't talk about it. He's been like this all day." Luke said.

Molly watched the receding figure and couldn't help but wonder. After hearing Marissa's story last night, she couldn't help but think that Marissa was asking for trouble if she thought that she had any chance with Ryan. But seeing him now, she wasn't so sure.

---

Ryan tried to concentrate on his workout but thoughts of Marissa kept invading his mind. Yesterday had accomplished nothing. Except that he knew that she hadn't slept with Greg and he was thankful for that.

When she'd knocked him back yesterday, he had promised himself that it was for the last time, but he still had no idea, what he was supposed to be waiting for? And he realised that he had no idea of how to get in contact with her, except that she worked at the library on the weekends. And he didn't want to wait that long to see her again.

His only other chance was that Molly might have her number. They were obviously good friends. And so he excused himself to Luke and headed off towards the bathrooms, knowing that he'd drop past the reception area on the way back.

---

Molly was surprised to see Ryan approaching her looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. She couldn't help but compare him to the look that Marissa had worn for most of the day – which was very very similar.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." She replied.

"Um … How's your mother? I gather she hasn't been well." Ryan asked.

"She's coming along. There's a ways to go yet. But … thanks for asking." Molly replied.

"Sure." Ryan shrugged and was about to move off, not sure that he wanted to get into this, and then he hesitated and said. "Look. I don't know what Marissa told you. Maybe she didn't tell you anything at all." Ryan said realising that in truth what they had to show for their 'relationship' was 1 cup of coffee – hardly a relationship at all – why would he even think that Marissa may have spoken to Molly about him. "Sorry – I guess that's its got nothing to do with you."

Molly was amazed by the change in Ryan – this wasn't the college 'player' that she knew. "You may have come up in the conversation." Molly said and was rewarded by Ryan's head shooting up as his interest was tweaked.

"I did?" he asked.

Molly considered what she should say. She knew that her friend had it bad for this guy but last night Molly had stuck to her guns in advising Marissa that she didn't think that Ryan was the guy for her. She didn't want to see Marissa hurt again. Marissa may appear confident but when it came to the opposite sex she was very fragile … and with good reason. But now seeing Ryan and the state he was in, she was starting to have second thoughts. And so she nodded.

Ryan waited for her to say more but he could see that she was having a silent battle with herself. She probably didn't want to betray Marissa's confidence. "Okay … so I guess that you're not going to share with me but could you at least tell me how to get in contact with her?" he asked.

"Why?" Molly asked trying to read what was going on in Ryan's head and wondering about the depth of his feelings for her friend.

"Because I need to talk to her." Ryan explained simply.

Molly was teetering but she thought she'd have one last go. "Maybe you should just leave her alone."

Ryan was gutted. "Is that what she wants me to do?"

Molly was surprised by the pain that she could see in his eyes at the mere thought that Marissa might not want to see him. She was starting to think that she had totally misread this whole thing. Maybe Ryan was just what Marissa needed … but Molly wasn't sure until Ryan went on.

"Don't you think that I'd like to move on and pretend that I'd never met her? I've been a mess ever since I laid eyes on her." He said thinking back to his numerous visits to the gym and his stalking activities. "But I've tried to stop thinking about her and I can't. There is just something about her. She's not like other girls. But I don't understand her, one minute I think that we have a connection and are getting closer and the next she's pushing me away but at the same time asking me to wait for her." He explained. "I don't know what to do?" He said running his hand through his hair in frustration. "Maybe it's all one sided." He said hoping for some advice and then realising just what effect this girl had had on him. Who would have ever thought that he'd be looking for advice from a relative stranger?

Molly couldn't help but be touched Ryan's words. "I can assure you that it's not one sided. But Marissa has some 'issues' that she feels she needs to address before she can be free to date you and that's why she has been pushing you away."

"Well what are they? Maybe I can help?" Ryan suggested. "Anything to get past this …" he looked for the right word. "roadblock?" he offered.

Molly sighed. There was a part of her that couldn't believe that she was doing this but she really thought that he was genuine. It was obvious that Marissa wasn't just another girl in his long list. She started to write on a piece of paper and Ryan wondered what she was doing. When she'd finished she handed it to him and said. "Maybe you can help. You might be just what she needs. But please don't disappoint me because I will never forgive you."

"I don't understand." Ryan said taking the slip of paper from her.

"This is my address." Molly explained.

Ryan looked at her puzzled. Did this mean that Molly wanted to talk more about it after work or what? "I was hoping to see Marissa." He explained. He appreciated Molly's help but he really thought that he and Marissa were the ones that needed to work it out.

Molly laughed. "She's my room mate."

"Oh." Ryan said and instantly clutched the small piece of paper as if it was a life line.

"She's at home right now. Go there and tell her that I sent you and that I've changed my mind and that I think that you are just the right guy to help her with her problem."

"I don't know how to thank you." Ryan said fishing the car keys from his track suit pocket. "I'll just have to drop Luke home and …"

"No. I'll do that. If you go back in there, then he's going to ask too many questions. He can wait until I finish and I'll drop him home. It will make his day." She added laughing. "You just make sure that you look after my friend."

Ryan smiled and his face was one of pure joy. "I will."

From the look on his face, Molly knew that she'd done the right thing. But as Ryan moved towards the door she stopped him. "I should be home around 11 so if you could just keep the noise down after that, I'd appreciate it. I really need to get some sleep."

"Okay." Ryan said now even more puzzled. What exactly was this problem of Marissa's if fixing it was going to make noise?

He didn't really care. As long as he was going to see her … that was all that mattered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9** ---

Ryan stood nervously in the hallway outside Marissa's door. He wondered if he shouldn't have gone home first and showered and changed but he'd sensed that Molly seemed to think that he should come straight away and in truth he couldn't wait to see Marissa. Hopefully she'd be as eager to see him as he was to see her.

But he was scared that she would push him away again so he didn't want to get his hopes up.

But Molly had said that it wasn't all one-sided … so that had to be good.

He knew that there was no point in standing there talking to himself and so he raised his hand and knocked lightly on the door.

---

Ever since Molly had left for work at the gym, Marissa had been restless. Even more restless than usual. It didn't seem to matter what she did, everything reminded her of Ryan. She couldn't get him out of her mind.

She'd thought yesterday morning that she'd made the right decision. That Ryan would be the one. And that was why she'd resorted to trying to glean as much information as possible from the books – because she didn't think that she could do it with anyone else but him and she wanted to be as prepared as she could be for when the time came.

But then Molly had come home and after Marissa had told her about everything that had happened, Molly had just reiterated that she didn't think that Marissa was ready for someone like Ryan. That she would only be setting herself up for a fall.

And so Marissa had tried to put him out of her mind. But it seemed that wasn't possible for her. Of course, she knew that it didn't help that she was wearing his t-shirt again. But she couldn't help herself. She wanted to feel close to him and this would probably be as close as she would ever get.

She'd tried to lose her self in a movie on the television but of course it was a romance that only served to make her think about him even more.

Having turned off the television she'd was now curled up on the couch trying to read but she couldn't concentrate. She'd picked a murder mystery out, knowing that anything light wouldn't do because her mind would just stray back to Ryan again. But it didn't seem to matter. She'd read the same page about 10 times and all she could think of was him.

She was just beginning to think that she needed more ice cream – they'd eaten everything they had last night. But if she were to go to the store for more then she'd have to get changed … and that meant taking off Ryan's shirt … and she didn't want to do that, when she heard the knock at the door.

---

Marissa opened the door and was completely dumbfounded.

"Hey." Ryan said, trying to gauge whether the look on her face was one of pleasure at seeing him or not. But in truth, it seemed that she was just in shock.

"You're at my door." Marissa said wondering for a moment if this was real or whether she had conjured him up in her mind because she had been thinking about him so much. Maybe he was just a figment of her imagination.

"Yeah. I hope that's all right?" he asked nervously, still not sure if she was actually happy to see him or not.

"Um. Yeah." Marissa said and then came to her senses as she watched a couple of girls walk passed down the corridor who were obviously very interested in what was going on between them. "Do you want to come in?" she asked standing to one side and holding the door further ajar.

"Is that okay?" he asked. He didn't want to do anything that would have her running for cover again. But then he realised that she was already home – she had no where to run.

"Sure." She said and then as he made his way into the small lounge room and she closed the door behind him, she looked down and realised that she was wearing his t-shirt and she started to blush. "I … um … I … ah … did you want your t-shirt back?" she asked embarrassed. What would he think of her? He'd lent it to her 2 days ago to get her out of a jam and here she was still wearing it.

Ryan watched as her cheeks reddened. And his weren't doing much better. He could just imagine saying yes and having her strip on the spot for him. Ever since he'd gotten a glimpse of her perfect breasts on Saturday night, he'd been able to think of little else than the possibility of finding an opportunity for another look. But he knew that they had to take this slowly. "No. Keep it. It looks much better on you." He said.

She flushed even redder at his compliment. "Thanks. It's just comfortable." She offered up as explanation.

Ryan nodded looking around and wondering what 'the problem' was that she needed help with.

"Um. If you're not here for your shirt … then what are you doing here? And how did you even know where I live?" Marissa asked perplexed.

"Molly told me." Ryan explained.

Marissa was surprised. Molly had been quite definite last night that Marissa should stay well away from Ryan. Why would she give him her address?

"And she told me, to tell you, that she'd changed her mind and she thought that I was the right person to help you with what ever it is that you need help with?"

Marissa was now even more surprised. "So she didn't actually tell what that was?" Marissa asked.

"No. But Marissa I don't care. Whatever it is … I'm in. If it means that you will finally be free to go out with me then I'll do anything. Just ask it." Ryan said.

Marissa could barely believe her ears. Was this really happening?

"Molly really thought that you were the right person for the job?" Marissa asked and she could feel the tingles starting in her body at the thought that she could finally be with him.

Ryan nodded. "That's what she said. So what is it that you need me to do?"

Marissa took a step towards him and Ryan wondered if he should step back but he was already up against a counter. He was trying to read the look in her eye but he'd never seen her look at him like that before. He knew that his breathing was becoming laboured but her proximity and the silence between them was making the atmosphere between them charged. He couldn't bring himself to look away.

She looked at him again and knew that this was the opportunity that she'd been waiting for …. Plus the fact was … she wanted him in every way. The feeling was new to her but undeniable. But she had to do this quickly before she chickened out and so she closed the remaining gap between them in a rush and brought her lips to his.

---

As their lips met, Ryan was filled with a completely foreign sensation. There was a joy that permeated his entire body that he'd never felt before and yet he still had no idea why this was happening. This wasn't at all what he'd expected. He returned the kiss sweetly but as she moved to deepen it, he hesitated and pulled back. "Wh … What's going on?"

Marissa wondered for a moment if she'd misread his interest. Perhaps he didn't want this? Maybe he didn't want her like that? "Don't …" she hung her head not wanting to let him see just what it would do to her if he rejected her. "Don't you want to?" she asked.

Ryan laughed incredulously and raised his hand to her chin to gently tilt her head so that he could look into her eyes as her reassured her. "Of course I want to. I've wanted to since the moment I laid eyes on you."

Marissa laughed. Knowing that he wanted her was the best feeling in the world. "Then why don't you just shut up and kiss me?"

Ryan didn't need to be asked twice. Smiling at her, he gently moved his hand to the side of her face and Marissa melted. It was the softest of caresses and told her without words that he thought that she was special. But this time when she looked in to his eyes they had deepened and the controlled lust was evident there as his lips found hers again.

Their tongues danced together as they tasted each other. Twisting and twirling, their tongues exploring, his lips on hers, sucking, yielding, plundering … neither could get enough … The passion flaring between them as they discovered a mutual need.

They stayed in the same place not wanting to break the spell for several minutes but soon the joining of their mouths was not enough. Ryan had pulled Marissa into his arms and his hands had begun their own exploration. She felt perfect to him in every way.

Marissa could feel herself going week at the knees and slowly moved towards the couch, pulling Ryan with her until they collapsed down onto it while their lips parted for barely a moment and then they were back fused together once again. The exploration continued. Their mouths connected, their hands roaming free, discovering places, awakening feelings.

Marissa wasn't sure how it happened, but she was now on her back with Ryan nestled in the cradle of her hips and nothing had ever felt so right. She could feel his arousal pressing against her and she felt her hips give an involuntary buck as she welcomed the feelings that he was evoking.

Ryan took her reaction as a silent invitation and moved his hand to the hem of the shirt that she was wearing and ran his hand up underneath the shirt finally coming in contact with her bare skin and he couldn't help but give off an involuntary shudder. Her skin was so soft. He knew that he could drown in her. He moved to push the shirt even higher wanting to feel her perfect breasts that he had been dreaming about since Saturday night when Marissa placed her hand on his … stilling its progress and Ryan was instantly mortified that he had somehow over stepped some boundary and spoilt things.

He dropped his face to her shoulder and was silently berating himself for going too far too fast until he head Marissa say to him. "I think perhaps that we should move this to my bedroom. We'll be more comfortable plus … Molly will be home in a while and I don't fancy an audience."

Ryan pulled back to look in to her face. He was scared that he was dreaming all this. When he'd confirmed that it was really happening he stood up and before she could move to join him, he picked her up off the couch and looking at the open door ways in front of him he asked "Which one?"

"The one on the right," Marissa replied coyly.

Ryan placed her gently on the bed and then quickly locked the door before joining her back on the bed. His hand almost instantly went back where it had left off inside her shirt, this time gently cupping her breast and as he softly kneaded it his lips found hers yet again.

Marissa couldn't believe the feelings that where washing over her body. She may have known Ryan only a week but it seemed like she had been waiting for this her whole life. She wanted to be closer to him. Breaking contact with his mouth for a moment, her breaths coming in large gasps, she asked. "Are you sure that you don't want your t-shirt back?"

Ryan smiled in response. "Maybe I have changed my mind about that. But I'll make you a deal. If you give it to me right now, just for a while, then I promise you can keep it."

"That sounds like a fair deal." she said as she started to remove it and with Ryan's assistance it was off and thrown on the floor within moments. Ryan gazed at her. She was perfect. He moved his mouth to one nipple wanting to taste and suckle it while using his hand on the other. Then he changed sides, not rushing things but taking his time bringing them to their ultimate sensitivity. They were everything that he had been dreaming of and as he continued with his attentions, Marissa could feel the direct connection between them and the intense sensations threatening to peak between her legs. This was all so new to her. And yet it seemed all so right.

She gulped as she realised that she wanted to feel more of him … see more of him and so she moved her hands to the bottom of his shirt and started to pull it off. Ryan hesitated for a moment as he realised what she was doing and quickly pulled the offending shirt off and then he moved on top of her, gliding his chest over hers. The delicious friction sending off even more sparks between them.

Their lips reconnected and Marissa gave herself up to the delicious feelings that were taking over her body. She was like putty in his hands.

Ryan was grinding his hardness into her and she was sure that she could see stars. She was trying to remember what she'd read in the books yesterday but nothing had prepared her for this. Her hips bucked upwards as her body's natural response took over, wanting to connect with him.

Ryan smiled as he felt her movement. He rolled to one side and as his mouth continued to plunder her sweetness; his hand reacquainted itself with her breast.

After several minutes, Ryan's lips then left her mouth and moved down her neck, stopping at the pulse points for extra attention and then moving lower; over her collar bones, moving from side to side, not wanting any portion of her to feel left out. The breasts called for extra attention and then once he had them is a state of peak excitement, he moved lower still. When he got to the top of her pyjama pants he hesitated for a moment waiting for any sign from her and when none came, he gently pulled them off; the thong that she'd been wearing going with them to join the heap of discarded clothing now on the floor. Marissa knew that she should be embarrassed but her body was the master and it had given itself to Ryan completely.

Marissa was totally naked. She was amazed that she wasn't nervous. Ryan glanced up at her and the look in Ryan's eyes removed any doubt she had left. He wanted her. She wanted him. This was right.

She lifted her hips to him, subconsciously opening her legs wider and Ryan took the invitation that she offered bending his head to willingly taste her. She was everything that he'd ever hoped for and he intended to take his time bringing her to the point of no return and beyond.

Marissa writhed on the bed clutching at the sheets. She couldn't believe what was happening to her. No one had ever done this to her before and she had always thought that she'd be way too embarrassed to ever let them.

But somehow or other Ryan had changed all that. She knew that her hips were bucking, and her legs were trembling at the new sensations that were flooding her body. She had lost all control, and yet still Ryan's head remained between her legs, his fingers inside her, his tongue eliciting the most delicious responses from every nerve in her body, that were all concentrated on the spot where he was administrating his attentions until she went past a point where her brain ceased to function as her body spasmed and the fire works erupted. She collapsed on to the pillow panting as the waves of pleasure washed over her and it was several minutes before she regained the power of speech.

Ryan pulled him self up to lie on the pillow beside her, watching her as she came back down to earth. He felt slightly amused by the quickness of her arousal but above all he was pleased that she'd felt relaxed enough to really enjoy the ride. He knew from experience that often the first time with a new partner proved too overwhelming, that sometimes a girl became overly uptight about what she was doing and how she looked to really enjoy oral but Marissa was a natural. He loved the way she had given herself over to the feelings so completely.

Marissa looked over at him, the smile still on her face. She knew that was only the appetiser … the main event was still to come. "I think that you are a little over dressed." She said indicating Ryan still in his sweat pants.

"I think that I can fix that." Ryan said quickly removing the offending garments glad to finally be rid of them.

Marissa glanced down between his legs and was stunned. She was sure that it was twice the size of Spencer's. Okay, maybe twice as large was an exaggeration but he was hard, so very hard and he was certainly much thicker than Spencer had been. She swallowed with nerves. His dick rose in a perfect line towards the faint sprinkling of down that crept towards his belly button and it looked vaguely threatening to her with its very maleness. She felt herself staring at it and wondering how she was ever going to fit that inside her? She started to have some misgivings and yet she knew that this time she had to go through with it. There would never be a better opportunity. And after what he just did to her, she owed it to him. Plus from what just happened it was obvious that Ryan would know exactly what he was doing. And he'd be patient with her. She trusted him. He would make it right.

She moved slightly towards him but wanting him to take the lead. She had no idea how this should go.

Ryan wanted her so badly. He was glad that she'd suggested him taking off his clothes because he'd been scared that he might actually come in his pants he was so turned on by the way Marissa had reacted to his tongue, giving herself up to him so completely. He smiled to himself. It certainly appeared that Marissa wasn't the only one who was getting into the zone a little too quickly. He willed himself to be calm by taking several deep breaths because he had no intention of suffering the all too embarrassing fate of a surprise premature ejaculation, which thankfully hadn't happened since watching porn in early puberty. It was not going to happen again!

He took her back into his arms, their mouths colliding as their tongues got reacquainted. He tasted different but then Marissa realised that what she could taste was herself and it was a strange realisation. One that she wasn't sure what to do with.

But she didn't have long to contemplate it as Ryan moved his hand lower over her body pulling her closely to him and leaving a trail of excitement until he reached his intended destination and slipped a finger in to check if she was ready to go again.

Marissa was surprised that her body was so willingly allowing him to do what ever he wanted. She felt that she was merely an interested bystander in this little game. She had no control. And yet somewhere through the delicious feelings she heard herself ask. "Do you have … something?"

Ryan nodded and quickly removed a condom from his wallet and handed it to her. "Do you want to do the honours?"

Marissa was surprised. She was positive that at any other time in her life she would have said no and run away. But this was Ryan. He was the man of her fantasies. And she wanted to know him. All of him. In every way.

But then she realised that if she tried to do it, she would probably fumble and Ryan might realise just what a novice she was at all this and so she said. "Thanks. But I like to watch" as saucily as she could, hoping that her naivety wasn't too obvious.

Ryan smiled. She really was a little minx. He quickly sheathed himself and then moved on top of her. She knew that this was it. It was finally going to happen. She could feel Ryan's hips settle into the cradle offered by her own and his dick was poised to enter her. He was teasing her, the tip of his dick just edging closer and closer, stretching her ever so gently as he held himself in check as his tongue plundered her mouth yet again, mimicking with his tongue in her mouth, the invasion that his dick was about to duplicate inside her.

Marissa was dying with the expectation. She knew it was huge. She knew it was going to hurt. But she just wanted it to be over.

Ryan knew that he couldn't wait much longer and yet as he positioned himself to plunge into her he sensed some hesitation in Marissa. The responsive woman had gone and she seemed to have been replaced by a submissive one. He pulled back ever so slightly wanting to see the look in her eyes and wondering what had happened and he was stunned to see a grimace on her face as if she was in pain.

He instantly stopped what he had been about to do and said. "What is it? What's wrong? Am I hurting you?" as he went to move off her, only to have Marissa pull him back to his previous position.

"Please. Just do it." She pleaded.

He looked at her again and could see the tears forming in her eyes. "What do you mean 'just do it' … I don't understand. Am I hurting you?" he asked again. He knew from previous experience that he was well endowed. But most girls as long as they were ready, and he took it slowly, seemed to like that.

Marissa bucked her hips trying to get him to proceed with what he had been about to do. How could her treacherous body have let her down at this point? "Not yet." She whispered softly, not wanting to talk about it.

"What do you mean? Do you expect me to? I would never hurt you." He reassured her. "If you're not ready for this then just say. I know that I probably seem like I'm in a bit of a rush but that's just the sort of effect you have on me. I just want you so much. But we can take our time. We can go at whatever pace you want."

Marissa felt terrible. Now he was questioning himself when it was all her fault. She couldn't let him do that. "Please just go ahead. I know that it hurts."

Ryan stopped completely and moved off her. "What do you mean it hurts? It shouldn't hurt. Not if you're ready."

"I'm ready. Okay. But it is going to hurt and there's nothing that you can do about it."

"I don't understand." Ryan said.

Marissa looked at him, her look pleading for understanding. "It always hurts the first time. They say it does." She said shyly, embarrassed that they were even having this conversation. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen.

Ryan was stunned. "You mean …. you're a virgin?" he asked as the reality set in.

Marissa nodded. "I know … I'm some sort of freak aren't I?" she said hanging her head and not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. "That's the problem I've got that I want help with." She explained and laughed nervously waiting for his reaction.

Ryan took a moment to collect his senses, many of which where still concentrated in the enormous hard on that this news had still failed to lessen. It seemed that certain parts of him were definitely not interested in this new and interesting fact. "But how? I mean you're so goddam hot. Have you been locked in a convent or something?" he asked trying to lighten the mood.

Marissa looked at him and she felt her heart melt. He was trying to make fun of it. But not fun of her. "No. Would you believe that I've just never found the right guy?" she said timidly and then looked at him and continued. "And I have been trying to get rid of it. I even made a New Year's resolution to be rid of it before my birthday. I'm sick of being the last living virgin on campus. Who would want anything to do with a freak like me? I knew that you were way out of my league and that's why …"

She was cut off by Ryan's lips as he kissed her passionately. "You are not out of my league. In fact if anything, I feel that I will never be able to be worthy of you."

"You say that and yet you won't help. Why wouldn't you just finish off what you were doing and then it would have been all over?"

"I assure you that I intend to ... but not because you are looking to lose your virginity to just anyone. I want to make love to you … more than anything in this world right now. But when it happens I want you to be making love to me not just having sex to get rid of some perceived problem that you've got. You've held on to it all this time for a reason. And you're not going to throw it away now."

"So what are you saying?" Marissa asked.

"I'm saying that I definitely want to. But just not yet. I don't want to just be the guy that fixed you 'problem'. I want it to mean more to you than that."

"But I want to do it and I want it to be with you." Marissa said.

"If you really feel that way then it won't hurt us to wait a while. Maybe go on a date or two?" Ryan suggested.

"Can we do it before my Birthday?" Marissa asked.

"When's your birthday?"

"June 3rd." Marissa thought for a moment. "Sunday week, so 13 days away."

Ryan smiled. "Well we might have to fit a bit into the next 13 days but I think that it's a distinct possibility." He sat up on the side of the bed. "But for right now, would you mind if I had a shower? I think that a cold one might just come in handy about now he said looking down at his still engorged dick. His brain may have accepted that it wasn't happening tonight but the message certainly hadn't reached all parts of his body.

"Sure." Marissa said as she watched a very naked Ryan leave the room. The next couple of weeks were certainly going to be interesting.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Marissa lay in bed for a few minutes after Ryan had left for the bathroom and she couldn't help but smile. Her body was still in some strange lethargic state that she wasn't used to and sure they hadn't done the deed, but Ryan had said that he would do it. 'It' would happen. And he was in her shower. He knew that she was a virgin and he hadn't run away. He also hadn't just gone ahead and fucked her like a lot of guys would have in the same situation. In fact, he'd been more than gallant and said that they were going to spend a lot of time together. Get to know one another. She felt so happy. She couldn't wait.

She listened to the sound of the shower curtain being pulled across and she knew that Ryan must now be under the cold water and she felt bad for the state that she'd left him in. Right now he was probably sorting out his own 'problem', one that she'd caused and one thing she knew for sure … she wanted to help him. She wasn't exactly sure how she could best do that … but she figured that maybe he'd be able to tell her and so she made her way to the bathroom and peaked around the shower curtain. Ryan had his back to her and she couldn't help but admire every single part of him. He was perfect. The water running over him only served to increase his attraction. He turned around still with his head under the spray and his eyes firmly closed and Marissa's interest became even more intense. She wanted to run her hands over him again. She wanted to explore his body. She couldn't help but focus on that part of him that she'd been responsible for getting into such a state. She was itching to touch him but afraid to do so at the same time when he said. "Enjoying the view?" and she jumped. She hadn't realised that he'd moved his head out of the stream of water and opened his eyes.

She nodded. "Can I come in?" she asked.

Ryan smiled playfully. "It's your shower. You can do whatever you like." He informed her.

Marissa stepped into the bath and moved towards the end where Ryan stood under the stream of water and into his arms. He lowered the showerhead so it streamed down their backs, away from their faces so they could kiss without spluttering or drowning. She could feel his hardness pressing firmly against her stomach and she pushed herself into him. He groaned and pulled away slightly.

Okay, maybe this hadn't been the best idea Ryan thought. He was supposed to be taking this slow, he was in the shower to try and cool down but Marissa's nakedness was driving him crazy again and it ignited the previous spark he'd felt. Damn.

"You're not helping matters Marissa." He said. "I'm trying very hard to be a gentleman here."

"Maybe I don't want you be one." Marissa replied.

Ryan grinned at her.

"Maybe I could help out?" She looked pointedly at his very obvious erection. "But I'm not really sure how?"

Ryan swallowed thickly and said. "Feel free to do whatever you feel comfortable with."

Again he was being so unlike she imagined. He wasn't pleading with her like boys had done in the past, he was letting her decide what she felt comfortable with and it was so refreshing. He was letting her explore at her own pace.

Marissa bit her lip and reached a tentative hand between them. She could do this. There was no doubt that she wanted to do this. She wrapped a hand around him and slowly moved it up and down his length. The skin felt so warm to the touch in direct contrast to the cool water that rained down on them. She listened as he gave her hints as to what he liked. He wanted her to be firmer with her grip. No she wasn't going to hurt him. He let her know what felt good very vocally and it made her heart sing to know that she was making him feel that way.

Ryan kissed her deeply as he pushed himself into her fist. Her almost hesitant fawnlike ministrations were such a turn on. Most girls he'd been with were very practiced in the skills of making a man feel good but Marissa was taking him to previously unknown heights. It was refreshing to be with someone who almost appeared pure and the thrill of being with someone who wanted to learn about pleasuring was a first. He whispered into her ear that she could dictate the pace. This was all down to her. He told her that by a subtle change in her stroking speed she could have him begging for more or screaming her name. Ryan was pleased to find that she was an excellent pupil.

Marissa loved the way he was whispering to her as he nibbled on her ears and neck. His voice was low and gravely, it made her knees weak to listen to it. She found that he was right. By slowing her pace he grew impatient and pleaded with her and if she sped her pace up he'd buck into her fist and moan that he was going to come. She played the game, bringing him close then slowing down enjoying the power it gave her and the way that Ryan reacted.

Ryan panted with exhaustion. He felt that if it hadn't have been for the water then he'd be wet with his own sweat. Marissa was a quick learner all right. Already she had mastered the hand job to perfection, maybe a little too much on reflection. He desperately wanted release now but just as he felt the pull deep within his balls she'd agonizingly slow the pace again.

"Please Marissa." He begged. He wasn't proud. He knew when begging was in order.

The tone of Ryan's voice as he begged set her own desires throbbing. She stroked and squeezed harder again this time not slowing or stopping. Ryan groaned and swore under his breath. He lent his head backwards into the shower curtain as he jerked erratically into her fist. She watched with fascination as he came in several long spurts and then the water cleansed and washed away the results.

Ryan stood as still as stone whilst he got his breath back. She still held him in her hand enjoying the feel now he was softening and spent. It wasn't so scary now that she knew that she could be in control.

He lent forward and kissed her. This time without the passion of before but it was none the less sweet.

Marissa looked at him almost shyly and asked. "What do we do now?"

Ryan smiled. "Right now … I'll do pretty much anything you say since what you're holding in your hand is fairly important to me."

Marissa dropped it suddenly. "Sorry." She looked at him embarrassed but seeing the amusement in his eyes she couldn't help but add. "It's just that I don't have one of those and I've always wondered what they were like."

Ryan laughed out loud. "Well please feel free to borrow mine whenever you're so inclined."

"I might just do that." Marissa replied and then shivered.

"Come on. Let's get out of here and warm up." Ryan suggested as he turned off the taps and pulled back the curtain only to reveal the floor of the bathroom awash with water. Somehow they had managed to dislodge the shower curtain and had flooded the room.

"Oops." Marissa said as she stepped on to the saturated bath mat and reached for her towel. She turned to Ryan "Do you feel like sharing or do you want to wait and I'll get you a clean one from the cupboard outside?"

"I'm happy to share if you are?" he replied, the look in his eyes telling her that he was referring to more than just towels.

Marissa smiled. "As long as I get first use." She said quickly running the towel over her and then holding it out to him. "You're welcome to it when it's cold and damp." She teased.

"You wait young lady." Ryan said as he quickly took the towel from her and leapt from the shower after her. He chased her back into her bedroom without even hesitating to dry himself. Marissa had tripped on their hastily discarded clothes and was now sprawled on the bed and Ryan instantly laid on top of her proceeding to rub his still damp body over hers, intending to make her regret her actions as he made her wet.

However it took only moments for the movements to become sexually charged again. The increased heat in their bodies served to banish any residual moisture left by the shower almost instantly.

Marissa knew that she was becoming wet all right … but on the inside not the outside. The friction caused by his naked body on hers awakening new desires. Her breathing started to become laboured as she waited for him to make a move.

Ryan could feel his need for her rising yet again and he knew that if they were going to take things slowly then this was not a good position to be in.

But then his dick was telling him that it was a great position to be in. Having already recovered from the bathroom activities it was zeroing in on its target, the heat between her legs now only millimetres away. The question was whether his brain or his dick would win out? There was a fight for control and he wasn't really sure which side he was on. There was a part of him that appreciated that Marissa was naked underneath him and she wanted him to take her and was it right for him to deny her? But then he knew that he didn't want this just to be about the act of doing it. He wanted to make sure that she wanted HIM. Not just any guy with a willing dick. (Oh but god was his willing!)

He groaned momentarily, then slowly rolled off her and sat up, reaching for his pants in the same movement. He glanced back at her and could see the disappointment written on her face. He tried to smile but it was more of a grimace. "If we're taking it slow, then I think that it's probably safer if I do it with my clothes on." He looked at her again, lying naked on her bed and he wondered where he had found the strength to say no. "And, much as I can't believe that I'm saying this … it would probably be better if you had clothes on to." He said as he picked up his shirt that she'd been wearing and handed it to her.

"But you aren't running away because I'm a virgin? You are still going to do it? You're not just going to leave?" Marissa asked as she pulled his t-shirt over her head. Her doe like eyes were full of insecurities.

Ryan had no idea what had happened in Marissa's past to make her like this but he knew that he wanted to change it. He instantly realised just how fragile and insecure she was and he pulled her into his arms. "Well I am going to leave. But that's only because I don't think that I could trust myself to keep my hands off you if I stayed." He kissed her sweetly and was rewarded by Marissa's face lighting up with joy.

"But I will definitely be back. I figure that what we've just had was our first lesson and there's plenty more to come." He assured her.

Marissa smiled. She liked the idea of Ryan as her tutor in all things sexual. "So … If I'm your student … and I get homework … and I don't have one of those things to practise with …. Then you'll HAVE to come visit? You did say that I could borrow it." Marissa asked looking for confirmation of just what was going on between them.

Ryan laughed. "You are SOME student." he remarked.

"I try to do my best." Marissa replied pertly.

Ryan kissed her again. "That little effort in there." He said indicating the bathroom "was definitely an A+."

Marissa couldn't help but smile at his praise. "So when's my next lesson?"

"Eager? Aren't we?" Ryan remarked.

"Well if you don't want to …. I could always ask someone else to help with my education …" Marissa suggested, teasing him.

"You'll do no such thing. But I think that we should at least try an activity with clothes on next time."

"What are you saying that you don't enjoy this?" she asked.

"I enjoyed it very much. But if you keep looking at me like that then I might have to skip a few lessons and move ahead to the advanced class."

"That's what I was hoping that you'd say." She teased.

Ryan laughed. "If I don't get out of her fast then I'm scared that you may end up having your way with me. My control can only last so long."

"As long as it doesn't last anymore than 13 days then you're my man." Marissa replied.

"At the moment the chance of me lasting 13 days isn't looking very good and if I don't get out of here soon then even 13 hours might be a struggle."

Marissa beamed. The thought that he was still attracted to her even though he now knew that she was a virgin and a complete novice in all things sexual, was empowering.

"But if we meet in public places and fully dressed then at least I might have a fighting chance." Ryan suggested.

"You do realise that I'm going to try to seduce you at every opportunity? I have no idea how to of course, but I do have Molly to ask for pointers." Marissa suggested.

"You don't need Molly. And you don't need to try. I'm yours for the asking. But you are going to have to explain to me sometime why you've been pushing me away if you were so eager to lose it? That I don't understand." Ryan said.

Marissa frowned slightly wondering how she could explain it all to him. It wasn't that she'd thought that he wasn't good enough … more that she thought he was too good. But just at this moment it didn't make any sense to her either so she didn't think that she was ready for the explanation just yet.

"And having you seduce me … that does sound like fun. It should make for quite a change from the last week where you seem to have been running away. I can hardly wait." He said as he kissed her again. "But let's start with lunch tomorrow and see where that leads?" he suggested.

"Mmm. Lunch sounds good." She replied and then deliberately dropped her voice to a husky tone. "But breakfast in bed sounds even better."

Ryan laughed at her attempted coquettishness. "It does sound good and I promise that we will share one of those but not tomorrow." He moved towards the door and Marissa moved to stand in front of him playfully barring his way.

Ryan cupped her head gently in his hand, and then delicately rubbed his thumb over her mouth tracing the outline of her lips. Marissa's tongue emerged to taste him and he removed his thumb and replaced it with his lips. Tasting her at first until his tongue softly but firmly made its way inside her mouth exploring ever nuance until she was sure that he would know it better than his own and then he gently pulled back and touched his forehead to hers. "Outside the library at noon?"

Marissa couldn't speak. She could barely even stand. Her legs were like jelly. She nodded as he reached for the door knob to let himself out.

---

Marissa was still standing where Ryan left her when Molly walked in the door only moments later.

"Are you still talking to me?" Molly asked hesitantly, as she looked at Marissa not quite knowing what sort of reaction to expect. She'd been worried all night about whether she'd done the right thing by giving Ryan their address, to the point that when she'd finished work she'd been torn, not knowing whether she should stay away for a while hoping that things were going well or rush home in case they weren't. And then when she saw him leaving the building just as she was parking her car, she became even more concerned.

If things had gone according to plan then surely he shouldn't be leaving? He would have stayed the night. What if he wasn't the right guy to help? What if he'd hurt Marissa again? She knew that her friend had barely recovered from the Spencer debacle. She'd never forgive herself if she'd made the whole thing happen once again.

But looking at Marissa standing by the door in a seemingly trance like dream state she had no idea what had happened.

"Earth to Marissa. Are you with me?" Molly asked trying to get a response from her friend.

Marissa still hadn't moved but a leisurely smile slowly appeared on her face.

Molly watched and then breathed a sigh of relief. "So everything's okay?" she asked, still not sure of what had gone on.

Marissa nodded the smile now so large it seemed that it was threatening to take over her whole face.

Molly watched and had to laugh. She asked teasingly. "Is that a post orgasmic glow that you're wearing?" she asked trying to keep a straight face as she realised that Marissa was wearing Ryan's t-shirt but nothing else.

Marissa looked at her and hesitated and then nodded.

"So you finally did it?" she said. "I can't believe that it's finally happened. And he got you off first time? What a guy. I can tell you now that the first few times that I did it were terrible. I haven't wanted to share that with you before this, because I was scared that it might put you off the whole thing all together. But I can tell you now; it was over so quickly, that I wasn't even sure that it had started. Talk about wham, bam, thank you mam? They couldn't have cared less about how I was feeling as long as they got their rocks off. But it looks like he was definitely a good choice. Goddam it! An orgasm the first time. The boy obviously used his powers of experience for 'Good and not Evil'." She laughed.

Marissa let her friend chatter on for a while looking for an opportunity to set her straight. But it wasn't easy. Once Molly had a head of steam up it was difficult to get a word in.

"So obviously it was good?" Molly said rhetorically. "Tell me what happened? How did you do it? More importantly, where did you do it?" she asked and then quickly looked around the room for possible locations.

Marissa knew that she had to jump in now before things got totally out of hand. "We didn't do 'IT'." She said, using her fingers as quotation marks to emphasise the IT.

Molly looked back at her and frowned. "What do you mean, you didn't do it? You just admitted that you'd ….." Molly hesitated as realisation set in. "Do you mean ……. He ….." she regrouped. "You DID orgasm?"

Marissa nodded as she said. "Oh yeah."

"But you're still a virgin?" Molly asked for clarification.

"Unfortunately yes." Marissa said.

Molly's eyes grew wide. "You mean he got you off just fingering you?"

Marissa shook her head from side to side. "No. Not exactly."

"Tell me you weren't fingering yourself?" Molly said now almost in denial about what everything was pointing to.

Marissa laughed. "Do you really think that I'd play with myself when I had Ryan's naked body to play with?"

Molly thought for a moment. "Hmm. Naked hey? Good point. So then that only leaves one possibility."

Marissa smiled and could feel herself start to blush as memories of Ryan's head buried between her legs came back to her.

"He went down on you?" Molly asked incredulously.

"Oh yeah." Marissa said. She could feel her ears burning with embarrassment but she knew that there was no way that Molly was going to give up until she knew what had happened.

"But he didn't fuck you?" Molly asked.

Marissa shook her head. "No. He wants to wait."

"He wants to WAIT? **HE** wants to wait?" she corrected herself. "Well fuck me dead!!" Molly said. "If you hadn't told me your self then I never would have believed it." She shook her head still having trouble coming to terms with this new information. "You do realise that his reputation as a player has just taken a serious nose dive."

Marissa smiled. No one but Molly could have quite the same way of looking at things.

"What's he waiting for?" Molly asked.

"He wants us to get to know one another." Marissa said and then on seeing Molly still shaking her head in disbelief she added. "But he has said that it will happen before my birthday. So my New Year's resolution will still be in tact."

Molly smiled. "Only if your hymen isn't." she teased.

"True." Marissa admitted.

Molly took a big sigh. "Okay. So I want to hear all the details. But just give me a minute, I need to pee, but when I get back you need to tell me exactly what happened." She said as she headed for the bathroom.

Marissa realised that she hadn't been back to clean up the flooded floor yet and she smiled as she waited for the explosion.

It wasn't long in coming.

"Marissa!!!! Can you tell me what the fuck happened to our bathroom?"


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N Thanks for the feedback - it really does help to keep me motivated_.

--- **Chapter 11**

Ryan lay in bed that night thinking over the strange series of events that had unfolded. Never had he imagined that the day would turn out as it had.

He was thankful that when he'd arrived home Luke had been in the shower. It meant that Ryan had been able to avoid having to face him since he'd been concerned about how he was going to explain to Luke why he'd taken off and deserted him at the gym. Ryan had no idea what reason Molly would have given and he wasn't ready to share his newfound knowledge about Marissa with Luke. He doubted that he ever would be.

He quickly made his way in to his room and closed the door, leaving the lights off, hoping that Luke wouldn't even realise that he was home. He figured that he could get up and use the bathroom in a while – after Luke was asleep. Ryan had too much on his mind for there to be any chance of sleep finding him in the near future anyway.

He smiled in the dark. It was all so much to take in. Thinking about Marissa as a virgin just made her even more special to him. He'd always known that she was different but he couldn't tell if that was the reason why. Looking back it all started to make sense. He realised that some of her actions were understandable given her lack of experience. But then remembering the way that she responded to him when he went down on her and her actions in the shower when she'd come to him unbidden … he knew that once awakened … Marissa the sexual being may just be more than he could handle. He couldn't wait. His body started to respond to just the thought of what he had to look forward to and he rubbed his fist over his growing erection thinking 'down boy'.

He had no idea how he had managed to say no to her. She was beautiful. Hot. And horny. And yet he'd left her wanting more. She had wanted him and he'd said no. But only because he wanted to make sure that she really wanted HIM not just any guy. But already he didn't think that was the case. He thought that they had the start of something special. But how would he know for sure?

He knew that Luke would never believe what had happened tonight which was hardly surprising given that Ryan himself was having trouble believing it. Part of him wanted to get back up and go straight back to her place and fix the problem. But that was just it. As far as he was concerned it wasn't a problem.

Although he had to admit that he was also a little nervous about it.

It would be a first for her and he wanted it to be perfect.

But what she didn't know … was that it would be a first for him as well.

He'd never taken a girl's virginity before.

And even though it may seem strange, given his obvious experience with the female sex, it had been a deliberate choice. He had never wanted to. He had always avoided it.

And for good reason.

But that was up until he'd met Marissa. When it came to her, he knew that he didn't want anyone else to do it. So that meant that it had to be him. But he didn't want her to have any regrets.

Ryan's aversion to taking a girl's virginity had started many years ago back in Chino.

He and Theresa had always been friends. They'd grown up together. She was one of the few people in the world who actually knew the real Ryan. Knew what his family were like. And what he'd been through.

Ryan had always been good at hiding his feelings. He didn't talk much. He'd learnt at a young age that you actually got beaten up a lot less if you just kept everything to yourself and kept your mouth shut. So, not many of his friends from school had any idea about what the Atwood household was really like.

But Theresa lived next door. She knew it all. She could lie in her bed, which was on the side of the house near Ryan's and hear the fights. She knew when he was getting beaten up by AJ or one of Dawn's other 'male friends'. Often she'd been the one to offer him shelter when it all got too much. She'd open her bedroom window wide and he'd slip in to her room and she would comfort him without anything needing to be said just by providing him with a safe place to stay. Looking back he realised that her mother had probably always known about what they were doing but she'd avoided saying anything as well. She must have also known that it was best to keep one's own counsel.

But as they got older and puberty approached, it was only natural that as they became sexually inquisitive that it would be one another that they would turn to. Sort of the 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' scenario and so they'd fumbled around with one another's bits but had never gotten very far. They had both talked about maybe doing the deed one day – just so they'd know what it was all about. Everyone in Chino did it, so it just made sense for them to try it out on one another first. It wasn't like they were madly in love or anything … more that they were just doing something new with their best friend. And everyone likes to experience new things with friends. They weren't in any hurry but they'd both accepted that when the time was right, then they'd probably try it together.

That being the case, Ryan the responsible one, had asked Trey if he could borrow a condom … just in case. A move that Ryan regretted to this day because he was sure that was what gave Trey the idea.

One night not long after, after a particularly harsh beating from AJ, Ryan had gone to Theresa's window only to find it locked solid. He'd tapped and tapped and then resorted to knocking loudly but still nothing. And yet he knew she was inside. He could hear her through the gap between the window and the sill. She was crying and he had no idea why. Eventually he'd waited until all the lights had gone out in his own house, knowing that AJ would be asleep and he'd crept back into his room still wondering about what had happened with Theresa. Why was she crying? And why wouldn't she let him in?

She'd avoided him for several days until he'd finally found out what had happened. And he'd found out from Trey of all people.

Not willing to believe what Trey had said, assuming that he was just taunting Ryan as usual, Ryan had immediately gone to see Theresa only to have her confirm every horrible word.

Apparently on that fateful evening a few days earlier, Trey had decided to pay a visit to Theresa. He knew that her mother was out because he'd wanted to go out with Arturo that night but Arturo had explained that he was busy, he had to drive Theresa's mother to visit her sister.

Theresa was a little in awe of Trey. He was a couple of years older and had quite a reputation with the girls around school. They all thought he was hot and they were always happy to accommodate him whenever he could fit them into his busy schedule. To this day Ryan didn't know how, but Trey had somehow convinced Theresa that she would be the luckiest girl in the world to lose her virginity to Trey. He'd explained that the worst thing that you could do, would be to do it with someone that had never done it before, someone like Ryan. That because Ryan wouldn't know what he was doing, he would only end up hurting her. Plus he suggested that once she knew what she was doing then she'd be able to help Ryan out. That it was just friends helping one another out by passing on their knowledge.

Somehow it had all made sense to her at the time and so Trey had taken her virginity on the single bed in her room while her mother was visiting with her sister. He hadn't taken his time. He hadn't been gentle. In fact he had been fast and brutal, leaving a raw and bleeding Theresa curled up on her bed in tears.

Trey had laughed as he'd left her room telling her that now that he'd fixed her up, Ryan was welcome to her.

That … as always … Ryan could have 'Trey's sloppy seconds'. He got his hand me down clothes so why should girls be any different.

Ryan had been incensed at Trey but Theresa had stopped him from going after him. She admitted that it wasn't rape. She had agreed to it, thinking that it was somehow going to make her worldly wise. But all it had done was make her regret the whole sorry thing. She wished that she had never done it. She wished that she'd waited. But it was all too late. She could never get back what he had taken away.

Eventually, quite sometime later, she and Ryan had done the deed, but by then she was just giving it away to anyone that seemed to want it. It wasn't the same but she'd told Ryan that because there were no emotional feelings involved in her first time that she couldn't see the need for there to be emotions involved at all. If it made her feel good then why shouldn't she do it? Because there wasn't much that could make you feel good in Chino?

It was a harsh reality to come to terms with.

Something that she had been hoping would be special was something that she never liked to think about. She was over it. And she'd moved on. It had become a physical act of pleasure but no more. However Ryan knew that the emotional wounds that Trey had inflicted that night were still there. And he didn't ever want to be responsible for leaving that sort of mark on a girl.

And so he had avoided virgins at all costs. He didn't like to think that there could be a chance that he would leave the same sort of emotional scars behind.

Better to find experienced girls that were in it for the fun and enjoyment just like he was.

That was until Marissa.

He wanted more than fun with Marissa.

Sure he wanted them to enjoy themselves but it was more than that.

He knew already, he wanted it all.

The pressure to make it perfect for her, he knew, was going to weigh heavily on him over the next 13 days. And the thought that if he didn't, she might forever regret her decision was a daunting prospect.

---

Marissa woke the next day and her first thought was of Ryan. She actually wondered if the thought of him had even left her mind all night. He was certainly the last thing that she had thought about before she went to sleep, he'd filled her dreams and now all she could think about was the prospect of seeing him again at lunchtime. She wished that he had chosen to stay, even if they hadn't done anything. The thought of waking up all curled up beside him made her feel all warm and squishy inside. It was a feeling that was entirely unfamiliar to her but she was sure that she'd love to get used to it.

Bouncing out of bed she met Molly at the door way just on her way out for a run.

"What are you doing up at this hour?" Molly asked. Marissa was usually the hardest person in the world to get out of bed.

"I just have to get ready." She explained.

"At 6 o'clock in the morning?" Molly asked.

"It takes time for a girl to look her best." Marisa explained.

"And why would you be wanting to look you best?" Molly teased. "I normally drag you out of bed as I'm walking out the door at 8:45 and you throw on jeans a top and pick up an apple and you're all good. What's different about today?" she laughed unable to keep a straight face any longer.

Marissa smiled back. She knew that Molly was just teasing. "I have a lunch date." She replied pertly as she almost skipped around the kitchen. She was so happy she thought that she might burst.

"With anyone that I know?" Molly asked playing along.

"Only the sexist, most gorgeous man on the face of the earth." Marissa replied.

"Besotted much?" Molly asked.

"Only a lot." Marissa replied light heartedly. "And why shouldn't I be?"

"I must admit that he is pretty cute." Molly reluctantly admitted.

"Pretty cute? You have no idea." Marissa shook her head and then added. "I thought that too until I saw him naked and let's just say that 'cute' doesn't cut it."

"What you have a better adjective?" Molly queried enjoying this new Marissa. She was a far cry from the insecure mess that she'd been after Spencer.

"Caring. Considerate. Amazing." Marissa replied and then a sparkle came into her eyes. "Delicious ... Cut ... Hot …. Hung …" she sighed loudly. "And have I told you about the things that he can do with his tongue?"

Molly laughed. "Okay. Okay. I get the message. Now you're just trying to make me jealous."

"It's okay. It's understandable that you would be because you just don't find Ryan's growing on trees." Marissa replied as she pulled the juice from the fridge.

"I guess not. You find them in gyms. I told you that it was a great place to hang out. You can thank me later by the way for letting you take my place so that you could meet him. And as for the thanks that I deserve for giving him your address last night …"

Marissa went serious all of a sudden. "Now that, I do have to thank you for. But I have to admit that I'm still surprised that you did that. When I'd last spoken to you, you were still warning me off him. What happened to change your mind?"

"I'm not really sure. He just came and said that he wanted to get in touch with you and I suggested that he leave you alone and if you could have seen his face … He asked was that what you really wanted and I swear that I thought that he was going to cry if I'd said yes." Molly teased.

"You may be exaggerating a little but I don't care. It makes for a good story." Marissa laughed. "But forget about going out for a run this morning. I need your help here."

"Doing what? You already made me help clean up the bathroom last night. What else did the two of you manage to destroy?"

"It's nothing like that. I need you to help me decide what to wear." Marissa stated and Molly started to laugh. Marissa added indignantly. "This is no laughing matter. My whole future could depend on this."

"Honey from the look I saw in that guy's eyes last night … you could wear a potato sack and he would still want you."

---

Ryan was starting to get nervous. He looked at the clock again. 11:50. Only 10 more minutes. His fluid dynamics lecturer was giving them some homework but Ryan knew that he would have to get it from one of his classmates later. His brain couldn't concentrate on anything but the fact that he'd be seeing Marissa in 10 more minutes. As soon as the lecturer picked up his things, Ryan was out the door only to run straight in to Luke.

"Whoa. Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Luke asked. He'd been hanging around the doorway of the lecture theatre waiting for Ryan. He had a few questions for his friend.

"Just lunch." Ryan replied innocently.

"Good. I'll go with you." He stated and Ryan baulked. He didn't need Luke coming along to spoil things but he didn't know what to say to give him the brush off. They fell into stride together heading out of the building and towards the library.

"I guess you must be hungry since you obviously skipped breakfast." Luke said trying to work out what was going on with Ryan. "You were gone before I even got up."

Ryan nodded. He had woken early and hadn't been able to go back to sleep. He was too excited about the prospect of seeing Marissa. And so he'd decided to get up, get dressed and quietly leave … thus avoiding any awkward conversations with Luke. Just as he wanted to do right now.

"Yeah. I had some things to do." Ryan explained lamely.

"What sort of things? You never take off without your mandatory bowl of cereal." Luke stated.

"Just some stuff that I needed to take care of." Ryan replied cryptically. He knew that he sounded lame. Luke was never going to buy it.

Luke was bemused. That was Ryan avoiding giving an answer if ever he'd seen it but he didn't think he had much chance getting a better one right now so he thought that he'd try a different tack. "So what happened to you last night?" he asked.

"I … ah … I had to go and help a friend with something." Ryan replied knowing full well that the answer was never going to be enough for Luke.

"That's about as much as Molly told me. You know that I'd be angry with you ditching me except that it meant that I got to spend some time with the lovely Molly. You know I think that I might be in with a chance there." Luke suggested.

Ryan laughed. "Don't get too carried away." He said and then hesitated. Luke stopped beside him. They were now about 50 yards from the entrance to the library and looking over Luke's shoulder, Ryan could see Marissa standing with her back to him. She was gorgeous, even from this distance and she was waiting for him. But unfortunately she wasn't alone. She was talking to Molly. He couldn't help but be disappointed because he'd hoped that they would spend the time alone. He really didn't want to share her with anyone. Unfortunately he was so entranced in her nearness that he'd basically tuned Luke out all together and Luke had noticed. He turned around to follow Ryan's line of sight, wondering what had captured his interest and instantly spotted Molly and Marissa talking.

Luke frowned as he started to put 2 and 2 together. "Was Marissa the 'friend' that you were helping?" Luke asked.

Ryan blushed as he came to realise as soon as Marissa's name was mentioned that Luke had sprung him off in fantasy land.

"Um yeah. She needed help with something and Molly asked me to go and give her a hand." Ryan said but couldn't help but think that it wasn't exactly his hand that had been required to fix 'the problem'; more, another part of his anatomy.

Luke smiled. He hadn't lived with Ryan for 3 years and not learnt to read at least a few of his looks. "Uh huh. And I'm sure that you were happy to help. No wonder that you've been off the planet. I swear if I could plant myself between those legs then I'd …."

Ryan instantly turned on him. "Luke. If you don't want me to hurt you, and I mean seriously hurt you, then you will never speak about Marissa like that again."

"Whoa." Luke pulled back instantly. "Touched a nerve there have I? Sorry. I didn't realise." Luke said backing off immediately. He also knew when Ryan was about to revert to Kid Chino mode. He hadn't seen it for a long time but something about this girl had just sparked it off.

"Just …" Ryan said a little frustrated. He knew that he'd over reacted. But this was Marissa that Luke was talking about. "Just leave it alone. Okay?"

"Sure." Luke said wanting to calm his friend down. He looked back at Molly and Marissa standing talking. "So … did you fix the problem?" Luke asked.

"I'm working on it." Ryan replied. "In fact I'm supposed to be meeting her for lunch."

"Well it looks like she's brought a friend along so why don't I accompany you. Maybe I can chalk up some brownie points with Molly?"

Ryan contemplated it. By choice he wouldn't have Luke or Molly along. But then he had to admit that he was a little concerned about just what Molly was doing with Marissa in the first place. Was Marissa nervous about spending alone time with him? Were they going to be doing one step forward two steps back? He thought they'd gotten past that last night. Or was that not the issue at all. Maybe Molly was going to go off on him? After all … she had sent Ryan to fix a 'problem' last night and he hadn't actually got the job done. Was she going to be angry with him?

He hesitated and then decided that having Luke along was probably a good idea. Hopefully he would distract Molly. And he was pretty sure that Molly wouldn't say anything about Marissa's 'problem' in front of Luke thus guaranteeing that Ryan would be safe from her wrath, at least for today.

He finally nodded his head. "Okay. But only so you can run interference for me." Ryan said. "You keep Molly amused and we'll be all good."

"Done." Luke said as he started to march towards the girls. This looked liked being a far more interesting lunch hour than usual.

As they neared the two chatting girls, Ryan's nerves started to chime in. He couldn't believe that he'd been able to think of little else all day but the prospect of seeing Marissa again and yet here he was only meters away from her and he had no idea what he should say or do. Plus he was going to have an audience and he could have definitely done without that. Was he allowed to touch her? Or should he just play it cool and pretend like nothing had happened? Luke knew nothing. But Ryan had no idea what Marissa may have confided in Molly. He was running out of time to decide when he noticed Molly glance up and spot them walking towards them and she indicated to Marissa that they were about to have company.

Ryan started to sweat. What should he do? How should he greet her?

But he needn't have worried. As soon as Molly indicated their imminent arrival Marissa turned and almost leapt into his arms, her lips finding his and kissing him thoroughly. He couldn't help but laugh at her reaction as the concern inside him instantly dissipated and she pulled back and hit him jokingly.

"You're not supposed to laugh when I kiss you." She said.

"Sorry." He said in between kisses. "I just wasn't … expecting it."

"Hey. I could do with a greeting like that." Luke stated looking hopefully at Marissa and then when it was obvious that she was otherwise occupied, at Molly.

Molly just laughed. "Dream on." She said to him.

"Well how come he gets that sort of reception?" Luke asked still amazed at the fact that Marissa and Ryan were making out in front of him. There was obviously a lot more to this than Ryan had been letting on.

"You'll have to ask them." Molly suggested.

Ryan came up for air, sneaking his arm around Marissa and pulling her in tight letting her know just how happy he was to see her. "So where to for lunch?"

Molly had only been keeping Marissa company until Ryan arrived but since Luke was there she figured that she may as well join in. She and Marissa looked at one another and then grinned, both saying at the same time "Starbucks?"

Ryan looked at Luke questioningly. "That okay with you?"

Luke shrugged. "Sure."

Ryan indicated for the girls to lead the way as they could only walk two a breast along the path.

Luke fell in beside Ryan and then leant in and asked. "Exactly what's going on with you and Marissa?"

Ryan shrugged not wanting to say too much. Plus he wasn't really sure what to say. "I told you. I … um … I'm helping her with something."

"Sheesh. Exactly what sort of help? Just because you worked a few summer's in construction doesn't mean that you're the only one that can fix things." Luke said wondering why Molly had asked Ryan instead of himself to help out.

Molly overheard and turned back to Luke. "I think that Ryan's the only one that can fix this." She chuckled.

Luke frowned. "What sort of problem is it?" Luke asked.

"Um." Ryan hesitated and both Marissa and Molly turned to look at him, waiting to see what he would say. "I guess you could say that it's a plumbing problem." Ryan replied after much consideration.

"Plumbing?" Luke queried. "You need to be careful fooling around with that stuff. If you don't have the right tools you can end up flooding the place."

"Well they definitely did that last night." Molly added almost unable to contain her laughter at Ryan and Marissa's discomfit. "There was water everywhere."

Luke couldn't work out what was going on. It was like they all had some knowledge that he was somehow missing out on. "Is it fixed now?" Luke asked.

"It will be soon." Ryan replied making eye contact with Marissa and they exchanged smiles meaningfully.

"Did you not have the right tools?" Luke asked.

By this stage Molly was almost doubled over with laughter and Ryan didn't know what to say. Marissa turned to Luke. "I can assure you that Ryan had all the equipment required." She stated definitively.

Luke still didn't quite understand what was going on. "So did you not know how to use it?" Luke asked again trying to work out what he was missing.

By now Ryan was laughing too. "I promise that I know how to use it."

Luke was still puzzled. "Do you want me to help? You know I'm pretty good with my hands."

"I'm sure that Ryan can cope with this all on his own." Marissa replied trying to keep a straight face. "But if you're really that good with your hands then maybe you should see what you can do for Molly?" she suggested.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N A special thanks to those of you who are letting me know that you're enjoying this. I appreciate you taking the time. It seems that there are still some R/M fans out there after all. _

**Chapter 12**

Ryan and Marissa laughed as they watched their friend's antics on the dance floor. They were all at a local bar celebrating the water polo team's first win of the season. After several drinks, Luke had loudly announced that both Molly and Marissa's presence would be required for every game from now until the end of the season because they were obviously the team's new lucky charms.

Molly was very happy with her new popularity with all the other water polo players and was making the most of it by happily joining in with everything that was going on. And that included drinking and dancing with them all … much to Luke's dismay. He had been hoping that Molly may have decided that she only wanted to spend time with him exclusively but it seemed that was unlikely when she had such a feast to partake of.

Marissa on the other hand had only gone along because Ryan was going. She only wanted to spend time with one man. And he was currently sitting in a darkish corner with her, their fingers linked, while they both watched the fun and frivolity.

"So … is it like this every Tuesday night?" Marissa asked.

"No." Ryan replied. "They are usually drowning their sorrows. This is quite a change. And your friend there …" he said indicating Molly "really knows how to party."

Marissa laughed. "Yeah. She does. But it's good. She can use the down time. She spent the last week sitting at the hospital with her mother so I'm sure that this makes for quite a change."

"Is her mother going to be all right?" Ryan asked, not wanting to pry but interested at the same time.

Marissa turned to look at him, taken again by his thoughtfulness. He really wasn't anything like most of the other guys that she'd spent time with. "We hope so. But she's still got a long way to go."

Ryan nodded. "That's good. No one should have to lose their mother at such an early age."

Marissa nodded. "Are you close to your mother?" she asked.

Ryan sniggered lightly. "Now that's an interesting question."

Marissa looked at him puzzled, not sure what to think about such a cryptic answer.

Ryan shrugged wondering how best to explain. "I have two. My real mother was a drunk who kicked me out when I was fifteen and I'd gotten into some trouble with the law. But I was taken in by my attorney and his family and they became my foster parents. Kirsten, that's my foster mom is great. And even my real mom seems to have sorted herself out now and I keep in contact with her and see her occasionally. But I guess that neither of them are what you would call traditional parents, although Kirsten is probably the closest to the real thing. But then she's a member of AA too." He explained. "Who knows? Maybe I'm the common denominator?"

"I seriously doubt that." Marissa commented sensing how much he had been through and just how difficult it was for him to confide in her. She suspected that not many people knew much about his background. He wasn't the type to advertise it. But one thing was for sure … he certainly wasn't the spoilt, rich kid that she'd first assumed him to be.

"Maybe." Ryan shrugged. "It seems that nothing's ever simple."

"Hmm. So you're not exactly from a traditional family." Marissa shrugged wanting to reassure him that nothing about his family made any difference to her. She was only interested in him. "Who is these days?" she asked.

"Do I sense a kindred spirit?" Ryan asked.

"Sort of." Marissa replied.

"So you're not part of the Brady Bunch then?" Ryan asked.

Marissa chuckled as she shook her head. "Far from it. If you want to compare families then I suspect mine is even more dysfunctional than yours. My mom and dad are divorced. Mom lives with the father of my old boyfriend. They were friends of the family when I was growing up. I just hadn't realised just how 'friendly' they'd become. And neither had my poor dad."

"Hmm. Tough. Is that why you and the guy split?" Ryan asked. "I imagine it would have been awkward for you to stay together. You would have been like brother and sister."

"No. That's a long story. We were on the rocks before I realised that my mom was playing around." Marissa said and then wondered if she should say more. She was intending to share the most intimate thing imaginable with this guy … should she tell him the rest? Making up her mind she took a deep breath and added. "It didn't help that his older brother tried to rape me one night." she stated frankly, looking straight ahead and not wanting to make eye contact with him, scared of what she might see there.

"What?" Ryan asked. There was so much about this girl that he wanted to know. He knew that something must have happened in her past for her to still be a virgin at this stage. She was beautiful, caring and warm; everything that he'd ever wanted. He found her completely enchanting and every minute that he spent with her only made him more and more certain that he wanted her in his life for the foreseeable future and not just for the few weeks it would take to fix her 'problem'. In fact, he scarily admitted secretly to himself, everything was pointing to the fact that he wanted her in his life forever. He couldn't imagine a time when he wouldn't want to be with her.

But he kept reminding himself that he barely knew her. Surely something would happen and he'd realise that he was falling in love with a dream, because he knew that's what was happening. He was falling in love. But having her sitting beside him, talking to him, honestly and frankly only made him doubt that she was a dream. He knew that the time would come when he'd want to make love to her just to prove that she was flesh and blood and not some imaginary being, conjured up by his mind.

But he didn't want to rush things. "What happened?" he asked gently running his thumb along the back of her hand to reassure her that nothing that she said would make any difference to the way that he felt about her.

She shrugged. He could see that she was hesitant to talk about it and he wasn't going to press her. "If you don't want to talk about it … I understand … you don't have to."

"No. I think that you deserve to know." She said still looking ahead and reluctant to make eye contact. "I'm sure that it's probably part of why I am what I am." She said as if she was explaining a fault that she had.

"What you are … is a beautiful young woman that I'm falling for." Ryan said, gently touching under her chin with his finger and turning her face towards him to stare deeply into her eyes. He moved towards her and kissed her softly.

Marissa felt her heart tighten. She some how found strength in his words. She knew that she was falling for him … and hard. And she wanted him to know about her background … just as she wanted to know everything about him. It was only fair that she would have to reveal her past to him at some point. She took a deep breath and then explained. "I went to his house one night to talk to him, Kurt, my then boyfriend. We had needed to sort things out between us. He seemed to want more from our relationship where as I had decided that I wanted less. I had been contemplating breaking up with him, but I guess that I was just taking the coward's way out. I thought that if I could just wait until the end of the year when we'd both be heading off to colleges on different sides of the country then I wouldn't have had to bother. Geography would have accomplished the separation for me. But he wasn't home. His brother invited me in to wait for him and he'd obviously spent the night drinking. Needless to say that Clay, that's the brother, decided that he'd like to 'warm me up' for his brother. Fortunately, he'd had enough to drink that once I'd managed to hit him over the head with one of his empty bottles and get away, there was no way that he could chase me. He was in no fit state. So I came out of it with a few bruises, a few scratches and some ruined clothes." She shrugged trying to pretend that it was no big deal.

Ryan admired the way that she spoke. She wasn't trying to play the victim at all; just someone in the wrong place at the wrong time. But he could see just how much it had bothered her. It seemed that she never ceased to amaze him. He put his arm around her shoulders to pull her close, wanting to comfort her even though she had shown no sign of needing it. She had dealt with it and moved on. "Did you charge him?" Ryan asked.

Marissa shook her head. "Maybe just me being the chicken again." She shrugged. "They were family friends. Or at least that's what I'd thought at the time. And I'd managed to escape before he'd achieved his goal. So I just pretended that it didn't happen and I closed myself off until the end of the year when I could get away from the whole place. Looking back I wonder if I should have done things differently." She shrugged. "But needless to say that I don't visit my mom and her new family."

Ryan nodded. "Does your mom know what happened?" Ryan asked.

"No. I didn't tell her." Marissa replied.

"Maybe you should." Ryan suggested.

Marissa shook her head. "You don't know my mom. She would have told me that it was all my own fault for holding out so long. She'd accused me the year before of being a tease because I hadn't slept with Kurt. I can't see that she would have changed her mind just because it was Clay. I gather that she was sleeping around when she was 14 so she didn't understand me at all. In fact if she knew that I was about to turn 21 and still hadn't done the deed, then she'd probably think that I was insane and needed to be locked up."

Ryan smiled and Marissa looked at him trying to work out what was funny. "What? Don't tell me that you think that I need to be locked up too? And here I thought that you were a nice guy?"

"You're going to have to make up your mind just what you want me to be." Ryan suggested. "I can be nice." He said. "But I also have to admit to quite liking the thought of having you locked up."

Marissa frowned. Maybe this guy wasn't what he seemed to be after all.

"Or at least tied up." He smiled. "to my bed." He added as he realised that she wasn't on the same page.

"Oh." Marissa said feeling the flush burn her cheeks. She was amazed that Ryan still seemed to want her even though she had just revealed one of her most intimate secrets to him. Something that she'd kept locked inside her for such a long time. The only other person in the world that knew what really happened that night, besides Clay, was Molly.

And what was even more amazing was the fact that the thought of being tied up to Ryan's bed was not at all unappealing. She smiled. The relief she felt from having been open and honest with him and having him clearly accept that it was just part of her past and nothing that she should feel responsible for was uplifting. "This sounds like a new lesson that I need to be taught."

Ryan laughed out loud. "I am going to enjoy teaching you, that's for sure."

"Well, when can we get started?" Marissa asked. "Why don't we get out of here now?" she said and she ran the hand that had been resting on his knee slowly up his thigh.

Ryan clamped his hand over hers stopping it just short of it reaching her desired destination. "Oh boy. This is going to be hard." Ryan said kissing her and trying to calm himself down by taking deep breaths in between.

"I think that it might already be." Marissa said as her little finger managed to reach out from his hold and touch her target in his crutch which was indeed firm and getting firmer by the minute.

Ryan repositioned his hand to bring her little finger back into line with the others. "You think that you're so cute, don't you?"

"Maybe." She replied.

"Mmm. You are. And you know it." He said kissing her lightly on the tip of her nose.

"So what do you say? Can we get out of here and move on to lesson 2?" Marissa asked again.

"We can't. We all came in the same car and I can't see us getting the other two to move off the dance floor for quite some time." Ryan said, for once pleased that he was going to have to wait for Luke. Staying in public might be the only way that he'd be able to resist her because there was no doubt that the attraction between them was almost palpable.

"Well then, what are you doing tomorrow night?" Marissa asked.

"Wednesday night?" Ryan replied shrugging. "Gym?"

"How about you give it a miss for the night and come to my place instead? Molly will be at work so we'll have the place to ourselves. And I can give you a workout." Marissa suggested smiling.

"But you don't have the equipment." Ryan teased.

"Just because my equipment is different from that at the gym – I don't think that you should dismiss it without trying. Who knows you may even find that you prefer it?" Marissa asked.

"I'm sure that I will." Ryan replied his voice dropping to a husky tone as he imagined some of the possibilities of what she had in mind.

"Good. I'll even supply dinner." Marissa offered.

"Ah. You think that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach?"

"Who said that I was trying to get to your heart?" Marissa asked and as soon as the words were spoken she knew that they were true. She did want to reach his heart. But she didn't want to scare him off. "I just want to get into your pants." She explained. Surely no guy could runaway from what she was offering. She was a sure thing.

Ryan couldn't help but be a little disappointed. Sure, he could hardly wait until they consummated their relationship but he did want her to be after his heart. But he knew that he was going to have to work on that. "So you think that the way into a man's pants is through his stomach?"

"Don't be silly. I know that the way into your pants is through your fly. I may be naïve but I'm not totally stupid. But if I feed you enough then your pants will get too tight and you'll have to drop them just to be comfortable." She laughed.

Ryan smiled. "You may be right."

"But I do have an ulterior motive." Marissa explained.

"This I need to know about." Ryan said pulling himself closer to her so that she was almost on his lap.

"You know that couple of hours spare that I had after lunch? When I tried to get you to come home with me but you had some boring old prac you had to go to?" Marissa asked.

"Yeah."

"Well … I spent my time wisely." She said teasingly.

"Doing what? You didn't go and find another Greg to practice on?" Ryan said only slightly worried.

"No. But that's not a bad idea if you don't hurry up." She teased. "But I did go back to the library and let's just say that books can be a font of information. I learnt a few things that I need to try out. And I need one of those things that you've got in your pants to practice with … and well … you did volunteer to let me use yours whenever I needed one." Marissa reminded him.

"Yes, I did. Why do I have the feeling that I may come to regret ever making that offer? But do I need to remind you that we're not doing 'it' yet. Not until we get to know one another a bit better." He said still hoping that there would be a lot more than just the physical involved when they did finally do it.

"I know." Marissa said. "Spoil sport." She pouted playfully. "But can't we still have some fun like last night?" she suggested saucily.

"Exactly what do you have planned this time around?" Ryan asked.

Marissa smiled. "I promise I won't hurt." She said lasciviously.

Ryan groaned into her ear. "You may be the death of me." he said as he repositioned himself, the swelling in his pants making it difficult to sit still any longer.

"Not if I can help it. I have way too many ideas that I need you to help me with." Marissa replied. "Speaking of which … since you won't take me home and let me ravish your body … how about we join them on the dance floor?"

Ryan looked down at his crutch indicating with his eyes the effect her words had had on him. "You'll need to stay really close to me to ... um … hide my obvious attraction to you."

Marissa laughed. "I think that I can do that. Just stick really close and you'll be fine." She said as she stood up and Ryan moved behind her pulling her close. She smiled back over her shoulder. "I said to stick close … not stick ME."

"Sorry." Ryan smiled as he turned her in his arms and held her firmly to him. "It's just what you do to me."

Marissa loved the fact that he was so open about his attraction to her. She knew that the feelings were completely mutual. She nuzzled her face into his neck. Their bodies pressed closely together as they began to move with the music. They didn't need to dance they just wanted to feel one another. As they moved in time, Marissa found her hips pressing harder and harder into Ryan's, grinding against him as she felt his desire building; his hands on her rear pressing her even more fully to him. She could feel her desire building and the temperature rising and she quickly undid a few of the buttons on the front of her shirt, hoping to cool herself down.

Ryan glanced down at her movement only to be greeted by the sight of the glorious mounds of her breasts coming more into view. "Wh … what are you doing?"

"It seems to be getting hotter in here. I just thought that I'd try to cool down.

Ryan couldn't take his eyes from her chest. He wanted to bury himself in them. "You may be cooling down but I'm definitely heating up." he said, pulling her even closer to him to prove the truth of his words.

Marissa's breath was becoming laboured when they were all of a sudden startled by the loud voice of Luke. "Hey you two … get a room."


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N:** I had intended for this chapter to be the Wednesday night dinner but I've only gotten part way through and I have a busy few days coming up so I didn't know when I'd get the rest of it done. So I have decided to post what I have so far, hopefully that will keep you all going.  
**A/N2**: Yes. The book really does exist.  
_

--- **Chapter 13**

Wednesday evening, Ryan couldn't get rid of Luke fast enough. He almost pushed him out of the car at the gym and told him to find his own way home. Luke chuckled at the new Ryan and wouldn't let up with the teasing. Luke couldn't ever remember seeing Ryan in such a funk over a girl before, although he himself wasn't much better. He'd spoken to Molly at lunch time and she'd volunteered to give him a lift home after his workout and he was already running ideas through his mind of ways to get her to maybe stop off somewhere on the way home. He was sure that if he just persisted with his attentions that she would eventually give in.

Ryan hadn't been able to think of anything else since lunch, except the promised dinner with Marissa. Hell, who was he kidding … ever since last night, when she'd asked him over, he'd been able to think of nothing else but having dinner and spending some 'alone' time with Marissa? If they didn't resolve things soon then he knew that his studies were going to suffer. It seemed that he'd developed a one track mind. She was the last thing that he thought of before he went to sleep and the first thing on his mind in the morning. And she filled in most of the day as well. He smiled to himself, wondering just what she had planned for their evening. He'd seen her at lunchtime and she'd been making a list to go grocery shopping with; one that she refused to share with him. She had insisted on it all being a surprise. Including what he would wear. She'd informed him that he could wear whatever he liked to her place because he would have to get changed once he arrived. She was buying something especially for him. Ryan had no idea what it would be. He wondered if she was cooking Japanese and she would want him to wear a kimono or something. But he really had no idea.

He had told her not to go to so much trouble – that pizza would be fine with him as long as they were spending time together. But she had insisted that she wanted to do this 'right'. He'd then offered her some money towards her purchases (even though he didn't want to be the proud owner of a new kimono) but she had steadfastly refused, informing him that he would get his turn to wine and dine her, but tonight was her night.

As he went to enter her apartment block he was almost run over by a pizza delivery guy on the way out. Ryan quickly tried to stand to one side as the guy hastily rushed out the doors. Ryan glanced at him wondering what was wrong with him. Surely it wasn't just because he had more deliveries to do? Ryan had never seen a delivery guy in such a hurry, certainly none of the guys that ever delivered his pizzas were. But then he noticed the guy's complexion. The guy was bright bright red. Ryan could only deduce that he must have fallen asleep on a sun bed to end up that colour. If the rest of him was in the same state then he would have been in pain. But then why was he moving so quickly? It would have hurt even move and the guy was certainly moving … and fast. Shrugging his shoulders as he watched the pizza delivery car fading into the distance, Ryan realised that it would be just another one of life's little mysteries.

Moving to Marissa's door, Ryan knocked lightly.

"Who is it?" Marissa asked from inside the room.

"It's me." he answered softly, wondering why she wasn't opening the door. She hadn't bothered to check who it was on Monday night before answering.

"Me who?" Marissa asked again wanting further clarification.

Ryan was even more puzzled. "Who were you expecting?" he asked, wondering if she was intentionally teasing him.

"If you're the pizza guy again, I swear that I'll scream." Marissa answered.

Ryan's mind was going a thousand miles a minute. What did the pizza guy have to do with all this? And what had he been running from? And what did it have to do with Marissa? "Marissa. It's me, Ryan." He answered, now concerned and wanting her to open the door so that he could find out what had happened. At least he figured he knew now what they were having for dinner.

Marissa stood behind the door and slowly opened it a tiny distance, just enough that she could peer around the door and through the gap to confirm that it was indeed Ryan at her door.

Ryan frowned as they made eye contact. "Can I come in?" he asked.

Marissa smiled. "Sure. But you need to close you eyes first."

Marissa's smile reassured Ryan that nothing was wrong. He'd find out about the pizza guy some other time. "Close my eyes first? Why?" he asked.

"Because it's part of my surprise and I don't want you to spoil it." She explained. She'd already had one unwanted surprise tonight and so she'd decided that before it happened again, she'd make sure that Ryan was at the same disadvantage as her.

"Okay." Ryan said closing his eyes. "What now?"

He felt Marissa take his hand in hers and pull him quickly through the door, closing and locking it behind him, while saying. "Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them."

"Okay." Ryan said playing along. "But if we're playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey then I want you to be the donkey." He suggested.

"Ha ha. Very funny." Marissa said as she started to take Ryan's clothes off, beginning with his jacket and then pulling off his shoes and socks and discarding them.

"Wh .. what are you doing?" Ryan asked.

"I told you that I was supplying the attire for the evening. I just have to get you undressed so that you can get dressed again." She said as she pulled his t-shirt from his waistband and pulled it over his head.

"I can dress myself." Ryan said.

"I'm sure that you can. But I need the practice in undressing you." Marissa teased as she moved to his belt and fly to rid him of his pants as well. "Just keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them." She instructed.

Ryan had no idea what this game was that she was playing but he could feel himself getting aroused just the same as she pushed his jeans to the floor, the fact that he'd chosen to go commando now blatantly obvious as he stood before her completely naked. He'd thought that it seemed like a good idea at the time when he was getting ready as he'd hadn't been too sure about where lesson 2 might lead them. But he certainly hadn't been expecting to be butt naked within moments of entering her apartment.

"Nice." Marissa replied as she took in the sight of his naked body with his already stiffening manhood. It was taking her all her willpower not to stop what she was doing and just indulge in a little touching of her own.

Ryan blushed a little at her comment as he used his hand to try to maintain a little modesty and calm himself down at the same time. "Can I open my eyes yet?" he asked.

"In a minute." She replied. "I just have to go and grab your outfit." She replied and then as she found it difficult to take her eyes off him standing there in all his natural glory, she added. "Although I must admit that I'm starting to think that I'd prefer you like this." She said.

"You've got 1 minute to dress me otherwise I'm opening my eyes." Ryan stated firmly. He'd never had a real problem with his own nakedness but he didn't like feeling that she had him at a complete disadvantage.

"Spoil sport." Marissa said as she reached for the butcher's stripe apron on the kitchen counter and pulled it over his head. She tied it behind him and then said. "You can open your eyes now but if you don't calm down a little then it's not going to sit right." She said as she took in the tent pole effect that his partial erection was causing.

Ryan opened his eyes, instantly looking at the apron that he was now wearing and was about to question her when he looked up and completely forgot what he had been about to say.

Marissa stood before him in nothing but a tiny white frilly apron. It barely reached the top of her thighs. He had no idea what sort of material it was made from but it was sheer enough for him to see through. The dark circles around her nipples drawing his attention as his mouth dried up completely. He couldn't speak. But he knew that his eyes were bulging … along with another part of his body.

Marissa's smile grew as she watched his reaction. It was all that she'd hoped for and more. "You like?" she asked as she pirouetted on the spot giving Ryan a short glimpse of her naked derrière.

Ryan tried to swallow. His Adam's apple seemed to have swollen up along with that other part of his body that seemed to be milking all the blood from his system. It was making swallowing extremely difficult but eventually he managed it and squeaked out "Wh … what are you wearing?"

"Not much actually." Marissa replied as she smoothed the small skirt over her flat stomach.

"I can see that." Ryan replied. He desperately wanted to take her in his arms but it seemed that his feet were stuck to the floor in shock. But his eyes were following her hands and their every move. He watched them as they moved over the skirt, noticing the dark v between her legs through the almost-not-even-there fabric. His heart started to race and he had to consciously slow his breathing or he was scared that he might do something to embarrass himself. "But … why?"

"Well … the recipe book actually says that we are supposed to eat all tonight's food naked. But then it also suggests that you wear an apron while you're preparing it. Just in case of little accidents I suppose. We'd hate for you to get confused if you were chopping up sausage." She teased.

"You're trying to tell me that this is in a recipe book?" Ryan said.

"Uh huh." Marisa replied and then led him over to the kitchen counter where she handed him a book. "Would you like a drink?" she asked.

"Sure." Ryan replied as he picked up the book and started to flick through the pages. "Rude Food?" he asked rhetorically. "Where did you find this?" he asked as he took in the photos of various types of food served in amazingly erotic ways.

"Isn't it great?" Marissa replied as she handed him a martini glass which instead of the normal olive in the bottom had two stuffed olives that were held together by a toothpick. They looked like a pair of breasts with erect nipples bobbing around in his drink. Marissa's on the other hand had two olives held either side of a dill pickle which was poking out of the glass. She glanced at Ryan making sure that she had his full attention and then she proceeded to sip the martini and then lick the tip of the pickle over and over. Her tongue making circles around it as she dipped it back into the liquid again. Ryan couldn't take his eyes off her as he watched her pink tongue play with the end of it. He couldn't help but wonder what else her tongue would be able to do. He knew this was not going to be helping the tent effect in his apron one little bit. He gulped his drink down trying to calm his now racing heart.

"Would you believe that I actually found it in the library?" Marissa said. "But I was too scared to borrow it from there so I tracked it down at a bookstore not far away and went and purchased it this afternoon. So it's all ours. I figure that if it's as much fun as it looks then we'll be able to work our way through the whole thing. It just might mean that we will need to have a few more dinners together." She suggested.

Ryan smiled the idea of enjoying more dinners with a naked Marissa certainly appealing to him. "But I thought that we were having pizza?" he said still puzzled about the pizza guy comment but certainly not disappointed.

"No. Never. Tonight was meant to be something special … plus need I remind you that I am supposed to be trying to seduce you. Mind you, I opened the door to some creepy pizza delivery guy before when I thought that it was you. You should have seen his face when he checked me out, I thought he was going to faint. I slammed the door in his face in a big hurry, I can assure you." She explained. "It was just before you arrived. That's why I put you through the third degree when you knocked … because I was a little scared that he may have come back for another look."

Ryan now understood just why the guy was so red. He was obviously blushing … big time. He was sure that the guy would have figured that the glimpse he'd gotten would have been worth more than any tip that he's ever likely to receive. "Lucky guy."

Marissa smiled. "You know you could get lucky tonight?" Marissa suggested as she dipped the tip of her finger into a small container of caviar and then placed it on the tip of her tongue, playing with it and running it over her lips before eventually swallowing it.

Ryan couldn't take his eyes off her. He followed every movement her tongue made.

"If you like?" she shrugged.

Ryan swallowed thickly again. He had thought that tonight was going to be a beer and pizza night where they got to know one another a little better or maybe even the Japanese idea where they'd try to feed each other with chopsticks. But nothing had prepared him for this. He had no idea how he would manage to hold out. "You know that I like." He said pulling her to him, his resolve crumbling as he was unable to keep his hands to himself for a moment longer. His lips crashed in to hers and he could still taste the remnants of the caviar as he ravaged her mouth with his tongue; the ridiculous strips of fabric between them only serving to ignite his need for her even further.

Marissa leant back against the counter for support as she could feel herself go weak at the knees. She returned the kiss with equal passion desperately hoping that he would give in and simply hoist her on to the kitchen bench and take her then and there. The aching need that she felt for him was becoming all consuming. It lived somewhere deep in her gut and she knew that nothing but Ryan buried deep inside her would ever be able to calm it. She went to clear a space on the bench top and some things crashed to the floor, instantly causing Ryan to pull back.

"Sorry." He said as he tried to get himself back under control.

"Don't be sorry." Marissa panted. "Can't we just finish this?"

Ryan tried to steady his breathing that was coming out hard and fast. He kept telling himself over and over that he wanted her to want HIM … not the act. But it was getting harder and harder to hold back. "If you mean dinner then sure." He said. "I can see that you've gone to a lot of trouble." He said trying to regain control.

Marissa was disappointed but she could sense that the chance was gone … at least for now. She had a lot more planned for him this evening. Surely she would be able to crack his resistance somewhere along the line.

"Okay then." She said finishing her drink in one gulp as she got her breathing back under control. "Let's move on to the starters." She pulled a tray of shucked oysters from the fridge and placed them on the larger tray that was sitting on the bench with a bowl which contained some fancy lettuce and a dish with cut lemon wedges and salt and pepper. "You bring the book with you and follow me into the bedroom, because you're going to have to help with this." Marissa explained.

Ryan obediently did as he was told. He wanted to question the wisdom of eating in her bedroom but at that point he would have done almost anything for her as he followed her naked behind through into the adjoining room only to find her bed with a table cloth thrown over it and candles scattered on every available space. Marissa placed the tray on the bedside table and quickly pulled off her apron and lay down on her back on the middle of the bed completely naked. "Turn to page 6 and decorate me. I'm your serving platter." She explained.

Ryan turned to the page and took another large gulp as he studied the photo. "Are you sure about this?" he asked.

Marissa nodded. "Unless of course you don't like oysters?"

"I like them all right. But I've never eaten them quite like this." Ryan explained.

"Well are you feeling adventurous enough to try?" Marissa asked taunting him. "Or do you just want to stick to eating the boring old way?"

Ryan instantly rose to the bait (in more ways than one) and took some of the lettuce from the bowl and started to lightly place it on her mound creating a springy bed. He was having all sorts of trouble concentrating on the task at hand, wanting nothing more than to bury his face (and other parts of his anatomy) between her legs.

Marissa wriggled a little. "It tickles."

"What is this anyway?" Ryan asked.

"It's called red coral lettuce. Pretty fancy hey?" Marissa teased.

"Yeah." Ryan then took the half shells and lightly placed them on top of the bed of lettuce. The sight of the oysters sitting in their shells on top of the lettuce surrounded by Marissa naked body almost the end of him. He wondered if she would mind if he excused himself a moment while he went and jacked off. He thought that he would only need half a tug and he'd be coming all over the place.

Marissa could almost read his mind as she watched the play of emotions flashing through his eyes. He looked like he was almost in pain and she didn't want that. She wanted him to enjoy this. "There's lemon and salt and pepper on the tray as well if you'd like it?"

Ryan gulped. "Thanks." He reached for a wedge of lemon and squeezed a little juice on to the oyster and then hesitated. He couldn't seem to take his eyes from the lips of her vulva that were just lying there … tempting him.

"Now you can eat." Marissa urged as she took in the hungry look in his eyes, knowing that it wasn't solely for oysters.

Ryan gulped again. He reached for an oyster shell and then brought it to his lips tilting it until its contents slipped off and into his mouth swallowing it whole and then placing the empty shell back on the tray beside the bed.

Marissa watched with fascination. "Now you have to feed me … because I can't move." She said. The last part added more as an invitation than as a hindrance.

Ryan nodded his head and then picked up another shell. This time raising it to Marissa's lips and waiting until she opened her mouth and then tilting it and sliding the slippery morsel inside.

Marissa gulped as she followed suit and swallowed it whole and then used her tongue to trace the outline of her lips removing every last vestige of taste. The symbolism not lost on him at all. "That was good." Marissa said.

Ryan nodded; he seemed to have lost the power of speech. He was drowning in the sexual overtones.

"Please feel free to take whatever you want." Marissa said her eyes never leaving his.

Ryan got her message loud and clear and he quickly consumed another couple of oysters feeding Marissa in between and once they were all gone he buried his face in the bed of lettuce munching his way through it all.

Marissa wriggled around laughing. "That tickles."

"Well I'm still hungry." Ryan said as his fingers found their way inside her.

Marissa stopped still instantly. "Oh." She hesitated and then moved on the bed to tilt her hips and give his fingers better access as his tongue found her clit. Her breath was becoming ragged as she asked "Do you want the main course now?"

Ryan looked up from between her legs. "I think that I've found something here that will keep me going."

Marissa nodded as she gripped the tablecloth in her fists losing herself completely to the waves of pleasure that were beginning to flood over her.

---


	14. Chapter 14

**--- Chapter 14**

Ryan moved back up on the bed and tenderly held Marissa as she finally came back down to earth. He loved the way the she gave herself over completely to the feelings that he could bring to her body. He bent his elbow and rested his head on his hand so that he could watch the play of emotions on her face, loving every nuance until she realised what he was doing and she turned to him, a spent smile on her face. "I'm really going to have to return the favour."

He shook his head gently and replied softly. "No need. You don't have to do anything but feed me." He knew that this game they were playing was fraught with danger. He wasn't sure whether he would be able to hold out if she were to start on him.

"That doesn't seem enough in light of what you just did to me." she explained.

Ryan shrugged. "I was hungry." He smiled indulgently at her.

"Maybe I am too." Marissa said reaching to pull away his apron with one hand and take his dick (that had softened somewhat) in her other.

Ryan moved away slightly out of reach and took her hand in his as he made to stand back up beside the bed. "Well then let's go and see about the next course." He picked up the wisp of material that was meant to be her apron and handed it to her. "You should probably put this back on. Not that it covers much but I'm not sure that I can possibly work in a kitchen with you, where you are completely naked. I am only human after all." He smiled.

Marissa was disappointed. She wanted to make him feel as good as he had just made her feel. But looking at him standing there in his apron she realised that they still had plenty of evening left. She didn't need to rush things. She got up slowly and followed him back into the kitchen, the last vestiges of her orgasm making her movements lethargic.

"So I'm not sure if I'm even game to ask what's next." Ryan said, turning to her. She'd gone to a lot of trouble preparing for this meal and he didn't want to seem unappreciative.

Marissa leant in and lightly kissed him. Ryan smiled in return. "What was that for?" he asked.

"Because I can." Marissa replied as she opened the door of the fridge and pulled some containers out. "I thought that we might serve the main course on a plate to share and then desserts on you … literally." She smiled and then licked her lips.

Ryan gulped. He had no idea what she had in mind for dessert but if it meant that he'd be expected to be totally naked while she ate off him, then he was scared that he was going to require more willpower than he possessed. Maybe he should make a run for it now. But he knew that would never happen. He knew that this was all a game to her and he wouldn't spoil it. But at the same time he wanted her to appreciate that what she was trying to make happen shouldn't be a game, at least not the first time. Hell if she wasn't a virgin then the idea of indulging in this meal with her would be up there with the best of his fantasies … a very erotic fantasy.

"I hope that you like seafood because we're having fish. But if you don't then I've brought some hot dogs just in case." Marissa commented.

"Fish sounds good." Ryan said as he picked up the book again and flicked through the pages looking at the options. He stopped at the page with the hot dogs with the mustard dribbling off them and said "I may never eat another hot dog again if I keep picturing them like this." He indicated the picture to her.

Marissa laughed. "Phallic symbols not your thing?" she asked.

"Definitely not … not for something that I put in my mouth … and certainly not for something that I bite through." Ryan shuddered.

Marissa laughed. "How about vaginal symbols?" Marissa asked as she turned to the page the she had bookmarked.

Ryan looked at the book and his mouth dropped open. "You've got to be kidding me? I'm sure that I just ate that. Only moments ago."

Marissa laughed. "We're having Sole Colbert. And any comparisons that you might be making are all in your dirty little mind." She informed him.

"And your dirty little mind as well." Ryan suggested.

Marissa just smiled knowingly. "I've skinned the fish and grilled it already and its just keeping warm in the oven so we just have to put it all together and serve it."

"I think that I might enjoy this." Ryan said. "It does look like one of my favourites." He teased.

Marissa pulled out an oval plate and began to arrange things. "Read out the instructions for me?" she asked.

"It says to 'Arrange everything so that the soft white fillets curve gently round the creamy sauce rather like two long lips. Surround them with thick curls of parsley, insert the peeled shrimp, backs up, in the sauce at one end and the effect is ….'." Ryan looked up from what he was reading and glanced over as Marissa placed the last of the shrimp in and turned to him to show off her handiwork. "What do you think?"

Ryan gulped … again (he seemed to have been doing a lot of that tonight). "It looks … good." He said.

"Good enough to eat?" Marissa asked pertly, teasing him.

"Definitely." Ryan answered.

"I thought we might sit out here." Marissa said as she moved over to the glass topped coffee table and placed the plate down. She then threw a cushion on the ground on one side for Ryan and another on the other side for herself.

Ryan moved to sit down but was stopped by Marissa. "You wouldn't wear you apron to the table." She frowned as she stripped hers off and sat down cross legged.

Ryan followed suit, undoing the apron and then dropping it on the lounge before sitting down on the floor.

He gulped again. (He really was having trouble with his Adam's apple tonight.) Not only was he faced with a plate of food that did nothing but make him think of going down on Marissa again, but also her breasts were sitting pertly on top of the table, the nipples standing to attention. He could feel his dick twitching and there was nothing that he could do to make it calm down. It was like it was a divining rod pointing straight ahead. And he knew exactly what it was pointing at. The plate on the top of the table may have been preventing him from seeing the target but a naked Marissa was sitting cross legged in front of him. If only his dick had eyes in its head it would have quite a view.

"Why don't you go first?" Marissa said.

Ryan realised that they had no utensils but he also knew that his dick was engorged and throbbing and he didn't really want to put in on display. The table may have had a glass top but as long as he didn't move then the plate of food would have kept it shielded from Marissa's eyes. "Um … Ladies first." He suggested.

Marissa smiled. He had a funny feeling that she knew exactly why he didn't want to move. But then he was sure that his reaction was exactly what she had been hoping for. "We're supposed to use our fingers to eat with and feed one another." Marissa informed him. She turned her hand over, facing palm upwards and using her middle finger gently inserted it into the thick creamy white sauce, moving it towards the shrimp at the end. She smiled as she hooked a shrimp over her finger, the sauce dripping from it as she offered it to Ryan

Ryan swiftly took it into his mouth and chewed, using his tongue to catch all of the drips. He was concerned that he was about to spill creamy white sauce of his own all over the cushion he was seated on if he couldn't get himself under control.

"Now you feed me." Marissa said softly. The sexual tension in the room was palpable.

Ryan broke off a small piece of fish and dipped it in the sauce and then offered it to Marissa. She took his fingers into her mouth but then as he went to pull back she lightly held his hand in place and used her tongue to lick his fingers of every skerrick of food; sucking gently on each one in turn as her eyes devoured him at the same time.

Ryan knew that he was in trouble. Big … big … trouble.

---

By the time they'd finished the main course Ryan was having trouble even focusing; every fibre of his being seemed to be focused on his pulsating dick. He wasn't sure if he'd even be able to move without disgracing himself.

"Why don't you make yourself comfortable in on the bed and I'll bring the dessert on through?" Marissa suggested.

"Exactly what are we having?" Ryan asked wondering how he would manage to stay in control. He sort of hoped that it might be ice cream. Then he could pack it around his nether regions and maybe diminish the throbbing sensation plus the melting ice cream might actually hide any little accidents that he might have.

"Well … I had thought about having a banana split … but in lieu of your dislike of phallic symbols that you bite through, I guess that we'll leave that for another time. You do like strawberries don't you?" Marissa asked.

Ryan nodded. Still not sure about what he was letting himself in for.

"Just give me a minute and I'll be with you." Marissa said as she stood up and made her way back in to the kitchen to gather the dessert makings together.

Ryan hesitated for a moment trying to think of anything that might lessen the ache in his balls but his eyes couldn't help but follow a naked Marissa as she moved around the kitchen which was having the reverse effect and only making things worse. "Maybe we should give dessert a miss? I'm pretty full." Ryan suggested thinking that maybe if the dinner was over that he would be able to make a run for it.

Marissa looked at him licking her lips. "I'm still hungry. Surely you wouldn't deny a girl dessert?"

Ryan gulped … again. "Um … sure." He replied and quickly stood to make his way in to the bedroom, using his hands to try to keep his arousal hidden. He had to keep reminding himself that he was the experienced one here. "I might just go to the bathroom first." Ryan suggested thinking that maybe he'd be able to get away with a quick tug and bring himself under control.

Marissa smiled. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I gather from some of the books I read that it's a bit hard to go … you know like GO … when you are in that state." She said indicating his arousal which obviously hadn't gone unnoticed.

Ryan knew, that she knew, just how much trouble he was in, trying to control himself. And more to the point …. she was enjoying it. "Um … yeah … you're probably right." He said as he moved into her bedroom to lie down. Maybe if he closed his eyes for a few moments and thought about Luke's hairy bum then things might get better for him.

But Marissa was right behind him. She placed the tray back on the bedside table and then said to him. "I have some chocolate and strawberry body paint … but I thought that we might leave that until later?" she suggested holding up the two small pots and a paint brush.

Ryan glanced at her and then nodded. "Much later." He felt very self conscious about lying there with his erection standing proud whilst they talked about food but he also realised that there was absolutely nothing that he could do about it. Marissa was naked and sitting beside him and goodness knows what she intended to do to him at this point but needless to say that it didn't seem that his very obvious arousal was going to scare her off. If it hadn't yet then it didn't look like there was any chance in the near future.

She delicately placed a few strawberries on his chest. And then using her fingers she scooped a handful of whipped cream from a bowl that she'd brought in and she dropped it in to the indentation of his belly button. "Did you know that you have a cute belly button?" Marissa asked smiling.

Um .. No. I can safely say that no one has ever told me that before." He replied wondering how she could even say something so left of field when all he could think about was the fact that all of the blood in his body now seemed to be concentrated in one place. He was waiting with some trepidation for what she would do next.

She hesitated for a moment and then wiped the excess cream from her hand over his now totally engorged dick as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do and went on "Well it is. Are you sure that you don't want any dessert? I have marshmallows and chocolate dipping sauce as well." she said as she dipped her fingers into the chocolate and proceeded to cover her nipples with it.

Ryan heard a small groan and then realised belatedly that it emanated from the back of his own throat as he watched her. He wanted so badly to lick the sauce from her but he couldn't move because of the strawberries and cream that he had precariously balanced on top of him. "I suddenly have a need for chocolate but you need to get this stuff off me first." He said.

"Your wish is my command." Marissa said. "Watch this. No hands." She indicated as she put her hands behind her back and leant forward to pick up a strawberry with her mouth, then moving to his stomach to dip it in cream and slowly consume it … her eyes never leaving his as the juice of the strawberry ran down her chin. She used her tongue to try to clean up the rest of the cream that was spread over her face. "It's delicious. I know that you're not hungry but you really should try one." she said as she picked up another one in her teeth, swirling it in the cream and then bringing her mouth to his.

Ryan's mouth opened like that of a small bird's waiting to be fed. But it wasn't just the strawberry he wanted. Once it was consumed he used his tongue to plunder Marissa's mouth. She was in no hurry to move away. Enjoying every taste and stroke of his tongue until he had licked every skerrick of juice and cream from Marissa's face.

Marissa could feel herself getting wet but she knew that this time was for Ryan. She repeated the process with the strawberry again and then, when they were all gone she moved her hand to the left over cream and scooped it up into her hand as best she could and then she took his hardness in the same hand rubbing the cream over it.

Ryan's eyes nearly bugged out. "Marissa … I don't think that you should …"

"Don't think." Marissa said as she brought her tongue to his shaft, licking the cream and stroking it as if she was a cat in clean up mode. She looked up at him.

"You don't have to …" Ryan stated.

"I know. But I want to." she informed him, tentatively taking his tip into her mouth and stroking the end with her tongue. She looked up to see how she was going. "I'm not sure how to do this so feel free to give directions."

Ryan was almost gone. She'd barely touched him but he had been so close already that he knew from the tug in his balls that it would be mere moments before he would lose his load. "You're doing just fine." He panted out. "In fact …" he couldn't hold on any longer. He pushed her slightly away from him as he gripped his dick tightly and came in several long slow spurts. The white strands mingling with the left over cream already on his stomach.

Marissa smiled watching Ryan as he finally relaxed. She knew that he'd been in quite a state for most of the night. She was glad that she'd finally been able to help.

He slowly opened his eyes as his breathing returned to normal. "I think that the student has become the teacher." He smiled.

"There's still something that you could teach me." Marissa suggested.

Ryan couldn't believe that he was saying this but it had to be said. "Not tonight." He shook his head.

Marissa dropped her head. She thought that she'd done everything that she possibly could to get Ryan to give in and finally take her. If this hadn't worked then what was there left for her to try? It wasn't supposed to be this difficult. "Have you changed your mind? Do you not want to anymore?"

"Oh God Marissa I want to. I want to so much; I'm almost cross eyed with wanting you. But not like this. You don't need to seduce me." How could he tell her that he didn't want to feel like a piece of meat?

She looked at him confused by his words. "Then how?"

"When the times right … you'll know. We'll know." he explained. "You don't have to try so hard."

Marissa had no idea what she should do. All of a sudden she felt very self conscious about sitting on her bed completely naked before him when he'd obviously never intended to go through with it tonight.

"I better have a shower and clean up." Ryan suggested sitting up. He could see that she was confused and hurt by his words and that was the last thing that he wanted. But he still wanted this to be about more than just doing the deed. He was falling for her. And sure he wanted her to have no regrets about doing it with him but it was more than that now. He wanted the feelings to be mutual.

Marissa nodded reaching for a shirt to pull on.

Ryan stopped her and said softly. "Join me?"

Marissa gazed at him still unsure about where all this was heading. "You don't have to."

"I want to. More than you know. Plus someone needs to get that chocolate off you." He said smiling and bending his head to take her nipple into his mouth, using his tongue to clean the thick brown sauce from her.

Marissa smiled as the arrows of pleasure shot through her body yet again. How was it that having him touch her breasts could be felt between her legs as the frissons of excitement centred themselves? He could do so much to her with such a small touch that it was almost scary.

He took her hand as he led her into the adjoining bathroom. "I guess that we'd better be careful with the shower curtain this time?" he smiled.

Marissa nodded. "Otherwise Luke's going to be volunteering to come to fix my problem again." She said it half jokingly but half hoping that he would react to her suggestion and get jealous … even if only a little.

They stepped into the bath tub and Ryan turned on the water and when it was the right temperature he pulled her into his arms. The delicious feeling of coming home flooded over Marissa as their bodies made contact. She didn't think that she would ever want to move.

"You don't have a problem." He stated firmly.

She smiled. There was a definite hint of jealousy in his words.

"And I'll take care of everything." Ryan assured her. "But despite what you may think … we're in no rush."

"My birthday's only ten days away." Marissa said softly.

"I know. But 2 days a go we had never even kissed. We do seem to be making progress." Ryan said running his hands over her naked body under the stream of water.

Marissa moved against him loving the feeling of his body against hers. It was difficult to think that so much had happened in such a short time. "I guess we are." She smiled imagining where they would be in 10 days if they'd gotten this far in 2.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Luke looked up from the television startled, as Ryan walked in through the door. "Wh … what are you doing here?" he frowned.

"I live here." Ryan stated plainly.

"I know that. But … I wasn't expecting to see you tonight. Molly told me that Marissa had some special dinner all lined up for you and that I shouldn't expect to see you until the morning." Luke informed him. "She'd even organised to stay at a friend's place tonight to give you two some privacy." He added, raising his eyebrows with a knowing smile on his face.

"Well Molly was wrong. Wasn't she?" Ryan said moving to the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

"Okay. Don't bite my head off." Luke shrugged. "So I gather that the dinner wasn't all that special?" he asked somewhat rhetorically.

Ryan sighed deeply. He hadn't realised that Molly wasn't going to be home for the night. It just made him feel even worse. Marissa really had pulled out all the stops for tonight and yet he'd almost run away. He could have still been with her … curled up together in her bed … but he had fled the scene scared because he knew that he couldn't have stayed much longer without losing control.

He wondered what sort of reaction he'd get from Luke if he actually told him about what had transpired during the course of the evening. The fact that she'd had him naked within moments of entering the apartment, the fact that Marissa had been as well (except for that frilly see through excuse for an apron which had only made him want her even more), the book, the food, Marissa as a serving platter, Marissa's pert breasts sitting on top of the coffee table as they fed one another, Marissa eating off him, Marissa eating him …

Ryan shook his head trying to rid himself of the thoughts before he changed his mind and turned around and rushed back to her.

Telling Luke was never going to happen. It was something between he and Marissa that Ryan had no intention of ever sharing. Ryan realised that Luke was still watching him. "Dinner was …" Ryan looked for the right word but came up with nothing.

"Was?" Luke prompted.

Ryan thought for a few more moments and then nodded. "Yep it was."

"Was what?" Luke asked again, now even more confused.

"It just was." Ryan said wanting nothing more than to escape into his room and ponder how he was going to get through the next 10 days.

"Is she a bad cook or something?" Luke asked.

Ryan just shook his head still thinking about all the trouble that Marissa had gone to.

"Even if she is … I'm sure that you could have found something else to keep you occupied for the night." Luke said nudging his friend with his elbow as Ryan joined him on the couch in front of the TV.

Ryan said nothing. Still not able to get the image of a naked but hurt Marissa as she sat on her bed when he'd told her that nothing would be happening that night. Thinking back, he realised now just how much trouble she'd gone to, to set everything up. Maybe he was only hurting her by not following through and finishing things off. But that was just it, he didn't want to finish things, he thought that they were just starting something. Something special. But he wasn't sure that she felt the same way.

Luke was perplexed by Ryan's reactions. Things between Ryan and Marissa had seemed to have been going really well. Had something happened tonight to change that? "So things between the pair of you are …." Luke started hoping that Ryan would supply the ending.

Ryan hesitated for a moment and then offered up as explanation "We're taking it slow."

Luke started to laugh. He thought about Ryan and his very obvious appeal to women. Hell - Luke did well with the opposite sex, but Ryan almost had to beat them off with a stick- his quiet brood seemed to really turn the ladies on. And then he thought about Marissa, hot, sexy, legs that went for ever and obviously totally smitten with Ryan, and the thought of them 'taking it slow' was almost too ridiculous to imagine. God … they'd almost been humping on the dance floor at the bar last night. The more that he thought about them 'taking it slow' the harder he laughed.

"What?" Ryan asked, surprised by Luke's reaction.

Luke tried to get himself under control. "Give me a break. If you mean 'slow' like the way you were that day after you spent the night with both the Simpkins twins, then I might believe you. I swear that they'd screwed you so hard you looked like you could barely walk."

Ryan rolled his eyes. He did indeed remember the way that he'd been the day after his night with 'the twins'. It had been a night to remember. One for the scrapbook. They had been insatiable and he had no idea just how he'd managed to keep going. But at least by the end of the night they'd all collapsed into an exhausted sleep.

"By the way, did I tell you I ran into them the other day on campus? They said to remind you that they're still waiting for a call to organise round two." Luke said.

Ryan squirmed. Not so long ago, the thought of spending another night with the undoubtedly attractive and sexually adventurous twins would have been a fun way to pass the time but not anymore. There was only one girl that he wanted to spend the night with and he'd just left her to spend the night on her own. Should he be with her now? Maybe he should never have left? Was he doing the right thing by denying what they both so obviously wanted?

He looked at Luke who was noticeably enjoying his discomfit. "Next time you see the twins I think that you should offer them your services. Tell them I'm not interested any more." Ryan said.

"Is that not any MORE … but not any less?" Luke said chuckling. "No one in their right mind would say no to either of them … let alone the two of them together."

"Well I would." Ryan said standing to make his way into his room.

"So those legs of Marissa's really do wrap around you well? Huh?" Luke said. The only reason that he could imagine Ryan forgoing the Simpkins twins was if Marissa was a hellcat in bed.

"Just shut up about Marissa." Ryan said as he walked away. He knew that none of this was Luke's fault but at the moment, Luke was the only one around for Ryan to take his frustrations out on. He closed his bedroom door leaving a stunned Luke gob smacked behind.

---

After Ryan left, Marissa busied herself with cleaning up. He had offered to stay and help but once she knew that everything that she'd done had been in vain then she just wanted him to leave so that she could have some time alone to go over everything that had happened and hopefully work out what she'd done wrong. Because she figured that there was no doubt that she had done SOMETHING wrong. Sure they'd had 'fun'. 'Fun' like she'd never even contemplated a week ago and sure, he said that he wanted her and she desperately wanted him … and yet he'd still left.

She rubbed and scrubbed everything until it was spick and span, even deciding to clean the oven just to delay the inevitable – when she would be lying in bed with nothing to think about but Ryan and just what was going on between them.

When there was nothing else left to do, she crawled in to bed trying to clear her mind of everything that had transpired because she knew that there was no way that she'd be able to sleep. But no matter how hard she tried images of the evening kept invading her thoughts. She was mortified, thinking about greeting Ryan at the door basically naked except for the ridiculous wisp of fabric that had posed as an apron. What must he think of her throwing herself at him like that? The more she thought about it, the more she wondered about just what sort of effect this guy had upon her. She would have never believed that she would stoop to such measures just to get a guy. Somehow it made her play for Greg seem almost tame in comparison.

And it seemed that no matter what new low she stooped too, it still wasn't enough. She was starting to have some doubts about whether this was all worth it. Sure she wanted to lose her virginity. But she'd never planned to lose her self respect at the same time.

Maybe Molly had been right in the first place and Ryan wasn't the right guy to help her.

But then she thought about the feeling when she was in his arms … when he was holding her in the shower, gently running his hands over her, telling her they were in no rush.

It was the best feeling ever.

She'd felt warm and comforted and happy and … and … loved? No … surely not. Ryan was just helping her out. There was never any suggestion that he had to fall in love with her to do that. It was her childish dreams playing games with her. Someone experienced like Ryan knew that you didn't need to love someone to 'make love' to them.

That being the case …. she decided … she was going to take his advice. She wasn't going to try so hard. Maybe it was time to let him take the lead and show some interest. Maybe she would play hard to get.

She tossed and turned some more.

But she didn't want to play.

… unless it was with him.

---

Ryan lay on his bed thinking back over the evening. Never in a million years had he imagined what would transpire. He didn't know how he could get through to Marissa that she didn't need to seduce him. The only thing holding him back was the fact that he wanted more than just a quick fuck. He couldn't just come out and say 'I'm falling for you and I want you to fall for me too.' There may be guys on this earth that were that forthright but he wasn't one of them. He liked this girl too much already. If she didn't return the feelings then he would be putting his heart out there for her to stomp all over. And he wasn't prepared to risk that happening. It was the last thing he needed.

But he was scared that he'd hurt her tonight.

He frowned into the dark as he thought about it. He hadn't bothered to even turn on a light in his room preferring the lack of light. For some reason the darkness seemed to suit his mood so much better.

Finally reaching a decision he pulled his phone from his pocket and called her number. As he listened to it ring while he waited for her to answer, he couldn't believe how much he was looking forward to just hearing her voice.

"Hello." The answer finally came.

"Hi." Ryan replied.

There was an awkward moment of silence until Marissa replied that told Ryan everything he needed to know about how she was feeling.

"Hi." She replied hesitantly.

He could almost see the frown that accompanied the word.

"I …" Now that he had her on the phone, Ryan had no idea what he could say to her that would make things any better.

"You …" Marissa pushed him to continue.

Ryan hesitated again. "I … I didn't realise that Molly wasn't coming home tonight."

Marissa shrugged in to the dark and then realising that he couldn't see what she was doing she replied softly. "Would it have made any difference?"

Ryan was stuck for an answer. He could sense the hurt in her words and it took him some time to reply. He wanted to say yes that he'd be right back but truthfully nothing had changed. "I guess not."

"That's what I thought." Marissa said and then added. "I'm sorry for everything that I put you through tonight. I must really seem desperate." She said embarrassed as she thought about the way that she'd thrown herself at him.

"God. Don't be sorry. It was amazing."

"Yeah." She said sceptically. "I could see how much you were enjoying yourself. You looked like you were in pain for half the night."

"Only with wanting you." Ryan replied softly.

Marissa shook her head. How could he say things like that to her and yet when she'd offered herself up to him, he turned her down? She'd greeted him at the door naked except for the stupid apron that she'd thought was perfect for seducing him when she'd bought it … but now it laid in the bottom of the trash can along with his. A fitting end to an evening, that hadn't gone at all according to plan. Maybe she just needed some time and space to try to come to terms with everything that was or more correctly WASN'T happening between them.

Ryan wondered what she was thinking. She'd made no reply and the silence was deafening.

"So I'll see you at lunch tomorrow?" he said hopefully.

Marissa hesitated. She wanted nothing more than to spend time with him. But she needed to try to work out what was going on. And with him beside her, she seemed to be able to think about nothing but him and what she wanted to do with him. Needless to say that she seemed to have a one track mind when it came to Ryan.

"I forgot I have a meeting tomorrow about a group assignment." Marissa informed him hoping that he wouldn't see through her flimsy lie.

Ryan hesitated. Why did that seem convenient? He had no reason to doubt that she was telling the truth but something didn't seem right.

"Okay. So maybe we could do something tomorrow night?" he asked.

"I have assignment due on Friday that I need to spend some time on." Marissa replied.

"Maybe we could just catch a bite to eat? You have to eat." Ryan pushed.

By now Marissa was losing her patience. She didn't want to spend time apart from him but he was the one that wanted to take it slow and there was no way that she could do that if they kept spending every free minute together.

"For god's sake Ryan! You're the one that wants to slow things down. If you want me then fine. You know where I am. Come and take me. If you don't, then stop playing around with me. I can't take it anymore." She said tersely.

"Marissa it's not that simple." Ryan pleaded.

"It seems simple to me. And I really do have an assignment due on Friday that I've barely started. I should have been doing it tonight but I had thought that SOMETHING else was more important."

Ryan cringed. If only she had said that SOMEONE else was more important then he would have been out the door in a flash. But it seemed that they were back to square one. Doing the act was more important to her than that fact that she intended to do it with HIM.

"I'm sorry." He said. He could see that looking at it from her point of view, he was probably coming across as a tease and that was the last thing that he wanted. "Maybe we could do something on Friday night?"

Marissa sighed. She didn't want him to be sorry. She was the one that had brought all this on them. "Sure. As long as it includes clothes." She said. She was still mortified about how she'd thrown herself at him and been rejected. And yet, much as she was disappointed at the moment, both with Ryan and herself, she didn't want to risk losing him. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She just didn't understand quite what was going on between them.

Ryan laughed. "Definitely. How about dinner and a movie?"

"Sounds safe to me. Do I get to choose?" she asked.

"What we have for dinner? Sure." He answered smiling into the phone.

Marissa laughed. "You know that I meant the movie."

"Did you?" Ryan asked innocently.

"Yes. So … can I?" Marissa asked.

"Why? What do you want to see?" Ryan asked. "I have a feeling that it may not be my sort of thing."

"What? Are you scared that it will be a chick flick?" Marissa asked.

"No. After tonight I'm scared that you might like porn more." Ryan laughed teasing her.

Marissa couldn't help but join in. Now that he mentioned it, she could see the funny side of everything that had happened. "What and you don't?" Marissa teased back.

"I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it might incriminate me." he replied. "How about we agree that we'll find something that we both like?" Ryan suggested.

"We don't seem to have been able to agree on what we like, lately." Marissa replied doubtfully.

Ryan thought for a moment. "I don't know about that. I know that I like you. And I think that there's a chance that you might like me … at least a little." Ryan pointed out.

Marissa smiled. "True."

"Well that's a good start." Ryan replied.


	16. Chapter 16

**--- Chapter 16**

Friday morning, Ryan was sitting in class lost in his thoughts … of Marissa of course. He hadn't seen her since the fateful dinner on Wednesday night and even though he'd spoken to her briefly on the phone to organise to meet her for lunch and plan their evening, it just wasn't enough. He missed her. And he still had no idea how he could get them back on track. He was concerned that Marissa really did think that all that was between them was the commitment to 'do the deed' … when he was pretty sure that it was a whole lot more … or at least he thought so. But was that all just wishful thinking on his part?

He had just over a week until her birthday and he knew that he would have to finalise things by then. They had an agreement. Plus the fact was that he knew that he would have trouble hanging out that long anyhow, he wanted her so much it was eating at him. It seemed that she filled every waking thought. But now he was scared that once the deed had been done that she wouldn't need him around anymore. Her problem would be solved. Maybe she would then just see him as a complication in her life that she didn't need. He frowned. He hated the thought that she may not be as emotionally invested in this as he was.

He realised that he'd held back at the start because he'd wanted it to mean something to her. Not just be a physical act. He didn't want her to come to regret it like Theresa had. But now it was a whole lot more. He wanted her to want him.

He was trying to think of someway of finding out just how she really felt about him when his phone began to vibrate. Hoping that it may have been a message from Marissa he quickly pulled it from his pocket and flipped it open. He read the message and then smiled. It wasn't from Marissa but just maybe this could be his answer. He waited until he got out of class and then returned the call.

---

Kirsten was just cleaning up in the kitchen when the phone rang. She smiled as she looked at the caller id.

"Hello there my handsome man." She answered.

Ryan smiled. "You'd better not let Sophie hear you say that."

Kirsten laughed. "Do you think I have a death wish? She's outside playing so I'm safe. Those jealous daggers that she has for anyone that shows any interest in you have scared me off completely from saying anything in front of her."

"I see. So it's not that she's lost interest and that I've been replaced by someone new?" Ryan asked.

"No. You're still her favourite. Although it has been so long since we've seen you that I couldn't blame her if she'd forgotten what you even look like."

"It's only been a few weeks." Ryan laughed.

"Four. It's been four whole weeks. And that's much too long. For her and for me. Much as I like the sound of your voice, seeing you in person is a whole lot better. Plus, if you have the time, Sandy could really use some help with the tree house. I have suggested getting a contractor in but he seems to think that he's capable of doing it on his own and let me assure you that he isn't. At least not if he hopes to have it finished before Sophie goes to college."

Ryan laughed. "I'm sure that it's not that bad."

"You haven't seen it yet. I swear he had those plans of yours upside down the other day. He may be a great attorney but he is definitely not good with his hands." Kirsten stressed and then added. "Except maybe in the bedroom."

"Okay too much information there." Ryan laughed. "Impressionable son here."

Kirsten laughed. "Don't bother playing the blushing virgin on me. I have too much dirt on you." Kirsten teased thinking about Taylor's very vocal appreciation of Ryan's talents. It may have been a while ago but it had left lasting memories with them all.

"Okay. Hanging up here." Ryan said embarrassed.

"No. Don't do that." Kirsten said. "I promise to be good. So is there any chance that you could find a few hours in your busy schedule for us sometime in the near future?

"Of course." Ryan replied. "You know that you only need to ask."

"But you know that I don't like to ask. I know that you have a busy life and you don't need us bothering you all the time but we do miss you."

"And I miss you." Ryan said genuinely.

"So you'll come for a visit?" Kirsten asked.

"Sure. I'd love to." Ryan replied.

"This weekend?" Kirsten asked hopefully.

"Tomorrow if it suits." Ryan replied.

"Tomorrow sounds great. Maybe you could come over in the afternoon and give Sandy a hand and then stay to dinner if you have no other plans?" Kirsten suggested.

Ryan thought about the party that he'd been invited too but decided that this was much more important. "Sure. Sounds great."

"Okay. But I'm not telling Sophie until the morning otherwise I'll never get her to sleep tonight because she'll be too excited." Kirsten informed him.

"Whatever you think. You know your daughter better than anyone. But um … I was wondering …." Ryan started.

"What?" Kirsten asked.

"Would it be okay if I bring a friend with me?"

Kirsten smiled. He was still so polite even though he was part of the family. "You know that Luke's welcome anytime." She replied.

"I didn't mean Luke. It's someone else." Ryan explained.

"Someone else?" Kirsten asked. "You mean ... like … a girl?"

Ryan laughed. "Not just 'like' a girl but a real actual honest to goodness girl."

"Like a girlfriend?" Kirsten pushed.

Ryan shrugged. "Not yet. But who knows?" He could think of nothing better than having Marissa as his girlfriend. But they were still a fair way from that happening.

"Ryan Atwood. No wonder we haven't seen much of you. You've been holding out on us. If you have a young lady in tow then you know that we'd love to meet her."

"I haven't asked her yet. But hopefully she'll want to come with me." he said and as soon as the words left his mouth he realised that the only thing that he was sure of was that she wanted to 'come' with him. It was spending time with him that he wasn't so sure about.

"How could she not? If she has any sense at all, of course she will." Kirsten replied intrigued by the idea of Ryan and a new girl.

"You may be biased." Ryan suggested.

Kirsten laughed. "Only a lot. But before you get serious about her you'd better bring her here for inspection. However you should warn her not to expect a warm welcome from Sophie if she's going to take all your attention. Sophie might share her toys with her but I doubt that she'll be keen to share you."

"There's plenty of me to go around." Ryan assured her. "So – I'll call you after I've spoken to her and let you know when to expect us."

"I'll look forward to it." Kirsten replied. Ryan hadn't brought anyone home to meet them since he'd broken up with Taylor in his first year at college. She doubted that he was living life as a saint but it was still exciting to think that someone had him interested enough that he wanted to bring her home.

---

When Ryan met up with Marissa for lunch they were both very tentative with one another, not wanting to say or do anything that would start things out on the wrong foot. It was as if they were starting out all over again.

She had been waiting for him outside the library and he'd approached her from behind and much as he'd wanted to put his arms around her and pull her in to a hug, something made him hold back. He hadn't seen her since Wednesday night and he didn't know quite how things stood between them. He tapped her lightly on the shoulder and she turned around the smile growing on her face.

She'd missed him too much to be able to contain it.

"Hi." She said.

"Hi to you too." He answered.

She hesitated, as did he, but she couldn't help herself. Her body seemed to be magnetically attracted to his and she found herself leaning in ever so slightly.

Fortunately, he did too until they both touched and then his arms wrapped around her.

She snuggled in. Closing her eyes as she drank in the feel and scent of him as her arms unconsciously wrapped around him.

"I'm sorry." She said into his shoulder.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for." He said, drinking in the feeling of holding her close.

"Yes I have. You must be wondering what you've gotten involved in? I was so … so …" she had no idea how to describe her behaviour on Wednesday night.

Ryan smiled. "You certainly were." He said.

She pulled back a little to look into his eyes and saw the mirth there. "It's not funny." She said. "I'm so embarrassed when I think about it."

"When I think about it … embarrassed isn't the word that comes to mind … Unless of course you're referring to me?" Ryan informed her.

"Why would you be embarrassed?" Marissa asked. "I was the one that planned it all."

"Excuse me?" Ryan asked disbelievingly. "Why would I be embarrassed? Who was the one in a permanent state of arousal all night?"

Marissa smiled remembering back. "You did seem to be … or at least a part of you did seem to be … interested."

"Interested? That's an 'interesting' choice of word." Ryan replied smirking.

"So are you denying it?" Marissa asked.

"It would be pretty hard to deny it given the state that I was in. Actually speaking about things being pretty hard – if we don't change the topic then I'm likely to be again if we keep talking about it. Can we move on to something else?" Ryan asked.

"Sure. But I just wanted to apologise." Marissa stressed.

"Please don't apologise. I'm hoping that we'll have a repeat performance sometime soon." Ryan informed her.

Marissa looked up surprised. "Really?"

Ryan nodded. "It's gone right to the top of my fantasy list."

"What else is on that list?" Marissa asked intrigued.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out." Ryan replied smiling.

"How can I make them come true if I don't even know what they are?" Marissa asked pertly.

"How about I make you a deal that as we work our way through them, I'll tell you?" he suggested.

"That sounds like fun. But what about my list?" Marissa asked.

Ryan did a double take. "Your list? What's on your list?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." Marissa laughed as she repeated his words back to him.

"This could be fun." Ryan suggested and then looked around. "Are we waiting for Molly?" Ryan asked. They'd gotten in to the habit of all lunching together.

"Um … no. I convinced her not to come today. I figured that we needed to talk." Marissa said and then added. "Plus … she was a bit angry at you."

"Me? Why?" Ryan asked perplexed. He hadn't even seen Molly for a couple of days he couldn't think why he would be in her bad books.

"When she found out that we still hadn't done anything …" Marissa shrugged and then went on to explain. "She thinks that you're messing me around." Marissa explained softly.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be." Ryan shook his head. "But then again, I don't think that you could possibly say that 'we haven't done anything'. We have been doing plenty." He smiled. "You can't say that you haven't learnt anything new?" he said thinking about the very tentative hand job that she'd given him in the shower on Monday night compared to the whipped cream popsicle that she'd played with on Wednesday. "And you've introduced me to a whole new way of eating." He teased.

Marissa went bright red. "Can you please stop reminding me?" she wanted to change the subject quickly, not liking where it was going at all. "Speaking of eating … are we going to? I'm hungry." She said and then looking around puzzled she added. "And where's Luke?"

Ryan smiled. "Hopefully he's lunching with Molly some where. I sort of suggested that he might have more success with her if he got her on her own, instead of them always hanging around us. So I think that he was going to give her a call about them maybe lunching together." Ryan explained.

"So you were only thinking of Luke?" Marissa asked. "It wasn't that you were hoping to spend some time alone with me?"

"Well …" Ryan shrugged coyly realising that he'd been caught out. "I did think that maybe we could both benefit from the idea." He raised his eyebrows waiting to see if she would disagree.

Marissa laughed. "Why Ryan Atwood … if I didn't know better I could think that you were trying to get into my pants." She teased. "But we both know that's not the case. You've had me with no pants and you still didn't try anything."

"Could you keep your voice down?" Ryan exclaimed. "I have a reputation to uphold." He laughed.

"Ah. Maybe that's how I can get what I want from you? Blackmail?" Marissa suggested laughing. "You know … maybe all this talk about your experience is just that … talk. Maybe it's all done with smoke and mirrors. Maybe you don't know anymore than I do. I mean I don't know anyone that you've actually done it with. Maybe you haven't? Or maybe you're no good at it?" Marissa teased. Once she'd gotten going she couldn't seem to stop herself. The look of surprise on his face was priceless.

"I didn't realise that I needed references. But I'm sure that if we go for a wander through the cafeteria we're sure to find someone that could vouch for me." he said grabbing her by the hand and starting to walk in that direction.

Marissa was mortified. The last thing that she wanted was to come face to face with one of his …. conquests. "And if I find them and tell them that you holding out on me what will that do for your reputation?" she asked.

"I think that could damage your reputation more than mine." Ryan suggested still walking.

"My reputation can't be damaged. It's already so low that the only way is up." Marissa said.

Ryan stopped dead and turned to her. "That's not true. And you shouldn't just throw it away." He said earnestly.

"What are we talking about here?" Marissa asked. "Are we still talking about reputations?"

"You know we're not." He said. "We will do it. And soon. Let's just take some time to get to know one another first. Is that too much to ask? Or do you find spending time with me so abhorrent that you can't?"

Marissa sensed that for all his jest there was a hint of insecurity in his words.

"You know I like to spend time with you." She said simply.

"Okay." He said nodding and then softly kissing her. "So let's go and get some lunch and you can tell me what movie you want to see tonight and I'll tell you about our plans for tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? I have work tomorrow." Marissa stated wishing that she could change it. She could think of nothing better than spending the weekend with Ryan.

"I forgot about that. What time do you finish?" he asked,

Marissa thought for a moment. "I'm on early shift, so I work 8 to 4." She said.

"Four?" Ryan said thinking about whether he should go to the Cohen's on his own or what.

"If I work through my breaks, I could finish at 3." Marissa suggested.

Ryan smiled. "Three sounds great." He said giving her a kiss as reward.

"What are we doing?" she asked wondering about what he had planned. He seemed so excited.

"Building a tree house." He said as he turned and made his way towards the cafeteria leaving a puzzled Marissa a few steps behind.

---


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Ryan pulled up in front of Marissa's apartment. Her hand rested comfortably on his thigh and he was surprised at how right it felt to have it there. There was nothing sexual about it. Just a connection that he was coming to notice more if it wasn't there than if it was. As he turned the engine off, he placed his hand on top of hers, turning to her and asking. "I have to ask … do you have any idea what that movie was about?"

"Only from what Molly told me about it before we went." Marissa replied. "Something to do with someone robbing a casino?" she asked somewhat rhetorically, knowing that he had even less idea than she did.

Ryan nodded. "Just thought I should know in case Luke asks." He explained. "Did we enjoy it?"

"I certainly did." Marissa replied. "Although it does seem that I was otherwise occupied during the actual movie." She replied smiling. "I'm not even sure that I saw any of the previews. What about you?"

"Hmm … same here." he smiled. "You know we could have probably saved ourselves the admission price and simply sat here in the car and made out?"

"We'll have to keep that in mind for next time." Marissa suggested laughing.

By the time they'd finished dinner it seemed that it was all that either of them could do to keep their hands to themselves. The flirty chatter, the glances across the table … made it patently obvious what both would rather be doing? So … as soon as the lights went down in the cinema, it was as if a switch had been thrown and they went into make out mode. Even on the few occasions when they came up for air and to eat some popcorn, they were so busy looking at one another, that what was happening on the screen was irrelevant.

"Next time?" Ryan asked surprised. "Does that mean that you don't mind hanging out with me? Even if we're not 'doing' anything?"

"I'm getting used to it." Marissa replied trying to snuggle in to his side as he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her as close as he could given the bucket seats. But she couldn't get comfortable. "I think that we'd have to use the back seat if we were going to spend too much time in here." She suggested.

Ryan smiled. "Want to try it out?" he asked mischievously.

Marissa looked at her watch. "I really should be going in. I have work in the morning." She said and then looking at Ryan's playful pout she weakened and added. "But I guess that a few minutes wouldn't hurt."

"We're just doing research for next time." Ryan said climbing in to the back seat of the Range Rover and then helping her to join him. "To know whether or not it's comfortable enough." he explained.

Marissa couldn't help but smile as she snuggled in to his side. He was so cute. Once they were settled she said. "You know … you could have just come inside. I have a whole apartment that we could make ourselves comfortable in?"

"Yeah ... but …" Ryan started.

"You don't trust me." Marissa stated. "You think that I'll try to seduce you again."

"I don't trust myself." Ryan replied. "Because I'd be hoping that you'd try to seduce me again."

Marissa looked at him surprised. "I'd be happy to try; if I thought that it would actually do any good."

Ryan was weakening. If it was what she really wanted then maybe he should just give in. They certainly knew one another a lot better now than they had on Monday night … even if it was only five days ago … and the truth was that he wanted it just as much as she did. He couldn't believe that he'd just spent the better part of three hours making out with her in the back seat of the movie theatre. It was like a return to his teens. But he couldn't be happier. Whenever he was with her he felt like he couldn't stop smiling. "Don't you think that we can last a week?" he teased knowing that at this point in time, it was more likely that he would be the one to break not her.

"We may not have any choice." Marissa replied.

Ryan frowned, puzzled by her reply. "I don't understand."

Marissa shrugged. "Well by my calculations, Mother Nature is about to intervene, so you'll have a few days where you won't have to worry about me attacking you." She said and then added with a smile. "Except with a knife. PMT can be a real pain." She laughed nervously. "And I mean that literally."

She'd never been so frank with a guy before. But then she'd never done a whole lot of things before that she'd done with him. And she intended to be doing a whole lot more yet. It seemed only right that she warn him about what was in store. Plus, if she was honest with herself, she felt a whole lot more comfortable with him than she'd ever felt with any guy before. But after all this time she didn't want him planning something and then her being the one to say no.

"Oh." Ryan wasn't sure what to say. Part of him could see that this could take a lot of pressure off them. But then another part was bitterly disappointed. Here he was having basically decided that they didn't need to wait any longer and she tells him that they mightn't have any choice.

Marissa wasn't sure what sort of reaction she'd expected but 'Oh' definitely wasn't it. She'd heard that it was possible to do it during menstruation but there was no way that she wanted to try that. "I know that you are supposed to be able to … you know … but I don't want …" she wanted this clear right from the start.

Ryan was startled by her reply. "No. Of course not." He replied wanting to reassure her. He could see that she was embarrassed and that was the last thing that he wanted. They'd come so far already. He didn't want her getting nervous and self conscious. "This … this will be good." He said. "We can take the time to get to know one another even better." He said and then hesitated as he tried to make himself believe what he was saying. Then he smiled as an idea came to mind. "But it hasn't started yet?" he asked.

Marissa could see the sparkle in his eyes from the street light. "No. Why?"

"It seems like we shouldn't waste the chances we have." he said as he brought his lips to hers and started kissing her again.

She smiled as she kissed him back. "I'm not sure what you're up to but I really should go." She said kissing him back. "I have work in the morning." She added as she began running her hands up inside his shirt and over his taut abs sending sparks of electricity through his body.

Ryan nodded. "Right …" he said between kisses. "You should go."

He grabbed a blanket from over the back and put it over them and as his tongue reinvaded her mouth, his hands began to explore her body, making short work of her shirt and bra … allowing his hands to mould themselves around her breasts.

Marissa melted into him.

His hands on her were gentle and coaxing and her whole being ignited at his touch. She had no idea if this was what experience enabled you to do but all she knew was that she couldn't get enough of him. His hands left a trail of fire as he rid her of her thong and moved towards her core.

She was pleased with herself for being able to get his fly undone even though her senses were overloading due to the things that he was doing to her. She firmly took his hardness in her hand and began to pump him in time with his fingers that were now thrusting inside her. She was rewarded by his hips bucking into her hand as they set up a frantic rhythm. His thumb was circling her nub and she knew that if he didn't come soon then she wouldn't be able to continue. Her body was about to explode.

She was teetering on the edge and it was all she could do to keep up her pumping of him and just as she was scared that she wasn't going to be able to continue, Ryan used his free hand that had been wrapped around her and grabbed for the t-shirt that she didn't even remember stripping off him and quickly forced it into his lap as he came in short sharp bursts, his body shuddering in release. Marissa couldn't help him, she was beyond the point of no return and she let herself go and the waves of her release left her trembling as she spasmed around his fingers.

When she had regained her composure a little she said breathlessly. "I do wish that you'd make up your mind." She said with a contented smile on her face.

"Me? Why?" Ryan asked innocently as he attempted to clean up.

"One minute you tell me I should be going … and the next minute you have me coming." She smiled as she snuggled into his bare chest under the soft blanket. "Is it any wonder I'm confused."

"If it's any help … I'm just as confused as you." He stated truthfully.

---

Ryan couldn't remember looking forward to anything quite as much as he did taking Marissa to meet the Cohen's. It was Saturday afternoon and he was sitting in his car outside the library waiting for her and all he could think about was what they would think of her.

When he'd called Kirsten back to confirm that there would in fact, be two of them coming … well … let's just say that fending off the Spanish Inquisition would have to have been easier.

There was no doubt that they were excited to meet her.

He had tried to analyse just why it was so important for him that they approve. But he had come to the scary realisation that much as he would like it … it actually didn't matter.

He hoped that the Cohen's would realise how special she was … but … if they didn't … then it wouldn't make any difference. He was completely smitten and nothing that they could say or do would change that.

But that didn't mean that he wouldn't be delighted to have their approval.

The reason that he was so excited about them all meeting was that he was hoping that perhaps Marissa would realise that what Sandy and Kirsten had was what Ryan was seeking.

Ryan was completely in awe of their relationship. These two people had so much love between them that it seemed to spill over onto those around them.

They were sweethearts.

They were lovers.

But most of all … they were friends.

They were partners in every sense of the word.

And that's what he had always hoped to find.

He wanted that sort of relationship. One that was built on trust and love.

And so far everything about Marissa pointed to her being the closest that he'd ever come to finding someone that he could feel that way about.

The girls in his past only helped to establish what he didn't want. It seemed that every moment he spent with Marissa only confirmed what he did want.

A smile broke out on his face as he noticed her leave the building and make her way towards his car but she was carrying a sizeable overnight bag with her that she was struggling with. He jumped out of the car to help her with it.

"Planning on staying a while?" he asked smiling and then lent in and kissed her sweetly.

Marissa couldn't help the huge smile that beamed across her face as his lips met hers. She knew that she shouldn't be this happy. The day was cold and overcast but it seemed that nothing could dampen her spirits.

"What's with the bag?" he said throwing it into the back seat of his car and then moving to open her door for her.

Marissa sat down in the passenger seat and explained. "I didn't know what to wear."

Ryan frowned … puzzled … but made his way to the driver's side and sat beside her and started the engine. "What you're wearing is fine." He said as he moved the car out onto the roadway.

"No way." Marissa commented. "We're going to meet your family and I want to make a good impression. I'm not wearing my work clothes." She said as if he'd just made a ridiculous suggestion.

"Sorry." He apologised "So what? You just decided to bring your wardrobe with you?" he said quizzically.

"Not even close." She laughed. "You'd need a bigger car if I wanted to do that. I just brought a couple of outfits for you to choose between. I thought that I should wear something nice. But then I was scared that I might be too dressed up so maybe I should be more casual … but then you mentioned that we would be building and so I thought that I should have some old clothes with me. And then I thought about wearing jeans …. But then I didn't know what top to wear. I just didn't know." She shook her head. "Anyhow … when I couldn't make up my mind I decided to bring them all and let you decide. I know that we're short of time so I figured that I'll just change in the car on the way there." She explained.

"You mean that you expect me to drive while you take your clothes off beside me?" he asked.

Marissa smiled at his reaction. "I'll be putting them on as well." She explained.

"Not if I can help it." he replied laughing.

"You're driving." Marissa pointed out.

"I can easily pull over." He smiled.

"Why is it that whenever we can't do anything then that's the times that you show the most interest?" she asked.

"Why is it that whenever we can't do it, that's when you tempt me the most?" he returned quickly.

"You mean that you weren't even tempted on Wednesday night?" she asked.

"I was very tempted and you know it." He laughed.

"There was nothing holding us back then." She stated clearly teasing him.

"I know. Don't remind me. I'm starting to think that I must have suffered from temporary insanity to not take what you were offering." He said. "But don't expect that sort of reaction again. I can assure you that it won't happen. Whatever was wrong with me back then, I've definitely recovered from."

"So now that I can't do it you're finally ready to see things through?" Marissa asked exasperated.

"Can't do it?" Ryan queried.

Marissa nodded. "Started today." She said resignedly.

Ryan looked disappointed but tried to remain positive. He took a deep sigh. "It's probably for the best. But please let me know when you're ready to go again. We have some unfinished business to attend to." He replied glancing at her, the longing clearly evident in his eyes.

Marissa gulped. Any doubt about his commitment completely removed. His words … the look in his eyes … he wanted this.

She was startled by her own body's reaction. She could feel the flames of desire simmering and she knew that it was going to be a long few days. Never had she wanted her period to be over so quickly.

"Sure." She replied meekly, watching as he navigated the traffic deftly. Wanting to change the subject from the dangerous but clearly frustrating topic at hand, she asked. "So what do you want me to wear?"

He glanced at her again; the flames of desire still clearly visible in his eyes and a slow smile appeared on his face.

She burst out laughing. "Don't even bother saying it. I am not meeting your family naked."

He shrugged. "Well you were the one that asked what I wanted you to wear."

"To meet your family. Remember. How dressed up should I get?" she asked.

"How about undressing … and we'll go from there." Ryan suggested.

Marissa playfully whacked him on the arm. "I'm serious."

"So am I." he replied playfully.

Glancing at what he was wearing she asked simply. "Jeans?"

He smiled. "Jeans is fine. Do you need some help getting out of that skirt?" he asked, his eyes telling her that he would be more than happy to help.

Marissa rolled her eyes. "Thanks. But I think I can manage." She said as she started to remove her skirt only to have his right hand swiftly join in, running up her legs and leaving a trail of sparks in its wake. She swatted it away. "I think that I'd better do it in the back seat." She said unbuckling her seat belt to make the move.

"I think that we already did." Ryan replied. "Or at least we got pretty close last night." He smiled.

Marissa returned the grin as she climbed into the back seat and removed her jeans from her bag. "We did, didn't we?" she said as she removed her skirt and noticed that Ryan was watching her intently in the rear vision mirror. "Eyes on the road." She instructed.

"You really are no fun." He replied.

"You didn't think that last night." She said.

"Yeah. That was then. This is now. And now … you're just teasing me." he said.

Marissa returned his smile in the mirror and then slowly began to unbutton her white work shirt, her eyes never leaving his as she watched him moving in his seat trying to get a better look at her reflection in the small mirror. "True." Marissa confessed. She stripped off her blouse and was left in a pale pink bra that was causing Ryan all sorts of trouble.

By now he was bobbing around in the front seat trying to get a better look at her assets in the small mirror.

Marissa laughed. "Do you have ants in your pants?" she asked as she searched around in her bag looking for a top.

"Very funny. There's certainly something in them thanks to you. Something that I need to get rid of before I get home to my family or they are going to wonder what you've been doing to me. I don't usually arrive with wood and right now if Sophie ran at me, I could poke her eye out." He explained. "How would you explain that?"

"Sophie's your little sister right?" Marissa asked.

"Yeah. She's four."

"Well … I don't think that I would be the one that would need to be explaining." Marissa offered. "But all that I can suggest is that you stay up close behind me. Maybe I can cover it for you."

Ryan shook his head. All Marissa's suggestion had done was to give him a picture of him taking her from behind and that was doing nothing to ease the hardness in his pants. In fact it was making it even worse. "You have a lot to learn and I'm going to enjoy teaching it to you." He stated.

Marissa smiled. "I'll look forward to it." She said as she pulled on a long sleeved patterned top and offered herself up for inspection. "How will this do?"

"Perfect." He stated. "But then you were even better without it." He smiled.

Marissa climbed back in to the front seat and buckled up. "So tell me about your family again." Ryan had explained it all last night but she just wanted to go over it. She wanted to make a good impression. "Who am I going to meet? And what should I call them?"

"My brother Seth is at college in Rhode Island, so you won't meet him until the holidays. But Sandy, Kirsten and Sophie will be more than enough for a first time visit to the Cohen's. You need to go into training to cope with Seth."

Marissa laughed. "I'm sure that he can't be that bad."

"He's not bad per se. But definitely 'unique.'" Ryan explained smiling.

Marissa looked at him sceptically.

"If you don't believe me ask Luke. Actually, if it comes to that ask Kirsten and Sandy … he may be their son but I'm sure that they would agree." He laughed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Sophie was standing on the lounge looking out through the window waiting for Ryan to arrive. As soon as his car turned into the driveway she was out the door in a flash and down the few stairs so that as he stepped from the car he was hit by a flying blonde. He reached down and pulled her into his arms.

"Hey Munchkin. How have you been?" he asked lifting her and twirling her around.

The little girl squealed with delight and then as soon as he stopped she instantly pouted. "I been missing you."

"I've been missing you too." Ryan replied hugging her tightly and then moving her to his hip as he made his way to the passenger side where Marissa was now standing discreetly watching the interaction. Ryan had warned her that Sophie may be a little tentative so she intended to take things slowly, hoping that the little girl would accept her if she saw that Marissa was no threat to Sophie's relationship with her brother.

Sophie eyed Marissa up and down and then gripped Ryan even more tightly burrowing her face in to Ryan's shoulder. Her mother had explained that Ryan was bringing a friend with him and that she needed to be nice to her but Sophie didn't understand why. She wanted Ryan all to herself. She didn't want to share him.

Ryan tried to prise the small fingers from around his neck. "I've brought a friend of mine to meet you." he explained. "This is Marissa …" and he was about to say more when Sandy and Kirsten emerged from the house.

"Thank goodness you're finally here. She's been sending us insane waiting for you." Kirsten commented and then seemingly without even taking a breath she added. "And you must be Marissa. Welcome. We're so excited to have you here." She said pulling Marissa into a hug.

Marissa was surprised but went with it. It felt genuine. It felt right. Not something that her mother would have ever done, she was much too standoffish, so it won points for Kirsten right off the bat.

"That goes for me too." Sandy added as he trailed up behind. "I'm Sandy by the way and that's Kirsten." He said offering his hand and indicating his wife with a nod of his head. "I figure that you would probably like to know more than my name before I take you in my arms." He laughed teasing his wife.

Kirsten quickly let go of Marissa and distanced herself a little. "Oh Sandy. Don't be awful. I'm just excited that's all." Kirsten replied.

Sandy looked at Ryan. "It's been touch and go, who was the most excited, Sophie or your mother? Me of course …" he shrugged. "not so much … took it all in my stride. It's what I do." He explained nonchalantly.

"Right." Ryan said sceptically knowing that Sandy was always pleased to see him.

"You're just as excited as I am." Kirsten corrected Sandy. "Who was up at the crack of dawn trying to get the tree house sorted out so that Ryan wouldn't get to see how hopeless you are?"

"Oh. Now you've offended me." Sandy said wide eyed to Kirsten. "And in front of our guest no less?" he added.

Ryan glanced at Marissa to see her reaction to what was being played out in front of her and she had a smile from ear to ear obviously enjoying it.

"Marissa I'm so sorry for my wife's behaviour." Sandy said.

"Really. It's fine." Marissa replied smiling.

"Well come on through and let's get a look at you." Kirsten said now turning her attention to Ryan and taking him by the arm just above his elbow and leading him towards the door. She squeezed his bicep a little and asked. "Are you losing weight? Have you been eating well? You know, I think that you should come by more often so I can feed you up or I could get a courier to deliver some meals to you. You're probably studying so hard you don't have enough time to cook for yourselves. How's Luke? Does he have a girlfriend yet? …"

Ryan smiled. He was used to this. Whenever it had been a while since he'd last seen them, Kirsten would fire off a million questions at once. Fortunately she didn't even wait for answers so he just needed to wait until the batteries ran down and then he'd be able to get a word in.

He sighed, waiting for his chance. "I'm eating well. Luke's fine. He has a dozen girls although the one that he wants is playing hard to get." Ryan said glancing over at Marissa and smiling as they locked eyes.

It didn't go unnoticed by both Sandy and Kirsten.

"Don't tell me that he's after Marissa?" Kirsten asked aghast.

"No." Ryan corrected the misapprehension. "He's got a bit of a thing for Marissa's room mate."

"Oh I see." Kirsten replied as Sandy added. "Well if she's anything like Marissa then I can understand why."

"Sandy!" Kirsten said embarrassed by her husband's comment.

"What? It's a compliment." He shrugged.

Kirsten rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry. You're still number 1 on my list." He told her pulling her into his arms.

"What list?" Kirsten asked pulling away. "If you even have a list then I'd better be every entry." She replied smiling and then turned her attention to Marissa. "Sorry about that. But you see, when Ryan and Luke first met they were both interested in the same girl. It caused a few problems until they got past it." She explained.

Marissa looked at Ryan waiting for more information but he looked decidedly uncomfortable.

"That was a long time ago." He said wanting to move on to other topics. He didn't need information about his past to come out. Marissa already knew that he was no blushing virgin and he couldn't see that her finding out any more details would improve the situation. "So let's go and see what's going on with this tree house." He said putting Sophie down. "There isn't much light left and it looks like it could start to rain soon so we may as well get as much done as we can before it begins."

"Can I come and help?" Sophie asked.

"Of course." Ryan said. "You can be chief organiser."

"What's an or…gan..iser?" she asked stumbling over the word.

"She keeps the workers supplied with drinks." Ryan informed her. "It's very important. Without that, they stop working and everything grinds to a halt and nothing gets done."

"Can Mommy help too?" She asked, deliberately leaving Marissa out of the equation.

"Of course." Ryan replied. "And I've got a special job for Marissa." He said making eyes at her.

Marissa glanced at him, her eyes telling him that she appreciated his thoughtfulness in including her but that it wasn't really necessary. "What's that?" she smiled.

"You can wipe my brow." He suggested, smiling as he moved to give her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek before heading out into the back yard.

---

It was already dark and a thunder storm wasn't far away, the occasional lightning bolt lighting up the sky. The wind was whipping up and making things difficult but Ryan insisted that he continue on. He wanted to get the roof fixed securely before the storm hit. Kirsten had long ago given up trying to make him see sense and had herded the girls inside out of the weather. Ryan had tried to get Sandy to join them but he had steadfastly refused, informing Ryan that he would go inside when Ryan did. And so he stood resolutely on the ladder passing Ryan whatever tools he needed as Ryan perched on the roof trying to fasten it.

Kirsten stood at the windows watching with concern. She wished that she'd just gotten the contractors to come and do it one day when Sandy was at work so that she didn't need to see Ryan precariously working on top of the roof in this awful weather. She should have known that once he started he wouldn't want to stop. Knowing that there was nothing that she could do to change his mind she started to prepare dinner hoping that it would get her mind off the fact that both her husband and son were flirting with danger. She knew that the few showers that they'd had so far had made the roof slippery and if Ryan wasn't careful he could fall at any moment. Plus even though she knew that it was unlikely, there was always the chance that they could be struck by lightning. None of these thoughts were doing anything to help her already anxious countenance.

Marissa was aware that Kirsten was on edge. I was obvious from her whole demeanour. She would have preferred Ryan to be safely inside too, but having watched him at work it was obvious that he knew what he was doing. And she couldn't help but enjoy the sight of Ryan with his shirt stripped off and just wearing a wife beater and jeans as he worked up quite a sweat. The sheen of perspiration, or maybe it was moisture from the light rain, either way she didn't care, was catching the outdoor light that they were working under and it made for quite a sight. She couldn't help but lust after him.

Sophie had been watching television since they'd come inside but she reappeared in the kitchen. "When's dinner. I'm hungry." She replied forlornly.

Kirsten glanced at her watch. It was way past when they would have normally eaten but she had been completely side tracked by what was going on in the back yard. "I have to make the salad yet so it will be a little while." she said. "But how about you go and have a bath and put your pyjamas on and I'll get dinner ready in the meantime." She said, wanting to pacify the little girl.

"But I want you to give me a bath." Sophie said. This day hadn't turned out at all how she had expected. Usually when Ryan came to visit he would spend all his time with her but he'd been too busy building her tree house to spend anytime with her at all. And even when he'd taken a short break to have a drink then he'd spent most of it talking to Marissa.

Kirsten rolled her eyes. "If I come and give you a bath then it will take even longer to get dinner ready and you don't want that. Maybe Marissa would be kind enough to help bath you." Kirsten suggested.

"Sure." Marissa replied. "I'd be happy too."

"I don't want her." Sophie said, glaring at Marissa. "I want you." She said turning to her mother.

Kirsten was mortified. "Sophie Cohen! Apologise this instant!"

"It's all right." Marissa said quickly trying to diffuse the situation. "Perhaps it would be better if I made the salad and you took on the bathing duties."

Kirsten looked at Marissa. "Are you sure?"

Marissa nodded. "I think that I can manage a salad, as long as you're not too fussy."

"Anything you do will be fine. My family put up with my feeble attempts at cooking for a lot of years before I learnt how to cook so they are pretty easy to please." Kirsten said looking at the young woman. "You should find everything you need in the fridge. Just call out if there's anything else you want."

Marissa nodded. "I'm sure that I can manage."

Kirsten then turned on Sophie. "As for you young lady, we need to have some serious words." She said as she marched Sophie out of the room and up the stairs.

---

A short time later Kirsten returned to the kitchen. "I'm really sorry about that. I know that she doesn't like to share her big brother but I'd never imagined that she would behave like that."

"It's okay." Marissa shrugged and then looking out the window to the scene in the back yard she added. "He is pretty great … so it's understandable."

Kirsten smiled watching Marissa watch Ryan. It was obvious to her that these two cared deeply for one another. "Yeah he is." She replied.

Marissa tore her eyes off Ryan and turned to Kirsten and asked. "Is she the same with Seth?"

"Not really. Don't get me wrong, she loves Seth. But she's grown up with Summer around so she's always had to share him." Kirsten explained. "Summer is Seth's girlfriend and they've been together since high school. Whereas, as far as she is concerned, Ryan has always been exclusively hers; even though he was with Taylor when she was born, they broke up soon after, and Sophie was too small to even remember her."

Marissa took it all in. She was surprised by the touch of jealousy that she felt coursing through her veins at the thought of Ryan with some other girl. "Were they together long?" she couldn't help herself. She had to ask. From the way that Kirsten spoke, Marissa knew that Taylor obviously wasn't a one night stand but a girl that he'd been serious about.

"Not that long. They'd known one another from school and they got together after graduation. Taylor was the one that he fell off the roof with." Kirsten explained.

"Fell off the roof?" Marissa queried.

"Didn't you realise? That's why I've been in such a state about trying to get him down from there. Back when we lived in Newport, Ryan was up on the roof putting up decorations and I'm not really sure how, but Taylor ended up there with him. Something happened and they both fell and ended up in hospital. It was one of the worst times of my life waiting at the hospital to see if he would regain consciousness. And not knowing how long it would take. That's why I just wish that he'd get off there before something else happens."

Now it was Marissa's turn to look out of the window concerned. For some reason Ryan had always appeared bullet-proof to her. She didn't like to think of the fact that he was normal and could get injured. Now she wanted him inside too.

Kirsten noticed the worried look on Marissa's face but she wasn't sure if it was for Ryan's current welfare or because she didn't like to think of him with another girl.

"Why did they break up?" Marissa asked softly, unable to keep the words to herself any longer.

Kirsten shrugged. "I don't know really know. It was quite some time ago, back when he was a freshman." She said and then wanting to reassure Marissa she added. "I think that they got together when they both needed someone and it burnt fairly intensely for a while there. But it burnt out very quickly. And you're the first girl that he's brought home since. Not that I believe that my son has been living like a monk. I know that he has a healthy sex drive. I first caught him making out with our old neighbour's daughter only a few weeks after he came to live with us." Kirsten laughed remembering back. At the time she hadn't been sure who was the most embarrassed. "She was the girl that Luke had been dating." She explained. "I'm not his biological mom so I guess its okay for me to admit that I know that he's hot. And I'm pretty sure that the girls at Berkeley are smart enough to have noticed. So I think that I can safely assume that he hasn't been lacking in female attention but we've never met any of them …. until you." She smiled at Marissa. "So he must think that you're something special."

Marissa blushed but couldn't help but be pleased by her words. "I don't know about that."

"I do." Kirsten replied smiling at Marissa's obvious discomfit. "But I guess that I'd better go and get madam out of the bath. I just wanted to check that you're under control here?"

Marissa smiled. She knew that Kirsten had only been trying to reassure her after mentioning Taylor but she appreciated it. "I'm fine. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Kirsten replied.

---

Kirsten and Sophie emerged a short time later to find Marissa setting the table.

"You don't have to do that." Kirsten commented. "You're supposed to be our guest."

Marissa smiled. "It's okay. Ever since you told me about Ryan falling off the roof, I've been thankful to have something to do. I just wish that they'd finish and come inside."

Almost on cue, the door opened and the two soggy men entered the room.

"You're finished?" Kirsten asked hopefully, she was scared that they were just taking a break and would attempt to go back out again.

Ryan nodded. "At least for now. The roof's secure so it won't go flying off in the storm. The finishing touches can wait until another day." He explained.

"Yeah. A FINE day." Sandy suggested shaking his head to get some of the water out of his hair. "I think that I might go and grab a shower and get into some dry clothes." He said and then turned to Ryan. "You should probably do the same." He suggested.

"I think that I might." Ryan answered looking at Marissa and drinking in the sight of her looking comfortable moving around his home. What he really wanted to do was take her in his arms and give her a thorough kissing but he guessed that that would have to wait a little.

"You should have plenty of clean clothes in your room." Kirsten said addressing Ryan. "But if you need anything else then just let me know."

"I'm sure that I'll be fine." He smiled. "And dinner smells great." He said taking in the aroma that was wafting around the kitchen.

"It's only lasagne but I know that you like it." Kirsten explained.

"Mmm. I do. I won't be long." He said as he started for the hallway only to switch directions and take the long way around so that he could pass Marissa and give her a kiss on his way by.

She smiled as she returned the kiss shyly, aware that they were in full view of his parents. "Go and have your shower." She said. "You're wet."

"How about volunteering to scrub my back?" he asked quietly, however Marissa was sure that his parents could over hear.

Marissa blushed. "Maybe some other time." She whispered back.

"I'll hold you to that." Ryan replied softly as he made his way out of the room.

Kirsten turned to Sophie. "Quickly young lady, we need to get that hair done in a hurry because the men are going to be back soon looking to be fed. I'm sure that they've worked up quite an appetite working on your tree house."

Marissa hesitated, thinking about it before opening her mouth and then offered. "I could do it." She suggested to Kirsten and then turned her attention to Sophie. "If you like?"

Sophie eyes were like large saucers as she looked from Marissa to her mother. She didn't want Marissa to do her hair but after the talking to, that her mother had given her earlier she knew that she really didn't have a choice. She HAD to be nice to Marissa. Kirsten was frowning at her waiting for her to reply. "I guess." Sophie said shrugging her shoulders making it obvious that she was doing it under sufferance.

"Okay." Marissa replied wondering what she had taken on. "Let's go and see what we can do." She suggested as Sophie climbed on to a chair in front of the television.

---

When Ryan returned to the kitchen a short time later, it was all Marissa could do to keep her hands to herself. He was freshly showered and had pulled on a pair of light grey sweats and a wife beater and was drying his hair with a towel. The sweats rode low on his hips and Marissa wondered how it was that he could look even hotter with clothes on than without. Not that he didn't look hot without, Marissa reminded herself but still …

She was momentarily stunned looking at him.

Just long enough for Sophie to throw herself at him. "Ryan, look at me?" she said.

He tore his eyes from Marissa and addressed the little blonde that was now wrapped around his legs. "Don't you look pretty?" Ryan suggested as he lifted her into his arms.

"Marissa made me into a princess." Sophie said turning her head from side to side so that Ryan could admire her blonde locks piled high on her head.

"Well she did a very good job because that's just what you look like. A beautiful princess." He confirmed.

"And I told Marissa that she could do my hair anytime." Sophie confided in him.

"I might let her do my hair too." Ryan suggested looking at Marissa. "What's my chances?" he asked.

Marissa smiled at him. "Are we still talking about hair?" she asked and then blushed as she realised that Sandy and Kirsten were watching the byplay.

Ryan noticed her reaction and then turned to see his parents watching them. He burst out laughing. "Don't worry about them. They taught me all that I know."

Sandy held up his hands in mock surrender. "I may have taught you a lot of things but I think that's something that you had down pat from the time you arrived from Chino."

Ryan blushed. "Maybe you're right."

Kirsten could see Ryan's discomfit and so she interrupted and said. "How about everyone sit at the table and I'll serve up."

Sandy turned to her knowing exactly what she was doing. "Sounds great. I'm starved."

---

After dinner the weather was wilder than ever. The rain pelted against the windows of the house and Ryan and Marissa were easily convinced to stay for a while and watch a movie. They hoped that the storm would pass and they'd be able to go home once things settled down.

Sophie was exhausted and fell asleep on Ryan's lap within minutes of them settling down in front of the television. He went and tucked her in bed and then joined Marissa back on the couch, pulling her close as Sandy and Kirsten settled on watching Ocean's Eleven, much to Ryan and Marissa's amusement, which didn't go unnoticed by the older couple.

"Is there a problem with our choice? You did say that you didn't care what we watched." Sandy asked.

"No." Ryan replied. "We just went to see Ocean's Thirteen last night." He explained.

"Was it any good?" Kirsten asked. "I thought that we might like to go and see that."

Ryan looked at Marissa and then they both burst out laughing. Ryan eventually pulled himself together. "We sort of missed a bit. So we're not really sure."

"'Missed' … as in you were late getting there? Or 'missed' as in you were otherwise occupied?" Sandy asked and then noticing Marissa's pink hue he added. "There's no need to answer that. I may be old but I still remember what it was like making out in the movies. Actually there's probably a good chance that it was the same theatre. When Kirsten and I were at Berkeley we didn't get to see the end of too many movies either."

Ryan couldn't explain why the thought of he and Marissa following in Sandy and Kirsten's footsteps meant so much to him …. But it did.

They all settled down to watch the movie but by the time that it was over the rain didn't seem to have let up at all. In fact, if possible, it was even worse.

"There is no way that you are going out in that." Kirsten remarked as they watched the credits roll. She'd had suggested earlier that Ryan and Marissa stay for the night but they had declined her offer, knowing that Marissa had work in the morning.

Ryan looked out the window at the fury outside and turned to Marissa. "What do you think? We could just get up early and get you back in time for work? But if you want to go now then I'm happy to do it."

Marissa looked out the window at the raging storm and hesitated. She hadn't really come away prepared to stay the night but in light of the weather it did seem like the safest alternative. "I'm on late shift tomorrow, so I don't start to 10, so I guess …" she shrugged. It was obvious that she was torn.

But before she got another word out, a newsflash came onto the television asking all people to stay off the road unless it was absolutely necessary. There had been power failures in some areas and with the traffic lights out there had been a number of traffic incidents resulting in the emergency services being stretched beyond their limit. Added to that there was flash flooding in other areas that was making road conditions extremely dangerous.

Kirsten took it all in and then stated definitively. "There's no question. You're staying. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you. The bed's made up in Ryan's room. Just stay the night and you can leave as early as you like in the morning."

"I have to agree with her." Sandy stated. "There's no point in taking unnecessary risks."

Ryan looked at Marissa making it obvious that the call was hers. She shrugged and said. "I guess that it makes sense."

He smiled obviously happy with the result. "It does." He agreed. But he could still sense her apprehension. "As long as you're sure?"

Marissa nodded.

Kirsten stood up. "Good. Ryan, you know where everything is. If you need anything then just let me know." She turned to Marissa. "I'm guessing that you'll be happy to sleep in one of Ryan's shirts but if you'd rather borrow something of mine ..."

"She mightn't sleep in anything?" Sandy said, the teasing directed at his wife. "You shouldn't be so presumptuous."

Marissa blushed a fiery red. She could feel herself burning up and Ryan swiftly came to her rescue. "I'm sure that we'll be fine." He said as he took Marissa's hand and led her towards his room. "Good night." He offered up, as Sandy and Kirsten turned to wander off in the other direction towards their own room.

Kirsten was whacking Sandy as she went and saying. "Why did you say something like that? How do you think that she feels? She'll never want to come and visit us again …"

---

When Marissa entered Ryan's room it was obvious that something was amiss. She seemed fidgety and nervous and Ryan presumed that he knew why.

"If you don't want to sleep with me, then that's okay. You can have my bed and I'll go and sleep in Seth's room." He suggested.

"It's not that." Marissa said as she went to her hand bag that had been lying on his bed and started to riffle through it.

"Then what is it? And what are you looking for?" Ryan asked.

Marissa turned to him and sat down on the end of the bed. It was obvious that whatever she was looking for, she hadn't found. "I sort of need something." She said regretfully.

Ryan frowned. "Knowing Kirsten there will be spare toothbrushes in my bathroom." He explained, thinking that that was what she was probably looking for.

Marissa shook her head. "I'm afraid that I don't imagine that this is something that she'd keep spares of for you."

"What do you need?" he asked puzzled.

Marissa looked at him embarrassed. "Tampons?" she said and then added. "I only brought a couple of spares with me because I hadn't considered that we might stay the night." She said trying to explain and then added "I was sort of hoping that I might find a long forgotten stash in here somewhere." She said indicating her hand bag. "But I guess that I'm too tidy for my own good." She shrugged.

Ryan smiled. "You're right. I don't think that you'll find any of those in my bathroom. But I'm sure that Kirsten would have some that you could borrow." He could see how uncomfortable she was feeling and so he added. "Would you like me to go and ask her for you?" He didn't really want to go and ask Kirsten for tampons but he would do anything to make Marissa more at ease.

Marissa sighed. "You don't have to do that. I'll go. I guess that it's just not one of the conversations that I was planning on having with your mother." She moved towards the door. "I'd better go now before she goes to bed. The only thing worse than having to ask her would be to have to wake her up to ask her." Marissa said as she left the room and headed back the way that they'd come. But she got no further than the kitchen because Kirsten was still there tidying up.

She looked up as Marissa re-entered the room. "Hi. Did you need something?" she asked pleasantly. She could see that Marissa was uncomfortable and so she added. "I do apologise for my husband's earlier comments. Sometimes I just don't know where he gets it from? If you'd like to borrow anything please just let me know."

Marissa smiled her thanks. It was obvious that Kirsten was trying her best to make Marissa feel at home. "Thanks. I just … it's just …" there really was no easy way to say this. "I wondered if I might be able to borrow some tampons." She finally got out.

Kirsten smiled at the young woman. "Of course. I'm sorry that I hadn't even considered the possibility." She said as she realised why Marissa had been reluctant to stay the night. Kirsten moved towards the guest bathroom and beckoned for Marissa to follow. "I keep some spares in here if you ever need them." She said reaching into the back of the cupboard and placing a small box in Marissa's hand.

"Thank you. I'm sorry to be such a bother."

"It's no bother at all." She could see that Marissa was embarrassed and she wanted to reassure her. "In fact, it's reassuring." She laughed trying to put Marissa at ease. "At least we know that we'll get a good night's sleep and won't be kept awake all night by the sounds of your bedroom activities." She said, thinking about the times that they'd spent under the same roof as Ryan and Taylor, only to be confronted by Marissa's panic stricken face as the meaning of her words settled in.

"Oh no. We've never … I've never …" Marissa muttered out and then, completely mortified, she turned and fled.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 **

Marissa quickly made her way back into Ryan's room, blushing all the way. She didn't know what to make of it all. She was sure that Kirsten's intention hadn't been to make her feel inadequate but all she'd done was make Marissa realise just how different she was from what they considered 'normal'.

Kirsten and Sandy were wonderful, but it was obvious that they found it natural to accept Ryan and whoever he was with, as his bed partner. No doubt over the years, he'd had a few. And sure that's what she'd wanted to be at first but she had come to realise today that she wanted more than that.

She wanted to be part of this unconventional 'family'.

It was nothing like what she'd grown up with. These people all cared deeply for one another and that was more important than anything. You could see it in their eyes, their actions, their teasing of one another.

She didn't want to just sleep with Ryan anymore ... although she certainly wanted to do that. But now, she wanted more.

She wanted to be his partner. She wanted to be his ONLY partner. She hated to think of him with anyone else. And not just in bed.

The realisation was like walking into a brick wall.

She stood at the end of the bed wondering how she was meant to proceed now that she had this new realisation on board.

She was still standing there stunned when Ryan walked in from the bathroom. He was wiping his mouth on a towel, having obviously just cleaned his teeth and said "All set? I got out a new toothbrush and left it on the counter for you and there's a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt there as well." He looked at her wondering why she hadn't moved. "Earth to Marissa? Is everything okay?" he asked.

Startled by his comments, Marissa opened her hand to look at the small box of tampons in her hand.

"Are they okay? Is there something wrong with them?" He asked concerned.

"Um … No … they're fine." She said. "I might just go and have a shower." She said indicating the bathroom.

"O … kay." Ryan said realising that she wasn't quite telling him everything. There was definitely something here that he was missing. "Do you need your bag from the car? If you want I can go and get it?" he said listening to the wind and rain outside and hoping that she would say no.

"Um... no." Marissa replied. "Maybe in the morning. I have fresh clothes in there, but I don't need them for now."

"U huh." Ryan said standing beside the bed as Marissa moved towards the adjoining bathroom. "Um … do you have a preference for side?" he asked.

Marissa paused for a moment looking at him as if he'd just asked her for the recipe for world peace. "I have no idea. I've never actually slept with someone before." She said, realising just how different they really were. "So I guess that anything is fine. You choose." She said as she moved away into the adjoining bathroom and out of earshot.

Ryan smiled. His heart swollen with love. "I already have." He said softly, following her with his eyes.

---

Marissa woke early the next morning but she couldn't move.

Nor did she want to.

Ryan was spooned around her body, his muscled arms around her and he was holding her hand. He was so close; she could feel his warm breath on her shoulder.

She had no idea how long they had been in that position but if she had her way she would never move. The feeling of having him so near was something that she wanted to maintain for as long as possible.

They'd fallen asleep last night cuddled together and listening to the rain and wind outside. It was wonderful. Ryan was the perfect gentleman and had not even attempted to take things any further. They'd shared a goodnight kiss and he'd held her close but that was all.

She had wondered if he may have wanted her to take care of him even though things were off limits for her right now. She even offered to do so but he'd politely declined telling her that he would rather wait until they could enjoy it together. And so it was only in Marissa's own mind, that things had heated up and she had to admit to several R rated dreams that had filled her sleeping hours. She now had to get her mind off them. They could lead to nothing but frustration at the present time.

Wondering how she was going to do that with him so near, she was surprised to hear a rustle at the door and looked up to see Sophie standing there.

"Good Morning." Marissa greeted the small girl.

"Good Morning." Came the somewhat reluctant reply.

Marissa then felt Ryan stir beside her obviously disturbed by the sounds. She was surprised by the feeling off loss that came over her as he unwrapped himself from her but then he lent in and kissed her sweetly. "Good morning." He said addressing himself completely to Marissa. And, not even realising that they had an audience, he moved to deepen the kiss.

Marissa wanted to lose herself in it but she knew that now was not really the right time. She pulled back and whispered. "We have a visitor."

Ryan turned and for the first time spotted Sophie standing sullenly by the door. "Hello Munchkin? What are you doing there? You usually crawl into bed with me for a cuddle to wake me up?"

"There wasn't any room." Sophie stated tersely.

Ryan frowned. He had hoped that after the hair incident last night that Sophie would have gotten over her petty jealousy of Marissa.

"There's plenty of room. It's a big bed." He said arms outstretched for her to join them.

Sophie took a couple of steps towards the bed, still unsure.

Ryan had made a spot for her beside him on the opposite side to Marissa but … much as she didn't want to cuddle Marissa; she knew that if she was between them, then Ryan wouldn't even be able to reach Marissa. So she climbed into the end of the bed and wiggled her way in between them and then instantly turned her back on Marissa to focus her full attention on Ryan.

Ryan felt bad. He knew that Sophie's actions were obvious and he didn't want Marissa to be offended by them. He wondered if maybe he should have spent more time yesterday trying to sort this all out. But he hoped that Marissa realised that Sophie was just a little girl that didn't know any better.

Marissa lay there knowing that she had been deliberately excluded and tried hard not to take offence. She couldn't really blame the child for wanting Ryan all to herself. She didn't think that, if given the chance, she'd be any different. She could smell the aroma of freshly brewed coffee coming through the still opened door and so she decided that it was probably better to give Sophie and Ryan some time together. Sitting up she said. "I think that I might go and get a coffee. Would you like one too?"

Ryan looked at her and smiled. "I'd love one. Are you sure that you don't want me to go?"

Marissa shook her head. "It's fine. I need to use the bathroom anyhow." She said making her way from the room.

---

Marissa walked into the kitchen hoping to find it empty but no such luck. Kirsten was sitting at the counter reading the paper, mug of coffee in hand.

She glanced up and Marissa hesitated, wanting nothing more than to turn and run. But then she'd done that last night. To disappear now would only make things worse.

Kirsten looked shamefacedly at her. "Marissa. I'm so sorry about what I said last night. You must think that I'm awful. I barely slept because I kept thinking about it. I didn't realise that you weren't … You seem so right together … I just assumed …" she knew that she was getting no where and so she tried to start again. "I never for a moment imagined … I thought that …" she began again … wondering how she could possibly make amends and then finally chose to just say. "I mean … I know what Ryan's like … but if you're not ready then don't let him pressure you into anything. Just because he's …" she sought the right word. It seemed that her vocabulary had deserted her completely. She sighed and finally said "Experienced!" "Your first time should be special …" she added.

"It's not like that." Marissa cut in. She didn't want Kirsten to think that Ryan was pressuring her. "I'm ready." She stated clearly. "Ryan's the one that wants to wait." she said truthfully.

Kirsten was dumbfounded. Never, in all the time she'd spent lying awake last night running through scenarios, had she expected this. "**Ryan** wants to wait?" she asked rhetorically. Kirsten was stunned. It was obvious to her, that Ryan was head over heels for this girl. And he certainly wasn't the kind of guy to hold back with the physical stuff so why ????

Marissa nodded.

"But why?" Kirsten couldn't help but ask. "He's obviously crazy about you. I don't understand." Suddenly, all sorts of things started running through Kirsten's brain and none of them were good. Did he have some sort of STD that he didn't want to spread? It seemed to be the only thing that made any sense. She knew that the scare with Theresa hadn't turned him celibate. Anyone who lived with him during the 'Taylor phase" knew that he enjoyed 'plying his wares'. And he was obviously very good at it from Taylor's reports. Kirsten cringed as she thought about the detail that Taylor seemed to think that Kirsten would want to share in. She hadn't known at the time whether to be disgusted or proud.

And she was sure that there would have been plenty of other girls since. He wouldn't have spent the last three years twiddling his thumbs. Although even she couldn't imagine that he'd been with as many girls as Seth liked to report.

But then why was he holding back with Marissa unless it was something like that? If that was the case then he needed to be honest with Marissa and tell her what they were up against. Maybe that was why she thought he'd lost a little weight. Was he getting the right treatment for it? Kirsten started to panic. It looked like Ryan's promiscuous ways had finally caught up with him.

"I thought that you may have been able to help me with that?" Marissa answered.

There was no way that Kirsten was going to have this conversation with Marissa. She'd already over stepped the familiarity line with her. Ryan needed to deal with this himself. Kirsten shook her head in denial. "He is obviously attracted to you, he can barely take his eyes off you, and he brought you home to meet us. He's never done that before. If he's holding out on you then there has to be a reason why. All I can suggest is that you ask him. One thing I do know about him is that he can't lie. He may choose to not come out and tell you things straight up, but that's as close as he can get. If you ask the right question then you'll get your answer."

Marissa nodded, taking in everything that Kirsten said, knowing that she knew Ryan probably better than anyone … except maybe Seth.

Kirsten added. "But whatever it is … there will be a reason. One thing I have come to know about my son over the years is that he thinks everything through. He rarely makes rash decisions. He's made a few in his life but he's learnt from all of them. Don't assume that because he and Luke are friends that they are anything alike. Ryan rarely does anything without due consideration. My mother used to say 'Still waters run deep' and that phrase was never more true than when applied to Ryan. But … having said that … it's worth finding out. Look beneath the surface … there's pure gold underneath." Kirsten implored. If her suspicions were correct, then Ryan would need Marissa to stand by him until everything was clear. She just hoped that she was wrong and that there was some other reason for his actions. But she couldn't think of one.

Marissa took in everything that Kirsten had said. She realised that she'd never actually asked Ryan why it was so important to wait. She hadn't felt confident enough before to push the point …. But maybe now …. She knew that he'd now accepted that they would do it soon but still … something had made him hesitate at the start. It looked like they needed to have a little chat. Marissa nodded wanting to reassure Kirsten that she would take her advice. "Thanks. I think I might do that." She replied. "But I was just going to get some coffee if that's okay?" She asked.

"Certainly" Kirsten replied, smiling at the young lady that she suspected had captured her son's heart. "The mugs are in the cupboard on the right and Ryan's favourite is the blue one."

---

Mugs filled, Marissa moved back towards Ryan's room but just as she neared the door she hesitated, wondering what sort of reception she was going to get from Sophie this time. She thought that it wouldn't hurt to be forewarned if she was walking into the eye of a storm. She imagined that she had been the main topic of conversation during her absence but she was still surprised by what she overheard.

Ryan was talking to Sophie. "When Seth's home do you take some of the love you have for me, to give to him, so I get less?"

"No." The little girl insisted. "I always love you lots." she replied, wanting Ryan to know how important he was to her. "Seth's got his own love."

"That's what I thought. And I'll always love you lots too. But don't you see, the more people we have to love, the more we can love. Our hearts just swell up until they hold even more. It's what makes us feel so good when we all get together." He said and then continued. "And that's the same with Marissa."

There was silence from Sophie as she considered this new information. She certainly had to agree that having all the people she loved together always made her feel extra good. They were special times. "Do you love her?" she asked.

Ryan hesitated. "I know that she makes me happy whenever I'm with her. And whenever we're not together I can't stop thinking about her. So I think that I might." He explained. "Is that going to be a problem for you?" he asked.

Sophie thought for a moment and then answered "Not if you still love me."

"I'll always love you. Nothing could stop me." Ryan replied.

Marissa didn't know what to do. But she knew that she had to move in a hurry before she spilt coffee everywhere. She was starting to tremble as Ryan's words sunk in.

He MIGHT.

HE MIGHT ... was all that she could think of.

She coughed slightly to let them know that she was there and moved into the room, stopping any further discussion.

Ryan's face lit up as he saw her. She placed the coffees down on the table beside him and sat on the edge of the bed before her legs gave out under her.

He MIGHT.

She tried to wrap her head around the idea but it was almost too much to take in.

He MIGHT.

She could feel her heart racing as her brain tried to comprehend all that this could mean.

He MIGHT.

She needed some space to try to calm down. Sitting beside him wasn't helping at all. "I think that I'll go and have a shower." She informed him.

"What about your coffee?" Ryan asked.

"It's too hot anyhow. I'll drink it when I get out." She explained.

"Okay. I'll just finish mine and then I'll go and get your bag out of the car." Ryan suggested.

"Okay. Thanks." Marissa said and quickly left the room before it became obvious that she could barely breathe.

---

Marissa had calmed down a little. She was wrapped in a fluffy towel and was drying her hair in the bathroom when Ryan knocked on the door. She opened it to find him holding her overnight bag.

"I thought that you may need this?" he asked offering it to her.

"Thanks." She replied taking it from him. Their fingers touched and she could feel the sparks fly between them. She glanced at him and she could see her need reflected in his eyes. Ryan quickly stepped into the room and closed the door, pulling her into his arms as he brought his lips to hers, their tongues entwining in a feverish dance.

After what seemed like nothing more than a few moments he pulled back. "I've been wanting to do that since I woke up." He explained touching his forehead to hers. "And if my little sister wasn't lying in my bed outside this door then I promise you that I'd be doing a whole lot more." He suggested running his hands up and down her bare arms.

Marissa was trying desperately to take deep breaths to get her breathing under control. The truth was that she wanted nothing more than to see what he'd had in mind.

"You'd better get dressed or I won't be responsible for my actions." He smiled.

Marissa smiled. "Okay. Just give me a minute and I'll be done."

Ryan smiled. "You're not even close to being done … and I assure you that when you are … I'll be the one 'doing' you."

---

Marissa emerged from the bathroom only a few minutes later to find Sophie and Ryan cuddling in the bed.

Ryan looked up as she entered the room. "I guess that it's my turn." He said.

"I guess so." She remarked.

"I won't be long. Kirsten is out there cooking us a gigantic breakfast and after we've eaten that we'll head off." He suggested. "We'll have you back in plenty of time for work."

Marissa nodded. "Sure. Sounds good." She replied.

As Ryan headed off into the bathroom, Marissa packed her bag, putting the dirty clothes from yesterday away and she'd almost forgotten about the little girl still entwined in the covers until her voice interrupted Marissa's thoughts.

"You know Ryan?" Sophie asked softly.

Marissa smiled. "Yes. I know Ryan."

"Well …" Sophie started and then hesitated and Marissa couldn't help but wonder what was going to come next. It was obvious that the small girl was giving this a lot of thought.

"Well?" Marissa asked prompting her.

"Well … we'll share." She offered up as if it was a magnanimous gesture of compromise.

Marissa smiled. She knew that it was as good an offer as she was ever likely to get. No one in their right mind would ever give up Ryan. "I'd like that." She said softly, smiling indulgently at the small girl.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

On the ride back to Berkeley, Ryan took the opportunity to quiz Marissa about her birthday.

"So … a week today and you'll be officially an adult." He said.

"Yeah. But will I still be officially a virgin?" she asked him, looking for some sign of what he was intending. Ever since his rejection of her advances at the fateful dinner on Wednesday night, she'd decided to leave it all up to him. She'd resigned herself to the fact that he was going to make her wait until her birthday and she was trying to come to terms with that. She wasn't about to try to instigate things again, only to end up being rejected again.

Ryan smiled. "Is that all you want for your birthday?" he asked hoping that he might get some ideas.

"All I want for my birthday is you, nicely gift wrapped … with a bow." She suggested smiling.

"I'm assuming that you want that tied around my neck?" he asked. Having something tied around his neck only made him start to think about collars and leashes and that was doing him no good when he knew that they still had a few days before things would be clear.

Marissa shook her head slowly, taunting him, a smile across her face. "I was thinking of another part of your body." She said, slowly running her hand up his thigh.

They weren't on the same page but it seemed that she had ideas of her own. Ryan placed his hand on top of hers clamping it in place. "You tease. You know that you have to be at work soon and so that's going to lead no where."

"I do know where it leads." She teased trying to get her hand free again to let it continue on its trail towards his crotch.

"I'm sure that you do." Ryan replied. "Just as you know just what sort of affect you can have on it." He said feeling his dick start to stiffen at her touch. Between his bondage thoughts and her attentions it seemed to have jumped to attention, which it did a lot of, whenever she was near. "But not right now." He said holding on even more firmly to her hand. "What time do you finish tonight? Maybe we could do something?" he asked. Even the thought of spending the next few hours without her was depressing.

"I don't finish until 6. But then I really need to go home and spend some time with Molly. I promised her on Friday that we'd get together sometime over the weekend and talk about her plans for next weekend." Marissa informed him. "She wants to throw me a birthday party on Sunday night. And what she wants and what I'm prepared to be a part of, are totally different things."

Ryan wasn't surprised.

"But someone seems to have taken up all of my free time and the weekend has basically disappeared without us even having crossed paths. She was still in bed when I left yesterday morning." She explained.

"So you didn't have a good time this weekend?" Ryan asked, knowing that besides work, she'd spent basically all of her time with him.

She leant over and kissed him sweetly. "You know that I've had a great time. But I still think that's it's in my best interests to make sure that I catch up with her tonight. Otherwise she'll make all the plans herself and that's not something that I even want to contemplate. If I'm going to be the guest of honour then I'd like to have a little control over what's going to happen."

Ryan smiled. It meant so much to him that she'd enjoyed herself at his home but it didn't surprise him that Marissa and Molly would have quite different tastes when it came to parties. "So what sort of party is this going to be?"

"Well Molly would like it to be at the sports bar with everyone she knows." Marissa laughed. "No doubt with lots of drunken debauchery."

Ryan smiled. "Sounds like fun." He teased.

Marissa frowned playfully. "However, I've convinced her that I'd rather just have something a little more dignified at our place."

"So it's going to be small?" Ryan asked.

Marissa nodded. "You've seen our place. If we get 10 people in there then that will pretty much fill it up. It has to be small."

"So what's my chances of getting an invite?" he asked.

"If you play your cards right, you could be at the top of the list." Marissa replied.

Ryan tried to look surprised at her words but failed miserably and she burst out laughing.

"You might even get a special invite." Marissa suggested.

"Tell me more?" Ryan asked.

"Maybe …" Marissa hesitated. They'd come so far and yet she still felt that she was on shaky ground. She started again. "I was thinking that … if you had no other plans that … you might like to sleep over after it?" she glanced up to see his reaction. They hadn't actually spoken about where or when 'IT' was finally going to happen but she figured that this would be as good an opportunity as any. "I thought that you'd be able to maybe give me my present after everyone else has left." She suggested.

"You want a present too?" Ryan asked smiling. "I thought that my 'presence' would be enough." he teased.

"It depends on where you're making your 'presence' felt?" Marissa retorted.

Ryan laughed. "You'll feel it all right. I promise." He could hardly wait; his semi-hard dick thickening, at just the thought of what was to come. It remained to be seen how he would manage to last another week.

"I must admit that that doesn't surprise me. I'm more concerned that it won't fit." Marissa replied truthfully. Now that she'd seen it up close and personal, she did have to wonder.

Ryan could sense the uncertainty behind her playful banter and replied softly. "We'll take it really slowly. I won't do anything until you feel that you're ready." Now he was the one that was feeling uncertain. The last thing that he wanted to do was to hurt her. He'd never forgive himself. He tried to sound upbeat and confident. "I'm sure that it will be just the right size." He replied softly trying to reassure her. He closed his eyes briefly as his mind contemplated what it would feel like to finally be inside her. He quickly opened them again knowing that he couldn't allow himself to get lost in those thoughts. Not now. Not yet.

Marissa nodded, taken again by his thoughtfulness in trying to make her feel at ease.

"So I need to get in to your good books to wangle a special invite to the party hey? How about I cook you dinner at my place tomorrow night? With a bit of luck, Luke will go to the gym and annoy Molly so we should have the place to ourselves for at least a little while?" he asked as they pulled up in front of the library.

"Dinner tomorrow sounds great." Marissa replied thinking that it may give her the chance to talk to him as Kirsten had suggested and find out why he had been so reluctant to make things happen at the beginning. She hadn't wanted to ask him while he was driving, preferring to wait until she could have his full attention. Tomorrow night would be the perfect opportunity. She started to get out of the car, only to be held back by Ryan as he placed a hand on her arm.

"You're not getting away that quickly." He replied pulling her into his arms as his lips found hers.

Their tongues met and for a moment everything else in the world faded into insignificance. The promise of things to come hung in the air. Finally Marissa pulled back. "I really had better go." She said regretfully.

Ryan nodded his acceptance reluctantly. "I'll drop your bag off at your place on the way home if you like? That way you don't have to carry it." He suggested, knowing that he needed to see Molly anyhow. He wanted to quiz her about some ideas he had for Marissa's birthday and see what she had planned. They needed to make sure that they were in sync. Plus he was going to need Molly's help anyway if he was going to achieve what he had in mind.

"Okay. Thanks. Molly should be there to let you in. She never gets out of bed before noon on a Sunday." Marissa explained.

Ryan nodded. That news didn't surprise him given Molly's partying ways. She probably hadn't been in bed for long.

"So I'll see you tomorrow at lunch and we'll sort out about tomorrow night?" She asked.

"Sounds good." He replied as he watched her close the door and walk off, turning as she went to wave to him.

He didn't move until she was completely out of sight, wanting to drink in the sight of her for as long as possible. Once she was finally gone, he started the car and drove off.

---

After finishing his discussions with Molly, Ryan decided to go straight home. It had taken him a little while to calm her down and talk her around but he thought that by the time that he'd left, that she was supportive of what he had planned, even volunteering to help where she could. He wished that he'd remembered before he went to visit her, that Marissa had mentioned on Friday that he wasn't in Molly's good books. She had quite a head of stem up as she accused him of messing with Marissa's feelings and not carrying through with the task that she'd originally sent him to do. But once he had assured her that he fully intended to make things right then she seemed to settle down. He now knew that he could count on her for her support. But he still hadn't told her everything. He didn't know her that well and he'd grown up with Seth who found it impossible to keep a secret. And so Ryan figured that the less people that knew exactly what he had planned the better. That way there would be very little chance of Marissa's surprise being spoiled.

He was attempting to finish an assignment on Sunday evening, which was no small task, given that he didn't seem to be able to go for more than a few minutes at a time, without having thoughts of Marissa flood his brain. He'd been at it ever since he'd returned home, reasoning that he needed to get as much work as possible out of the way early in the week because he wouldn't have any spare time at the end of the week. He wanted to be able to dedicate all his efforts to making Marissa's first time and her birthday as special as possible. Luke had been MIA all day so Ryan hadn't been able to run his ideas by him which was causing him a few concerns because unless he could get Luke to agree then he would be back to square one with his planning.

Losing his concentration in thoughts of Marissa yet again, he decided to take a break and get something to eat, when he was startled by the ring of his phone. Pausing to look at the id, he smiled and answered. "Hey."

"Hey." Seth answered. "How's it hanging?"

"None of your business." Ryan replied good-humouredly.

"But I hear that it's someone's business." Seth taunted.

"Yes. It's mine." Ryan stated flatly.

"And ….." Seth started. "What's her name again?"

"Who's name?" Ryan asked trying to sound totally clueless.

"Don't give me that. It's bad enough that you've got a new girl friend that you haven't even bothered to tell me about. Is she there with you now?" Seth asked.

"Who?" Ryan asked again starting to enjoy the game. "And who said that I have a new girl friend?" Ryan asked knowing exactly where Seth's information would have come from. The Cohen telegraph worked very well indeed. It was just a question of whether it was Sandy or Kirsten who spilled the beans … Probably both.

"Ryan." Seth said trying to sound exasperated. "I've been talking to the 'rents." He said as if that explained all. "Who, I might add, were very impressed. So it's a bit late to try to play coy with me." Seth informed him.

"Okay. So …" Ryan waited, wondering what was going to come next. He could almost bet that Seth would interrogate him about Marissa.

"So what's with holding out on us?" Seth asked.

"It's still fairly new." Ryan explained.

Seth took the information in and debated whether to continue on or not. It all sounded fairly tame. Much as he would expect. Maybe his parents got it all wrong. No doubt there'd be someone new next week. Although Ryan had taken her home. That was unusual. Should he just leave it at that or should he push on in his quest for more details?

"So you're not sleeping with her yet because it's still new? Is that what you're telling me?" Seth asked.

"Who said I'm not sleeping with her?" Ryan asked. "I slept with her last night." He corrected Seth.

"But did you 'sleep' with her?" Seth asked again.

Ryan wondered where all this was coming from. Sure Seth had always seemed to have an unhealthy interest in Ryan's sex life. But ever since he had moved to the other side of the country he seemed to have accepted that as long as Ryan was 'getting some' then that was all he cared about. Fortunately for Ryan, the 'details' seemed to have become less of a concern. That being said, why was Seth now giving him the third degree?

"Sort of." Ryan replied starting to feel uncomfortable about the line of questioning. He hated lying. Let's rephrase that. He couldn't lie. And if Seth kept on and eventually hit on the right questions then Ryan would be in a lot of trouble. He had no intention of revealing Marissa's secret to anyone and that included Seth, so he was going to have to find some way to distract him and get him on to other topics. "As I said … it's still fairly new."

"I hate to remind you but that's never stopped you before. In fact I seem to remember the record being 12 minutes from the first time you laid eyes on a girl you fancied until you got into her pants. Or have you and Luke managed to break that one since I last saw you?" Seth asked.

Ryan blushed. "No. The record still stands." Maybe not one of his proudest moments he thought, although he had beaten Luke by over an hour. And in truth, he had a feeling that the girl involved was on a mission of her own. Maybe he was helping her set her own record.

"So really … how well you know her has nothing to do with the time that it takes for you to get her to drop her drawers?" Seth asked.

Ryan didn't reply. He just felt that saying anything would only get him into even more trouble.

"Do you like her?" Seth asked. He hoped that maybe his parents had misinterpreted Ryan's interest in the girl just because he had actually taken her home. It had been so long since he'd done that, that maybe they'd mistakenly assumed that she was something special just because he had brought her to meet them. Maybe he didn't really like her that much and was just feeling sorry for her because she was some sort of social outcast that he was taking pity on? Maybe that's why he hadn't slept with her yet? Although if she looked even half as good as his father had described then he couldn't imagine Ryan not partaking of the pleasures of the flesh anyhow even if he wasn't that interested.

"A lot." Ryan replied simply, knowing that he couldn't lie about that. Marissa was too special to him, for him to even try.

Now Seth was really scared. He'd ruled out the only other reasons that he could come up with for Ryan holding out on the girl; except of course the one that his parents were primarily concerned about. He knew that he was about to over step a line here, even for him, but his parents had asked him to find out what was going on. They were worried about Ryan.

"So … what's with holding out on her?" he asked simply.

"What?" Ryan asked startled.

"Mom said that you're playing hard to get. Since when have you been hard to get?" Seth questioned.

"Why would she think that?" Ryan asked feeling sick suddenly.

"I gather something that Marissa said." Seth explained.

Now Ryan felt completely nauseous. "Oh." Any appetite that he'd previously had, had now completely disappeared.

Seth continued. "At this point in time Mom is convinced that you have some sort of STD."

"She what?" Ryan exclaimed stunned. Now all Kirsten's questions about how he was feeling and the concerned looks when they were leaving were starting to make sense.

"She reckons that it's the only reason she can think of that would make you be able to keep your hands off her." Seth said and then clarified "Marissa not Mom."

"Very funny. And I can assure you that I don't have an STD." Ryan assured him still shocked at where this conversation was going.

"Are you sure? Have you been tested lately?" Seth pressed the point.

"Seth. I'm sure." Ryan wondered how his parents had ever come up with such a fanciful idea. "But who said I was keeping my hands off her?" Ryan asked.

"But I thought that you weren't …" Seth asked now confused. He needed a rewind button on the conversation because he was sure …

Ryan butted in "I may not have had my dick inside her yet but that doesn't mean that other parts of me…" Ryan explained.

"Ooooh. I think that the 'rents could do without that much detail." Seth reasoned. It certainly sounded like this was merely a temporary situation. "So is there an intention for this state of play to alter in the near future?"

"Well … she does have a birthday next week." Ryan explained. That was as close as he intended to get to telling Seth anything.

"Aw and she wants you as her present – how sweet." Seth teased.

"Well what can I say? You taught me all that I know." Ryan suggested, hoping to get Seth on to his favourite subject … himself. Then he would leave Ryan alone.

"If only that were true. I'm still trying to get you to give me some pointers. Although Summer informs me that my pointer is working just fine." Seth informed him.

"I'm pleased to hear it. For you and for her. Now can we get off this topic? If you want to be helpful you could come up with some suggestions for what I can get Marissa for her birthday?" Ryan asked.

"I thought that we'd already established that. You jumping out of a cake naked might do the trick." Seth suggested.

"Thanks for the suggestion but I think not. Maybe Summer would have a better idea?" Ryan said.

"I doubt it. She'd think that was a great idea. With me naked of course – not you – that's just too …. Ewwww." Seth returned quaking at the thought.

Ryan smiled. Now that Seth and Summer were living together, they seemed to be becoming more and more alike every day. "If you can't come up with anything better then I think that I'd better go back to what I was doing." Ryan replied.

"Okay – But just call the 'rents and tell them something to put their minds at ease. I swear that Mom thinks that your Willy's either about to shrivel up and drop off through over use or that it's so covered in genital warts that you're not prepared to show it in public."

Ryan shook his head. How was it that Seth managed to over step every boundary, every phone call?

"Ryan? Are you still there?" Seth asked.

"Yeah. I'm here." Ryan replied.

"Just let them know that there is nothing wrong with you. Tell them that you're holding out so that by her birthday, she'll be begging for it and then you intend to fuck her crazy as her gift. I'm sure that will put Mom's mind at ease." Seth laughed finding his own comment hilarious. When he composed himself he added. "Seriously … call them. Tell them something to reassure them. They're just worried about you."

Ryan sighed. How did he get into these positions? And what was he supposed to say to them? "Okay I'll call them." He said resignedly, not knowing how he would ever find the words to clear things up.

---


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Ryan didn't want to do this. But he knew that he had to. It was one of those things that wasn't going to go away just by ignoring it. It would only get worse. Reluctantly he reached for the phone wanting to get it over and done with. He dialled the number that he knew so well and waited, hoping that no one would be home and that he would be able to delay the inevitable a little longer.

"Hello?" came the reply and he took a deep breath to prepare himself for a conversation that he knew was not going to go well.

"Kirsten?" Ryan asked, she sounded like she had been running.

"Ryan? Are you all right." She instantly sounded concerned.

"Yes. I'm fine." He assured her.

"But I mean … are you REALLY all right?" she asked again. She didn't want the automatic answer. She knew that he'd never want them to worry. No doubt that was why he hadn't said anything to them earlier.

"Yes. I'm REALLY fine. There's nothing wrong with me." he confirmed again.

"Then how … why…" Kirsten had no idea how to proceed if in fact he was telling the truth … which he always did. "But … don't you like her?" she asked.

"Of course I do." Ryan replied swiftly.

"Then how … why …" Kirsten began again. She was more puzzled than ever.

"How and why what?" Ryan asked.

Kirsten knew that they were going around in circles. She was just going to have to come out with it. Surely Marissa hadn't lied to her because she was embarrassed to admit that they were sleeping together. It wasn't like she'd be the first girl to share Ryan's bed. But maybe she came from a different type of background. One that made it difficult to admit to what they were doing because she was afraid of the disdain that it may be met with when she was looking for their approval. Maybe she just hadn't wanted to admit it to Kirsten. "I know that it's none of my business really but … she said that you weren't sleeping together?"

"I can't believe how that would have come up in polite conversation but she's right. We haven't." Ryan confirmed.

Kirsten didn't know whether to be happy or sad at the reply. She was relieved that Marissa hadn't lied to her but there was a small part of her that wished that she had. Then she wouldn't still need to be so concerned about Ryan. But it seemed that much at least, of what Marissa had said was right. Kirsten figured that she may as well push on with the rest and find out one way or the other what was going on. "Because you won't?" Kirsten asked looking for confirmation. Maybe she'd misunderstood and it was Marissa that was delaying things. That would be understandable.

"I assure you that's only temporary." Ryan assured her.

So it was Ryan that was holding out. "But … do you have a …um…" what was she supposed to say? "Do you … have a problem with something?" she got out and then quickly went on to explain. "We hear Seth talk and we know you've had a lot of partners. You do get checked out regularly don't you? " Kirsten asked. It frightened her to think that his previous lifestyle might be the cause of this strange shift away from the norm.

"No. Is that really how you think of me? That the only reason that I wouldn't bed her at the first possible opportunity is because I've picked up 'something'?" Ryan asked now starting to feel exasperated, the only consolation was that Kirsten did sound like she was extremely embarrassed to have to even ask such a personal question.

"Well …It's just ..." Kirsten started.

Ryan frowned. He guessed that he couldn't really blame her for thinking that. His previous behaviour hadn't left her with much choice. "I guess that I may have given that impression before but this is different." He explained.

"It is?" Kirsten asked bewildered.

"She's … different." Ryan pointed out what to him was blatantly obvious.

"Different good or different bad?" Kirsten asked. She didn't want to assume anything anymore. It seemed that she had gotten to this embarrassing point by doing that already.

"What do you think?" Ryan asked.

"I think that she's amazing." Kirsten replied frankly. "She's stunning, sweet, caring and totally head over heels for you."

Ryan smiled at her description. "I agree with the first few. I'm not so sure about the last but I live in hope."

"I'd put money on it." Kirsten assured him.

"It's not your money I need but your time." Ryan suggested hoping that the worst of the interrogation was over.

"I don't understand." Kirsten replied confused.

"It's Marissa's birthday on Sunday and I was hoping that maybe you'd have some free time on Tuesday evening to help me go shopping. It's been quite a while since I've been trying to impress a girl and I figure that I may be a little rusty." Ryan explained. "And I doubt that Luke will be much help."

"Oh. I'd love to." Kirsten answered. She wasn't sure whether this was Ryan's way of reassuring her that he was fine or if he really did want her help but she'd knew that she'd take the opportunity to spend time with him either way. "You know that I love to shop. Are we looking for something special?" Kirsten asked. The relief was clear in her voice now that things were more 'normal' conversation wise. Here Ryan was asking her to do something she could do with her eyes shut.

"Special enough that she'll think that I'm special." Ryan explained.

"She already does." Kirsten pointed out.

"If I could be totally sure of that then it would save me a shopping trip. But since I'm not, I can't afford to take that chance. So, I think that we'd still better go. Sort of like buying me insurance." He suggested.

"You don't need it. She could barely take her eyes off you. You do know that she and Sophie made a deal on Sunday?" Kirsten asked.

"No. What sort of deal?"

"Apparently they are going to share you, so Sophie tells me." she explained.

Ryan smiled. "That's … cute?" he said.

"Yes it is." Kirsten agreed. "And I'm more than happy to meet you and help you shop. But about this other thing. Don't hold out too long so that she thinks you're playing games or just aren't interested, believe me it can crush a girl."

"Let me assure you I have no intention of missing the boat. She won't be sailing without me." Ryan informed her confidently.

----

Monday evening, Marissa cuddled up to Ryan on his sofa. "That Chili Con Carne was really good." She couldn't help but say. "But I really think that I ate too much." she said poking out her stomach and patting it with her hand. "If I keep eating like that then I'll end up with a paunch and you won't want to see me naked."

Ryan smiled. "Let me assure you that I will always want to see you naked." He said in a tone that brooked no argument. "I want to see you naked, eat with you naked …" his eyes sparkled thinking back to their Rude Food dinner party. "Feel you naked, sleep with you naked, make love to you naked."

"I think that I'm sort of getting your drift." Marissa laughed and snuggled in even closer. "That sort of does sound like fun."

"Yeah. It does." he said gently stroking his fingers along the inside of her arm setting her nerve endings on fire.

Marissa knew that she needed to get things back on to a less dangerous topic because when he touched her like that … she wanted to jump his bones and that couldn't happen so she asked "So where did you learn to cook like that. Is it one of Kirsten's recipes?"

"No. Kirsten doesn't really have recipes." Ryan explained. "Up until a couple of years ago she could barely even cook. She's much better now but she just keeps to the recipe books because she's scared that she'll stuff things up otherwise. Whereas … that recipe is more of a handful of this and a splash of that."

"So did you get it from your Mom?" she asked.

"No." Ryan shook his head. "My mum cooked even less than Kirsten. I actually remember her trying to cook a cake for me one birthday. I was maybe 5 or 6. She made a big thing out of buying one of those packet mixes from the supermarket and she borrowed a cake tin from Theresa's mum next door." He explained.

"That's really nice that she went to the trouble." Marissa commented. "My mother always bought one from the store."

"We couldn't afford that. Mom usually spent all the money she had on booze. But I guess it was nice of her. It's just that it was inedible." He explained. "I don't know how you can get that sort of thing wrong but she did. We probably had no milk so she added beer or something instead." Ryan shrugged. "Even the dog next door wouldn't eat it."

"That's so sad. But she did at least try. It's the thought that counts." Marissa reminded him.

Ryan nodded. He remembered telling himself the same thing many times through out his childhood when things hadn't quite turned out as expected. Which was often.

Marissa realised that he was lost in some memory and it was making him a little forlorn. So she decided to change the subject. "So you still didn't tell me where you learnt to make such good chili?"

Ryan came back to the present. "We had a Mexican family that lived next door in Chino when I was growing up. I used to hang out there a lot when things weren't going so well at home … which was most of the time. Mostly I'd spend my time with Theresa but occasionally if she was out then I'd hang around in the kitchen and talk to her Mom. She would always be cooking and I guess that I just picked some of it up."

Marissa wondered if she would come across as jealous if she asked about who 'Theresa' was but she was only trying to get to know a little more about him. "So 'Theresa' was a friend?"

Ryan nodded. "Yeah – a good friend." He shrugged. "I guess that she was my best friend. If it hadn't been for her and her family then I don't know how I would have gotten through my childhood. Just about every happy memory I have of my younger years is of time spent at their house not my own."

Marissa now felt bad for having raised the subject but she wanted to know about his background. It had all contributed to making him … him.

"Do you still keep in touch?" she asked wondering if she should be jealous of someone that had obviously been very close to him.

"No. I haven't spoken to her since …" Ryan started and then got lost in his memories of Theresa walking out on him at the Cohen's, accusing him of being not unlike her brother and Trey.

Marissa touched him on the leg and startled him. "It's been quite a while." He finished.

"Do I gather that you didn't part on good terms?" Marissa asked. She was concerned about where he'd zoned out to while they had been talking.

"I think that we're fine. It's just that we moved in different directions. The last time that I spoke to her she was working in hotel management and had a son. It didn't seem that we had a lot in common anymore." He explained.

Marissa nodded and then asked. "Is she married?"

"Um. No. She'd spilt up with the father of the child." Ryan explained. He didn't think that Marissa needed to know that for a time he had thought that he may have been the father.

"It must be difficult being a single Mom. I have enough trouble imagining being a parent at all … let alone trying to do it on your own." She remarked.

Ryan agreed with her whole heartedly. That was what had forced him to return to Chino with Theresa when she'd been pregnant. He'd hated it. He wasn't ready for it, wasn't ready to be a parent, wasn't ready to settle down with someone who would never be more than a good friend. But he had been prepared to do it. Because neither was she. And he couldn't let her go through it by herself. But he'd never wanted to spend his life with her.

He couldn't pretend that he was anything but relieved when he'd found out that Daniel had been Eddie's. He looked at Marissa still with her hand on her over full stomach and he couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if she was pregnant with his child. It would be entirely different. He'd never want to leave her side. "Hopefully you'll never have to do it on your own."

Marissa looked at him seriously. She felt that there was something in his voice that held more than just a passing interest in the topic but she wasn't prepared to take it any further, scared that she may find out more than she wanted to know. "I guess that we'd better make sure that we're careful when we get around to doing it?" she suggested.

Ryan nodded. "Are you on the pill?" he asked.

Marissa nodded. "Yeah. But it's still not 100 effective."

"I know. Don't worry I'll be prepared as well." He said for reassurance. "I thought that I'd buy the extra large box?" he suggested. "Just in case." He teased.

"In case of what?" Marissa asked.

"In case you can't keep your hands off me." he teased trying to lighten the mood that seemed to have gotten dark and depressing.

"I must admit that I'm having trouble even now as we speak." She taunted him.

"Please be my guest. Feel free to do what ever you would like." He offered, leaning his head back on the lounge and opening his arms wide in a gesture of surrender.

"You say that now but as soon as I start you'll accuse me of teasing you because I won't let you return the favour." Marissa replied.

"True." He replied. She had him pegged in one.

Marissa settled herself more comfortably against him. She knew that there would never be a better time to ask him and so she broke the easy silence that had settled between them.

"Can I ask you something?" she enquired.

"Sure." He shrugged. She was acting a little hesitant and he couldn't help but wonder what was to come next.

"You know how you wanted me …" she started and then corrected herself."...well us really … to wait?"

"Yeah." He replied softly.

"Why?" she asked simply.

"Why what?" he asked.

"Why did you want to wait? I know that you've had plenty of one night stands before. So why not me?"

Ryan squirmed around trying to get comfortable. He knew that he didn't want to go down this path with her but it seemed like she was leaving him with little choice. "A one night stand is just that. A bit of fun and pleasure that I don't expect to go any further. You were different."

"Why? Because I was a virgin?" Marissa offered up.

"Partly. But also because I felt that I wanted to see more of you. And I don't just mean you naked. I think that we got to that part fairly quickly." He replied hoping that memories of last Monday evening might manage to distract her from her line of questioning. But no such luck.

"But part of it was because I was a virgin?" she asked again.

"I guess." He replied.

Marissa felt like she was missing something here. But she intended to persist. As Kirsten had advised she just needed to find the right question. "Did you know your first or was it a one night stand?"

"No. I knew her." Ryan admitted.

"Were you dating?" Marissa asked. She could see that Ryan was uncomfortable and she was sure that she was really close to finding the right question.

"Not really." He answered.

"What do you mean by 'Not really'? Surely it's one of those yes or no things?" she asked.

"We were friends." He explained.

"Friends with benefits." Marissa commented.

"Well we hadn't been up to then but I guess we were after. At least for a while." He admitted.

Marissa felt that she was close but that she was just missing something. "So it was her first time too?"

Ryan pulled his arm from around her and buried his face in his hands. There was an uncomfortable silence until finally he looked up and said "No. And I think that we should leave it at that."

Bingo. Marissa knew that whatever she was looking for was very close. So close that she couldn't leave it alone.

"Why? If she was more experienced wouldn't that be a good thing? She'd know what you where trying to do." She reasoned, thinking that she wished that she knew what she was trying to do, and then she wouldn't be so nervous about the whole thing.

"It wasn't a good thing. We were supposed to be each other's first. It's just that my brother got there before me." Ryan replied tersely.

"You and you're brother both liked the same girl?" Marissa asked astonished. No wonder this was painful to remember. Maybe she should have left it alone.

"Trey didn't like her." Ryan assured her.

"He must have if he wanted to make love to her." Marissa reasoned.

"He didn't make love to her. He fucked her." Ryan stated disgustedly. "And you want to know why?" Ryan asked, now seemingly angry with the world.

Marissa had never seen Ryan like this. She was almost scared to hear the rest.

"Because I borrowed a condom. Because I borrowed a fucking condom. If I'd never done that then he would probably have just left her alone." Ryan exclaimed running his hands through his hair.

"But …" It didn't make sense to Marissa. There was obviously more to it.

"Don't you see? Once I did that, he knew that Theresa and I had been talking about doing it and Trey decide that he'd get in there first. He got everything first. And I got his hand me downs."

"Surely not." Marissa said. She hadn't heard anything good about Trey but even so …

"They were his exact words when he left Theresa after fucking her. She was bruised and bleeding and he just left her there crying." Ryan explained.

Marissa felt sick. "Did he …"

Ryan shook his head. "No he didn't rape her. Some how or other he convinced her that she was doing it for me. That she'd be experienced and know what she was doing and that then she'd be able to make it that much better for me when we finally did it. She was young and Trey could be very persuasive when he wanted something."

Marissa swallowed. She knew what it was like to have insecurities about knowing what to do. "And did it make a difference?" she asked.

"What do you think? I couldn't have cared less about whether she'd know what she was doing. I had hoped that it would mean something to both of us. It should mean something." Ryan stressed. "After that, all it ever meant to Theresa was a way to feel good. A way to escape from the misery of her everyday life. She managed to cut her emotions off from the physical act. It was pleasuring her body and that's it. After we broke up, she slept with anything with a dick for a while. She wanted to feel good. But the momentary exhilaration of coming is nothing compared to the disgust that you feel afterwards when you realise that there is nothing else there. No feelings. I know that she's regretted it to this day. That's why it was important to me that we had a connection other than the physical. I didn't want you ever regretting your decision to be with me. I didn't want to be just the dick that you lost it too. That would make me no better than my brother. And I've spent too much of my life trying to be anything but."

Marissa took in everything that he'd said and softly said. "I don't know Trey. But I do know that you are nothing like that."

"I'm no angel. I'm not proud that I've slept around a lot." Ryan admitted.

"But I bet that none of them ever objected. You'd stop straight away."

"Theresa didn't object." Ryan explained.

"No. But that was her decision not yours. You can't blame yourself for something that she chose to do." Marissa said and then couldn't help but ask. "Did you love her?"

Ryan shrugged. "Not really. She was my best friend. If I say that I loved her like a sister then it sounds even worse. But back in those days – sex in Chino was just something that you did. Like having your first smoke or your first drink. It was something pleasurable that helped to pass the time. Nothing more. What was good about sex compared to booze and drugs was that it didn't cost any money. Well except for the condoms … but you could usually score those from the free clinic." Ryan explained, wondering how she would feel about him now that she knew just what his background was really like. Not the love and comfort of the Cohen's but the depressing streets of Chino and all that came with it.

"I don't want you to look at it like that." He said addressing her. "I don't want you to feel about it like that. It should be something special."

"It will be." She assured him wanting him to know that what he'd confided in her made no difference to the way that she felt about him. And yet still she couldn't help but continue on. "Have you always felt so strongly about it when you have been with other virgins?"

Ryan sighed deeply. He'd never opened up to anyone the way that he just had to Marissa and he didn't know if he could go any further. He was leaving himself bare. He stared at her and the compassion that he saw in her eyes gave him the courage to confess. "I've never been with a virgin. Do you think that I would ever want to be responsible for doing what Trey did? He may not have attacked Theresa but he left her with emotional scars that she may never recover from."

Marissa was stunned.

She would be his first.

He would be her first.

She was about to say more when the door opened and Luke wandered through.

"I hope that you left me some Chili man? I'm starving." He said moving quickly in to the kitchen and leaving them still sitting on the lounge. The atmosphere around them charged with emotion that Luke seemed to have missed completely.

Ryan took Marissa back into his arms and held her tightly. She knew that he was upset. She was upset. But she also knew that they were closer than ever. She understood now why it was so important for him that they wait until they got to know one another. But the more she got to know him, the more certain she was that he was the one for her.

---


	22. Chapter 22

_A/N: Just thought that I should let you know that I think there will be only 3 more chapters after this one. I may change my mind but probably not. Chapter 23 will be Friday night. Chapter 24 will be the weekend and Chapter 25 will be the party. Enjoy!_

**Chapter 22**

Kirsten checked her watch again. Ryan had called to say that he was running a little late but she knew that he shouldn't be too far away now. She'd suggested that she would wait for him in Starbuck's and she was flicking through a magazine wondering what sort of thing he would want to get Marissa when he came in and sat opposite her.

"Hey. Sorry about that. Traffic was a bummer."

Kirsten smiled. "It's no problem." She quickly pushed a coffee in front of him. "I thought that you would probably need one too." She suggested. "Plus while you drink it we can come up with a plan of attack."

"Attack? I just thought that we were shopping." Ryan replied naively.

"Oh. Ryan. Thanks good ness you called in the help of a professional." Kirsten laughed. "This sort of thing requires careful planning. So what are we looking for?"

"That's what I'd thought that you could come up with. And then I'd just pay for it." He explained hopefully.

"Oh No no no." Kirsten said shaking her head. "That wouldn't do at all. She doesn't want a gift from me ... although that's not a bad idea … I should get her something too." She added as an aside.

"You don't need to." Ryan quickly commented.

"But I'd like to." Kirsten replied. "But that's not important right now. What is important is your gift. But it needs to be from you. I'm happy to come up with ideas but the final decision has to be yours."

"Okay. So what are the ideas?" Ryan asked.

"Well … before I can offer any suggestions, you're going to have to tell me just what this girl means to you … otherwise I'll have no chance of getting it right. It seems that I read everything wrong the other day." She looked at Ryan and earnestly apologised. "I wish I could take it all back. I'm sorry that I assumed that you were sleeping together. You just seemed so …" Kirsten searched for the word and finally added "right … together."

"That's okay. It feels 'right' when I'm with her." Ryan admitted. "And I'm sure that if we'd known one another a little longer then your assumptions would have probably been correct." He admitted sheepishly.

Kirsten frowned. They had seemed so comfortable together that she'd assumed that they had been together for quite some time. "How long have you known her?" she asked puzzled.

Ryan thought for a minute and then replied. "I met her 2 weeks ago and we've been seeing each other since last Monday. So 8 days."

"Oh My." Kirsten replied aghast. "No wonder you haven't slept together yet if you've only been together for that long. I just assumed …" she started and then added. "There I go assuming again. You'd think that I would have learnt how much trouble that can get me into. So you'd only been going out for what? … 6 days when you brought her home. No wonder you weren't sleeping together. You'd have to have set some sort of record if you had done it by then." She added.

Ryan smiled as he thought about the 12 minute record but decided that it was something that he didn't need to share.

"Yeah. So …" he was feeling a little uncomfortable. He knew that he could confide in Kirsten. If he asked her to she would even keep things from Sandy although Ryan would never expect her to do that. But it still wasn't easy for him to talk about his feelings for Marissa.

Kirsten watched the expressions flit across Ryan's face. Over the years she had gotten much better at being able to read him. "But I was right in assuming that you like her?"

Ryan sipped his coffee and nodded self-consciously.

"A lot?" Kirsten added.

Ryan nodded again. "Is it that obvious?"

"I thought that you were both obvious. The way that you looked at one another. The way that you were around one another." She smiled. "This doesn't look like a passing fling." She stated.

"It doesn't feel like it either." Ryan admitted.

"So it's serious?" Kirsten asked.

"As serious as it can be after 8 days." Ryan shrugged. "I just ..." he sought the right words to explain. He looked at Kirsten and hesitated and then said. "When I broke up with Taylor …" he fiddled with his cup and then went on "It wasn't because I didn't like her anymore. I did. We had fun together and I needed that then. I'd sort of forgotten how to. But after a while … it was just …" Ryan thought back. He and Taylor had certainly been sexually compatible. And that wasn't all there was to it but … He started to speak again trying to explain. "Somehow or other when I imagined myself in years to come … I just didn't see Taylor there with me. It was like we were filling in time while we were together. I didn't really know where I expected to be but I imagined her future in France and mine here." He explained. "So it seemed better to finish it before either one of us got too attached."

Kirsten nodded. She didn't want to speak because she was scared that it would break Ryan's concentration. He was obviously trying to tell her something and she wanted to hear him out. She wanted to hear it all.

"But Marissa." He sighed. "Ever since I first met her … I can't think of anything else. When I think of the future she is always there with me. And I don't care where it is. If she told me tomorrow that she was leaving for France then I'd be packing to go with her. Even though I've only known her a short time, I can't imagine my life without her." He looked up at Kirsten. "Is that …." He asked, scared to say the word.

Kirsten smiled and nodded. "It certainly sounds like it might be." She said and went quiet as thoughts of her past flowed over her. She looked up at Ryan and said softly "It actually sounds a lot like how I felt when I met Sandy." She explained. "We were from such different worlds and there was a part of me that accepted that it would be difficult to make it work. But I knew that we would. I couldn't imagine life without him. Hell …" she laughed. "I went from Newport princess to living in the back of a mail truck. What more proof do you need that I was prepared to do anything so long as we could be together?"

Ryan smiled. He'd forgotten about the mail truck stories. "It's a bit like that. So yeah … I need this gift to tell her how important she is to me." he said and then quickly added. "But I don't know how she feels and it's all so new that I don't want to scare her off."

"From what I saw I don't think that's likely to happen." Kirsten replied. "But I get the message. No engagement rings. No love hearts. But something to let her know that you care."

Ryan smiled. "A lot."

Kirsten laughed. "Okay. A lot." She confirmed. "But have you finished there?" she asked, indicating his coffee. "We need to get going. We've got things to do."

"Sure." He said draining his cup and standing up. "Lead on."

---

Marissa was busily trying to get everything ready. It was Wednesday evening and Molly had already left for her shift at the gym. Marissa hadn't managed any alone time with Ryan since his revelations on Monday evening when Luke had wandered in on them. She knew that it had taken a lot for him to go back and revisit something that was obviously painful to him and she needed to let him know that it made no difference to her.

Well it did make a difference she corrected herself ... but only because she now realised why he had wanted them to wait. And she wanted to let him know that she understood. Better than that … she was glad that he had made them wait. Because she knew that when it happened it would mean so much more. But Luke and Molly had been around at lunch times and last night Ryan had insisted that he had other plans. "Shopping" plans he'd reassured her when she'd laughingly accused him of seeing someone else and then he'd readily admitted that he was seeing someone else … he was meeting Kirsten. And since she knew that her birthday was the reason for the shopping trip she could hardly complain.

But that had only led her to invite him to her place for dinner this evening. The time was slowly ticking by until her birthday … and even though she knew that nothing was going to happen tonight she still wanted to spend time with him. Who was she kidding? If she could have it her way, she would have spent all of her time with him. It seemed that ever since she'd met him, her mind could think of little else but when the next time she would be able to see him. Whatever time they did spend together never seemed to be enough. Thinking about it Marissa reached for her phone and dialled.

"Hey?" came the voice that could make her melt with one small word.

"Hey?"

"Please don't tell me that you're cancelling?" Ryan asked. He couldn't wait to see her.

Marissa smiled. "Far from it." She replied.

"Then what's the call for? Because it's only delaying my getting to you. I was just walking out the door." He explained. "Do you need me to pick up something on the way?" he asked.

"No. Dinner's almost ready." Marissa replied. "But I was just wondering …"

Ryan could sense her hesitation. "Wondering what?"

Marissa started to feel anxious. Was she getting ahead of herself for even thinking of suggesting it? Maybe he'd think that she was coming on too strong. "I know that we're not going to 'DO' anything until my birthday." She assured him. She didn't want him to imagine that dinner tonight would be anything like last week. She'd well and truly learnt her lesson from that. "But …"

Ryan wondered where this was going. "But?"

"But I just wondered if you might like to bring your toothbrush with you?" she asked. She could feel the blush rising up her face as soon as the words left her mouth.

Ryan smiled. "You're asking me for a sleepover?"

Marissa blushed even more but she couldn't help but smile. He made it sound like they were going to get together and paint their toe nails. "I guess. If you want to?" she offered. "We don't have to do anything. But we did prove on Saturday night that we can sleep in the same bed and keep our hands to ourselves." She reminded him.

"Maybe that was because Sandy and Kirsten were under the same roof?" he teased.

"From what I can gather, that hasn't held you back before, if what Kirsten told me is anything to go by." Marissa teased back.

Now it was Ryan who blushed. He had no idea exactly what Marissa and Kirsten had spoken about but he was pretty sure that he didn't want to know. It seemed that his love life had been a major topic of conversation.

Marissa smiled sensing her words had embarrassed him. "I gather one of your previous partners was a little … noisy?" she offered up wanting Ryan to know that it wasn't him that she was referring to.

Ryan knew that she meant Taylor. He'd tried to get Taylor to be quiet but it was impossible. He would have needed to gag her to get her to keep the volume down. "I'm not going there." He said wanting to finish any conversations about previous conquests that could only end badly … at least for him.

"Maybe it's just that I wasn't as enticing a bed partner as you've previously had, that enabled you to do it so easily." Marissa suggested looking for a compliment. She certainly hoped that wasn't the case.

"You know that's not true." He said truthfully. "You're very enticing. 'Bewitching' might be closer to the truth."

She smiled, happy that he'd reassured her. "So what do you think?" she asked.

"I think that I'd love to spend the night with you." He said, imagining being able to hold her close but knowing that it was likely to take all his powers of restraint to keep his hands off her.

Marissa smiled, she could hardly wait. "So … I'll see you soon?" she asked.

"Just as soon as I can pick up my toothbrush." He answered.

---

Dinner had been eaten, the dishes were done and put away and Ryan and Marissa were sitting cuddled up in front of the television.

"There's not much on." Marissa admitted changing the channel yet again. "Maybe we could find something else to do." She looked at him … raising one eyebrow and making sure that he got her drift.

"Exactly what are you suggesting? I thought that we were going to be well behaved?" Ryan asked.

The smile on Marissa's face grew. "Who said anything about being well behaved? I just said that I knew that we weren't going to do 'IT'. I never promised to be well behaved." She teased as she moved on to his lap and began covering his face with tiny kisses. "You know … things are clear again so I thought that maybe we could practice a few of the tricks that you showed me last week?"

Ryan chuckled. "I've never thought of them as tricks." He admitted. "And I do have to admit that I wasn't expecting this but …" he shrugged. "Far be it from me to deny you the chance to practice. Although I have to admit that I'm a little scared about being able to hold out if you insist on playing around."

"Maybe I'm not playing?" Marissa suggested, the playfulness momentarily deserting her.

Ryan was stunned. He wanted her so much. But they'd waited this long. Surely he could last a little longer. "So … What do you have in mind?"

"I thought that maybe we could get ready for bed." She stated sounding oh so innocent.

"And how do we do that?" Ryan asked, suspecting that there was more to it.

"By having a bath?" Marissa suggested. "Together." She added watching the look on his face closely. "Just to relax us before we go to bed."

Ryan could feel his dick spring to attention. He suspected that sharing a bath with her would be excruciatingly painful and yet glorious all at the same time but he told himself that he would survive. He smiled trying to get himself under control. "I'm not sure about the relaxing part but a bath sounds good." He said softly kissing her.

Marissa moved on his lap feeling his body's reaction to her proposition through the fabric of his jeans. "Maybe I can find a way to relax you." She suggested as she moved off his lap, took his hand and pulled him behind her. "Let's go see what we can do about it then?"

---

Much later they lay entwined in Marissa's bed. Ryan had insisted upon clothes much to Marissa's dismay but he had assured her that he couldn't be held responsible for his actions if he woke up in the middle of the night with her naked beside him. At least if he had to rid her of her clothes then it may slow him down enough that he would have a chance to get himself under control. After waiting this long he wanted to make sure that they both remembered the occasion and that it didn't happen in some sleep befuddled dream.

And so Marissa was dutifully dressed in her flannel pyjamas with Ryan in boxers and wife beater … but that didn't keep them from holding one another close. Marissa was on her side, her head resting on his chest and her arm lying over his torso holding him. His arm was around her holding her tightly to him and he could smell the scent of her shampoo as it filled his senses. He would never tire of it. A feeling of togetherness enshrouded them.

Marissa had never felt more at peace. She was sure that the 'activities' in the bath had helped her. A post orgasmic lethargy had invaded her being and she wanted nothing more than to stay entwined with him. "This was a good idea." She said thankful that she had decided to make the call to invite him to stay.

"Definitely one of your best." Ryan agreed.

"Maybe you could stay over tomorrow as well?" she suggested, thinking that if she had her way he would never leave.

Ryan hesitated. "I have a few things to do tomorrow." He replied knowing that he still had a number of items that he needed to pick up to complete Marissa's surprise. There were a few things that he'd chosen not to buy while he was shopping with Kirsten, as they may have brought on another bout of questions. He'd figured that Kirsten didn't need to know ALL of his plans. "Plus didn't you want to finish off your assignment?" he asked.

Marissa had an assignment that was due on Monday morning that she wanted to hand in on Friday because she didn't want to spend the weekend worrying about it. "Yeah. I did. But I'd rather be with you."

"I'd like that too but sometimes we need to do these things." He pointed out. "Maybe you could keep Friday night free and we could do something?"

"I'll have to check my schedule." She said pertly, knowing that there was nothing more important than spending time with him.

"You do that." He smiled as he replied, aware that she was teasing him. "But it would be good to get you assignment out of the way. Then you can have the weekend off in peace. It will be worth it." He reasoned.

"I guess." She replied. But she couldn't help but wish that things could be different. She would miss him.

She could sense that he was close to sleep. She could feel that his whole body had relaxed and his breathing was evening out. She still hadn't spoken to him about what he'd revealed to her on Monday night and now seemed as good a time as any to bring it up, before he fell asleep and it would be too late. "You know how you wanted to wait?"

Ryan pulled himself back from the edge of sleep wondering where this was leading to. "Yeah."

"Well I just wanted to tell you that you were right." She said.

Ryan didn't reply. Partly because he was too tired to string the words together and partly because he didn't think that there was much to be gained by him saying anything.

"What I was trying to do was wrong. I do want it to mean something. And it will. As long as it's with you." She stated plainly. "And … it doesn't have to happen on my birthday if you're not ready." She added.

Ryan tensed a little. Had he waited too long? Was she changing her mind?

She went on. "I know that my being a virgin is putting pressure on you. I understand that now and I'm happy to wait for you until you're okay with it." She explained. "For as long as you want." She added and then explained "Because I don't want to do it with anyone else." She said and silently added 'ever' in her own mind. "I just want you to know that I'm ready whenever you are."

Ryan pulled her even closer if that was possible. Her words were like precious gifts. They were what he had been waiting to hear all along. She wanted him and only him. "I'll be ready." He said softly.

He would do everything in his power to make things perfect for her.

---


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Friday evening, Ryan couldn't ever remember feeling so nervous.

He had to settle down or Marissa would know that something was going on as soon as he saw her. He ran over the list in his head once again, concerned that he had may have forgotten something. He needed to have everything under control.

He'd dropped Luke at the airport a short time ago and was heading home to check that everything was ready.

Her gifts were wrapped and waiting for her. He smiled as he realised that was true … except for him.

It was 5:30 and he had to collect her at 6 for their 'dinner and a movie' night that he had casually suggested at lunchtime.

Thankfully she'd agreed. There was a moment there, just after he'd asked her, where she'd hesitated, obviously thinking about the busy weekend that she had ahead of her. At Molly's insistence, she'd taken the weekend off work to prepare for the party and she was obviously wondering if she should stay at home and get started on the preparations. He didn't know if she'd noticed him pale as the thought of her possibly turning his invitation down ran through his mind, but fortunately Molly had intervened and told her to go do it because they would have enough time on Saturday and Sunday to clean the apartment and cook for the party, so Marissa should spend the evening enjoying herself before the work began.

Ryan could have kissed Molly but he restrained himself knowing that it would only set Marissa's radar off and that was something that he couldn't afford to have happen.

Too much time and effort had gone in to making these plans. Hopefully everything would go off without a hitch.

---

Ryan held the door open for Marissa to hop into the car. He'd just collected her and they were supposedly on their way to the movies.

"Have you decided what you want to see?" he asked.

Marissa smiled. "I thought that after last Friday night that we'd decided that we could save the ticket price and just make out in the car?" she replied, laughing.

"That's no fun." Ryan replied and then corrected himself. "Well … it is fun … but it's not in the spirit of the evening." He explained. "But I just need to drop back to my place. I realised on the way here that I've left my wallet at home. It won't take me long to pick it up and then we can be on our way."

"I've got money with me and I'd be happy to pay." Marissa pointed out. "It must be my turn anyhow?" she suggested.

"Oh no. Not on you birthday weekend." Ryan replied.

"Birthday weekend?" she asked smiling. "I thought that it was just a birth 'day' and that's not until Sunday." She explained.

"Uh uh" he shook his head. "Didn't you know that if it's a special birthday and it falls on a weekend then you get the whole weekend to celebrate?"

Marissa laughed. "Since when?"

"Since I decided." He replied as he pulled up in front of his apartment. "This shouldn't take long. Do you want to come inside with me and help me find it?" he suggested. "I'm not quite sure where I left it. I must have put it down somewhere when I was cleaning up after Luke."

"Sure." Marissa shrugged as she hopped out of the car. "I may as well. Sitting in the car on my own doesn't sound like too much fun." She followed him inside and then waited while he unlocked the door.

Ryan stood to one side to let her enter before him and he could feel his heart start to race.

Marissa pushed the door open and was instantly overcome by the scent of oriental lilies. She loved them and as she looked about the room the smile on her face turned to one of wonder. Ryan's lounge room had been transformed. It was full of flowers and candles on almost every available surface. The fire was burning brightly and soft music was playing in the background. She turned to him. "Wh … what …?"

"You like?" he asked.

"It's amazing." She replied. "But I don't understand." She said in wonder.

"It's the start of your birthday surprises." He explained. "Are you surprised?"

Marissa nodded as she walked further into the room, admiring the trouble that he'd gone to, to make everything perfect.

"I just need to check on dinner and I'll be right back." Ryan stated as he moved towards the kitchen.

He was gone only momentarily and he returned to stand beside her. "I hope you don't mind a slight change of plans. I thought that maybe we wouldn't bother with going out to the movies tonight but that we'd stay in instead."

Marissa nodded. "That sounds even better to me." Spending time with him was all that she wanted to do.

Ryan smiled. "Good. So when do you want to start on your gifts?"

"Gifts? Aren't the flowers enough? Plus … it's not my birthday until Sunday." She replied.

"And I keep telling you that even though you may not turn 21 until Sunday, you get a whole weekend of birthday surprises." He said as he kissed her, unable to keep his hands to himself for a moment longer.

Marissa happily joined her mouth with his as their tongues danced together. She could feel the kiss intensifying and she pulled back. "What about Luke? Are we expecting him to arrive home any time soon?" Marissa asked knowing Luke's talent for walking in at all the wrong times.

Ryan smiled and walked to the table where an envelope rested with a small bow on top. "And so we get to gift number 1." He said as he handed it to her. "Although I'm not sure if you will consider it a gift or not?"

Puzzled by his comment, Marissa couldn't wait to open it. She pulled out the piece of paper and quickly read it and then even more puzzled she turned to Ryan. "You bought me a ticket to Portland?"

He smiled. "No. If you look at the name on it you'll see that it's a copy of the ticket that I bought for Luke to go to Portland for the weekend. I dropped him at the airport a while ago. He doesn't come back until 5 on Sunday. Just in time for your party."

Marissa realised what it meant. "So we have the place to ourselves?" she asked.

Ryan nodded. "For the whole weekend." He explained.

Marissa was overwhelmed. "Well at least the nights. Molly has me cooking and cleaning during the days." She corrected him.

Ryan shook his head. "No she doesn't. It's all been taken care of. Worker bees will be at your place tomorrow to clean the place until it's spick and span and then the caterers are delivering the food on Sunday afternoon." Ryan said smiling as Marissa's eyes formed into large saucers. "We don't have to leave here." He said and then added. "Unless of course, you want to."

"But how? I can't let you do all this." Marissa started, still trying to process all that he was saying and the implications.

"It wasn't all me. Kirsten helped." He said and then handed her the small beautifully wrapped box that had been sitting beside the envelope on the table.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Gift number 2." Ryan replied. "Open it and you'll see." He smiled.

Marissa slid the ribbon from the box and removed the lid and inside she found … a new toothbrush. She smiled as she looked up at Ryan.

"I thought that you might like to sleep over." Ryan explained but the words had barely left his mouth when Marissa threw herself into his arms almost knocking him over on the way.

Ryan held on to her and carried her to the lounge, collapsing back on to it, as she attacked him with her lips. "I'll take that as a yes." He commented as she moved her lips to his neck.

"It's a definite yes." She replied giggling between kisses … her emotions threatening to bubble over.

"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to go away for the weekend ourselves? I thought about that too … but I just thought that maybe you'd feel more comfortable in familiar surroundings, so I got rid of Luke instead." Ryan explained.

Marissa gazed around at the flowers and candles, the fire flickering in the hob "This is perfect." She said as she resumed kissing the sensitive part just below his ear that she knew sent him wild.

Ryan's face broke into a huge grin. Her reaction was even better than he hoped for. "So when would you like dinner?" he asked.

She stopped for a moment coming up for breath and looked at him. "Before I answer that … I'd like to know just how this birthday weekend works?" she asked puzzled.

Ryan smiled. "Well … I guess that's really up to you. You're the boss. Whatever you say goes."

"What ever I say?" Marissa repeated, wanting confirmation.

Ryan smiled. He could see the way that her mind was working. "I do have a few more gifts for you but I guess that it's up to you when you want them."

"But what about …?" her eyes told him exactly what she was thinking about. "Do I still have to wait?"

"For what?" he asked amused.

"You?" she stated simply.

"No." he replied softly. "I'm ready when you are."

Marissa's eyes widened as the words sunk in. "But I thought that I had to wait until my birthday?"

"I never said that. You just assumed that's when it would be. I just wanted you to get to know me. To know who you were doing it with. And if you still want to wait … then that's fine. But I want you to enjoy you're birthday and not be nervous or anxious because you keep thinking about it … about what we're going to do. So I thought that you might like to get it out of the way earlier. That way you can relax and enjoy yourself on the day. Plus your New Year's resolution will have been taken care of. But the decision is entirely up to you. Your call."

Marissa was blown away by his thoughtfulness. Everything that he'd done was to make her feel more at ease. But all she really wanted was him. Having him to herself for the weekend was the best gift that anyone could have.

"Please tell me that dinner won't burn because I'd really like one more gift before we eat." She replied reaching for his belt and making her intentions obvious. She felt like she'd wanted him for so long now that she could barely see straight.

Ryan smiled as he grabbed her hand. "Dinner won't burn. I made sure that it was something that would keep. But you need to just wait a minute. There's something else that I need to give you." He leant over and picked up a large gift wrapped box that had been sitting on the floor at the end of the sofa and handed it to her.

"What's this? I told you not to spend any money on me."

"I assure you that I didn't over spend. But this is what you asked for." Ryan replied.

Marissa couldn't remember asking for anything but she quickly removed the wrapping and lifted the lid to find a whole box full of ribbons and bows of all different colours. She looked up at Ryan and started to laugh.

He smiled loving the fact that she was enjoying herself so much and he explained. 'I didn't know what colour you wanted me in."

"I think that we should try a few of them out and see which one goes best with your skin tone." She suggested.

"Don't you mean with what I'm wearing?" he asked.

Marissa shook her head. "Uh uh. Because you won't be wearing anything. I need skin. Lots of skin … before I can make a decision."

Ryan looked at her and smiled.

"And since I am the boss." She said getting into the game. "I think that you need to get out of those clothes now and show me some."

"You're not serious? You don't expect me to just strip while you sit their watching." Ryan asked.

"Sure I do. And don't bother being in a hurry. Just take your time." She exclaimed, now laughing at his obvious discomfit.

"How about I'll take a piece off and then you take a piece off." Ryan suggested.

"Sure. If you can't undress yourself then I'm happy to help you." Marissa replied.

"That's not what I meant." Ryan explained.

Marissa went quiet. "I know. But I enjoy undressing you." She said softly. The tone of the conversation had suddenly turned from laughter to something more serious.

"And I enjoy undressing you." He replied. Their eyes met and the flames of passion flared between them.

Marissa ran her hands up under his t-shirt and pulled it over his head to reveal his toned torso. She threw the unwanted shirt across on to the spare chair. "Well I don't see why you should miss out on all the fun." She said as she stood up, kicked her shoes off and then turned to allow Ryan easy access to the zip on the back of her dress.

He quickly accepted her offer and the dress pooled at her feet within moments, leaving her in only her skimpy lingerie.

She turned to face Ryan and noticed that his eyes had darkened with desire. She held her hand out for him to join her standing up and he quickly acquiesced until they were standing face to face, the passion between them evident in the smouldering looks that were passing between them.

Marissa quickly divested him of his belt and jeans, his shoes and socks joining the growing pile of discards on the floor and then she reached for his boxers … she went to push them down but his arousal prevented her and she hesitated looking to him for his approval. Ryan quickly assisted and removed the offending garment and as she cast her eyes over his naked form, she thanked God yet again for giving her this divine specimen.

Ryan unclipped her bra and then hooked his fingers inside her panties and very slowly, he drew them down over her legs until she too was completely naked standing in front of him.

Now everything seemed to be going in slow motion.

She couldn't help herself but to run her eyes over his naked form. He was magnificent. She could see the glisten of precum leaking from his erection and yet still he hadn't moved. When he'd said that it would happen when she was ready, he had meant it. He was obviously waiting for her to make a move. But she didn't know where to start … so she dropped to her knees and licked the glistening tip but he quickly pulled back and dropped down beside her taking her tongue into his mouth as their bodies met and they melted into one another. His hands were roaming over her ... touching her, caressing her and leaving a trail of flames in their wake. She went to lie down upon the rug in front of the fire but Ryan hesitated.

"Wait." He said as he reached for a soft cotton blanket that was on the end of the couch and he spread it out under her and then joined her upon it. He glanced into her eyes. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. I want this ..." and then she corrected "I want you … more than I've ever wanted anything in my life." Marissa assured him.

Ryan brought his lips to hers again. Taking it slowly he sipped from the nectar of her mouth and then moved his lips down over her body. Nipping, sucking, caressing, worshipping, every square inch until he reached her core where he dipped his head to drink from her essence.

Marissa was on fire. She was trying to remain still but the feelings that Ryan was evoking were threatening to erupt. The ache that she had for him deep within her had reached epic proportions and she knew that nothing but having him buried inside her would quench it. She started to buck her hips wanting him to go further.

Ryan kept his tongue on her bud as he slipped first one and then two fingers into her. She was beginning to writhe on the rug and he knew that their moment of truth was getting close. He slipped a third finger into her and she let out a soft moan.

"Ryan … please?" she asked.

He removed his fingers and hastily donned a condom, for once thankful for his plentiful experience that made the task simple and then moved on top of her. He settled in to the cradle of her hips and his throbbing erection was nudging at her centre. They were so close.

And then suddenly… he had a moment of doubt. What if he hurt her? It hit him like a bolt of lightning that he loved her. If he hurt her, he would never forgive himself.

Marissa writhed beneath him waiting for what was to come.

She glanced at Ryan and it was as if she could read his mind. She raised her hips in silent invitation and reached down with her own hand to guide his penis between her folds and into her.

Ryan let her take the lead. He very slowly and gently pushed inside her until he met the expected resistance of her hymen. He stopped and looked at her questioningly.

This was it. The final barrier. She felt so good with her walls clenched tightly around him and yet he still didn't know if he could do it.

Marissa saw the hesitation clearly evident in his eyes but she had never been more certain of what she felt for him. She firmly gripped his buttocks and as she bucked her hips she pulled him forcefully towards her until she felt the momentary pain as the final barrier fell and for the first time she felt him deep within her.

Ryan was startled by her actions and instantly concerned. "Are you alright?" he asked softly, still refusing to move in case he hurt her.

She turned to look at him and he watched as the corners of her mouth slowly curled into a small smile. "Never been better." She said as a single tear emerged from the corner of her eye and ran down her cheek.

He caught it with his finger. "I don't want to hurt you." He pleaded.

"You didn't hurt me. I feel …" she started and then hesitated as she tried to work out exactly how she did feel. "I feel … complete." She said as she began to move under him, the short lived pain had eased off and she was trying to get used to the feeling of him inside her.

Ryan was still hesitant and she could see the uncertainty in his eyes. "I know that I'm only new at this but I think that you're supposed to move too." She whispered.

Ryan couldn't help but chuckle at her words as the nerves and tension suddenly evaporated and as he did so Marissa joined in. This was definitely not what either had expected but it only made it that much better. They were so close that they could talk about anything.

The feeling of him moving inside her as he laughed served to re-ignite the passion that had momentarily subsided and the laughter quickly was replaced by a need greater than either had felt before.

"Make love to me Ryan." Marissa softly begged and Ryan needed no more encouragement. He instantly started to move within her. Very slowly he began to withdraw watching her all the time until she looked bereft at which point he gently pushed back into her all the while concerned that he might be hurting her.

"Faster." Marissa whispered as she began to move with him.

Ryan took her at her word and began to quicken the pace, each thrust getting slightly more forceful and each time he was met by the tilt of her hips as she joined him in their passionate dance. Ryan could feel the tug starting in his balls but he tried to ignore it. This was about Marissa. He was not going to disappoint her. He glanced back at her face concerned that he may have been hurting her but there was no pain evident only a beautiful wanton woman that had lost herself to the passions between them.

Marissa couldn't believe how good it felt to have Ryan inside her; for them to finally be one. He was touching nerves endings that she didn't even know existed. The waves of pleasure were building and even though she wanted this to go on forever she didn't know if she could take too much more. She writhed and bucked beneath him and he thrust into her in an age old rhythm until she suddenly cried out as the waves of her orgasm washed over her.

Ryan felt her walls clench around him and it pushed him over the edge. Thrusting in to her one last time, he shuddered his release as he collapsed on top of her. Within moments his first thought was of Marissa and he went to move off her.

"Please. Stay where you are?" she asked softy.

Ryan gulped. "I thought that I might be squashing you." He explained.

"No. I …" she wanted to tell him just what she was feeling … thinking that by sharing it, it would somehow reassure him about what they'd just experienced together. "I want to feel you inside me. I want us to be connected … to be one." She said.

Ryan quickly swiped at the moisture that he could feel threatening to escape his eye as the full impact of her words hit him.

"Thank you." Marissa said softly.

Ryan shook his head. "I should be thanking you. You've given me the greatest gift that a woman can give a man."

"Well there's no one else that I'd ever want to give it to." Marissa replied.

---


	24. Chapter 24

**_A/N:_**_ Thanks for all the kind words about the last chapter. I really do appreciate them. Obviously I've never written a 'first time' before so I was a little nervous about how it would turn out. But it seems that I wasn't too bad at it.  
_**_A/N2:_**_ I'm getting a bit of encouragement (and a few threats) about continuing this story, but it's not going to happen. I have almost finished Chapter 25 and that will be it and I'll take a break. I know that some writers seem to be able to take things easily and update every week or so but once I get started on a story they seem to take over my life and I can think of little else. And so I need to write in spurts. Of course that doesn't mean that there won't be a sequel some time in the future. And your encouragement certainly helps. I had offered this idea up to a few other writers who chose not to go with it and now I'm glad because I have enjoyed writing this. Now I'll stop chatting and put up the next chapter._

**Chapter 24**

They lay quietly in each others arms for quite some time until Ryan asked "Are you hungry now?"

"Only for more of you." Marissa replied. "It seems that you've awakened a new appetite in me."

"Well I'm not going anywhere." Ryan replied. "But I think that you should take it slowly. This is all new and your body may object. Are you sure that it didn't hurt too much?"

"It hurt a little." She replied honestly. "But the pleasure that came after it more than made up for it." She explained. "And guess what?"

"What?" he asked picking up on her good mood?

"It fits." She laughed.

"Thank goodness for that." He replied laughing with her. "I told you that it would be the right size." He assured her. "I think that we were made for one another."

"I think so too." She agreed kissing him sweetly.

"But this weekend is all about you." Ryan assured her. "So you need to decide what would you like to do now?"

"What are my choices?" Marissa asked.

"Well … I thought that maybe you'd like a relaxing bath. Kirsten picked out some aromatherapy bath oils that she assured me would relax you."

"Did Kirsten know what I would be relaxing after?" Marissa asked.

Ryan shook his head. "No. I think that she probably suspects that we might be sleeping together by the end of the weekend. I'm sure that she figured out just how much you mean to me. But she has no idea that you are … oops sorry … were … a virgin."

Marissa smiled. The fact that he'd kept her virginal state a secret meant a lot to her after the horrors of Spencer. "It is past tense, isn't it?" she admitted, smiling.

Ryan nodded. "Afraid so. You can't get it back."

"I don't want it back." She assured him. "But Kirsten did know that I was a virgin." She corrected him.

Ryan frowned "How would she know something like that? Surely she didn't ask you?" he felt mortified that Kirsten may have grilled Marissa about her past.

"No. It just sort of slipped out when we were talking." Marissa explained.

Ryan shook his head. "I can't believe the intimate details that you two seem to have covered and yet you were virtual strangers. What should I expect when you actually get to know one another?"

Marissa laughed. "I think that it will be great to have someone that I can talk to about virtually anything. My mother has never been that sort of person."

"You can talk to me." Ryan pointed out.

"Yes. I can. But it's still nice to be able to get another woman's perspective sometimes and Molly's ideas can be a little 'out there'." Marissa explained.

"Why does that not surprise me?" he laughed. "However I will always be in her debt. She did send me to help you with your 'problem'."

"It's not a problem any more." Marissa laughed. "So are you going to share this bath with me?" she asked.

"I'm not sure how relaxing it would be if I was in there with you?" Ryan admitted.

"Why don't we give it a try and find out." Marissa suggested as she moved to stand up and as she did so she realised that there was a spot of red on the soft blanket that they had been lying on. She was instantly embarrassed. "I'm so sorry."

Ryan looked at her lovingly. "Don't be." He said as he shook his head and picked up the blanket. "It can be washed and no one but us need ever know."

Marissa held him to her, burying her head in his chest. He was everything that she'd ever dreamed of.

---

Sometime later they emerged from the bathroom. Marissa had tried to convince Ryan to do it again in the bath but he had resisted, assuring her that they had plenty of time but that he didn't want her to over do it and end up so sore that she'd barely be able to walk on her birthday. That would really have her guests wondering. He'd gently dried her and then led her into his bedroom where another gift was sitting on the end of his bed.

"More?" she asked as he picked it up and handed it to her.

"There all just small." He explained.

She sat on the end of the bed with only a towel wrapped around her and lifted the lid from the box and then very slowly removed the contents. Nestled in tissue paper, was a beautiful white velour bath wrap. She looked up at Ryan completely over come by her feelings for him yet again.

"I thought that you might need something to wear until Molly brings your things over tomorrow." He explained. "And then maybe you can leave it here." He shrugged shyly "For when you stay over."

The inference that she would be spending a lot more time with him, not lost on her and it was almost another gift in itself. Marissa dropped the towel and pulled on the wrap. It was soft and luxurious on her bare skin. "Molly's coming over tomorrow?" she queried.

"Only to drop off some of your things." He explained. "I couldn't very well ask you to pack a bag without spoiling the surprise. But I figured that if you were going to stay here until your party then you would need some other clothes to wear."

"Maybe I won't wear any?" Marissa suggested.

"Really?" Ryan queried. "You don't think that you'll get cold?"

"I could always wear something of yours." Marissa offered.

"I can just see you arriving at your 21st birthday party dressed in my clothes. That should go over well." He laughed.

"I'm starting to think that I don't want a party. I'd rather just stay here with you." She said pulling him towards her. He had just pulled on boxers and donned a fresh t-shirt.

"That does sound good." He said kissing her. "But I think that we should go and eat dinner now, before it's completely dried out."

"I'm not really hungry Marissa replied … except for you."

Ryan grinned. "And I keep telling you, I'm not going anywhere. But you need to keep your energy levels up. I think that you're going to need them."

---

After dinner there was no way that Ryan could stop Marissa from escorting him to his bed. Nor did he want to.

She had a new skill that she wanted to practise and he was more than happy to oblige.

What he hadn't been expecting was how adventurous she would be. He'd thought that they would be sticking purely to the missionary position for the foreseeable future but it seemed that Marissa had very different ideas. She wanted to put her library research to the test. And who was he to refuse her? After all it was her birthday weekend and she was the boss.

He had been concerned that she may have still been tender from their previous activities and he'd intended to take it very slowly again but as he'd gone to roll on top of her she had stopped him and declared that she wanted to try being on top.

He figured who was he to deny her the experience? And so he'd lain back on the bed as Marissa straddled him … grinding into him as their lips fused together until she could take no more. She'd sheathed him quickly and then had positioned herself above him and then gently lowered herself on to him. He wanted desperately to push in to her but he stayed perfectly still, not wanting to chance hurting her. At least this way she could control the rhythm.

Marissa slowly tried moving upon him, finding out what felt good and within a very short time she was riding him like a pro, her breasts bouncing as he held her hips and drove into her. This time there was no holding back as they tried to satiate their need for one another both pushing themselves to new levels until their bodies could take no more? They reached a cataclysmic orgasm within moments of one another and Marissa collapsed onto his chest completely and utterly spent.

---

Saturday morning dawned brightly but it made little difference to the two naked bodies curled tightly together in Ryan's bed. Neither wanted to move. Ryan was spooned around Marissa's back his arms holding her closely to him. They had had an interrupted night's sleep but neither would change it for the world. Twice, Ryan had woken to the feel of Marissa's hands running over him, closely followed by her lips and he quickly joined in with the exploration games that she seemed so intent on. He was amazed at her stamina but delightedly so. Lying there he couldn't help but lose himself in thoughts of the feeling of finally being able to consummate their relationship. It was better than anything that he'd ever imagined. As he laid thinking about what it was like to finally make love to her, his body started to react and he wondered if maybe this time he could be the one to wake her, when he felt Marissa move. She rolled onto her back and smiled at him.

"Hey." She offered up softly.

Ryan kissed her gently on the tip of her nose. "Hey."

"I could get used to waking up like this." She said moving in his arms until they were face to face.

"Me too." He said bringing his lips to hers and kissing her deeply.

After some time she pulled back a little and asked. "What's for breakfast?"

Ryan laughed. "I was about to say me but I get the feeling that you're looking for actual food?"

"Well I did work up quite an appetite." Marissa explained.

"Yes you did." He commented indulgently. "How about I make you some pancakes?" he suggested assuming that the other type of 'activities' would have to wait until later.

"Mmm. That's sounds good. But …" Marissa started.

"But?" Ryan questioned.

"I was thinking that perhaps we should have a shower first?" she suggested.

"When you say 'we' do you mean …?" he asked.

Marissa smiled. "I mean 'WE'." She explained. "As in 'together'." She replied.

Ryan could feel his dick spring back to attention. For a moment there he'd been thinking about pancake batter but all of a sudden things had taken quite a different turn.

Marissa smiled as she felt his arousal. "Well somebody thinks that it's a good idea." She said grasping his firmness in her hand.

"I assure you that all of me thinks that it's a good idea." Ryan replied as he removed the covers and picked Marissa up in his arms moving in to the bathroom with her.

He gently placed her on the ground and turned on the taps waiting for the water to heat up.

Once inside the shower stall, Ryan lathered his hands and slowly and gently started to run them over Marissa as he cleansed her body. She returned the favour. But the paths of both their hands were leaving trails of fire in their wake. They were staring intently into one another's eyes, the lust evident and playing a silent game to see who would crack first.

Not a word was said as Marissa moved her hands lower, wrapping one soapy hand around his erection as Ryan's fingers sought out her folds and he slipped a finger inside her.

Marissa leant back against the wall of the shower parting her legs to give him better access and pulling him towards her. Her intent was obvious as she guided his dick towards her centre.

Ryan hesitated. "I haven't got a condom."

Marissa shook her head. "Please. I'm on the pill. Just once let me feel the real you." She pleaded. "Without the rubber. I just want to know what it's like. You can pull out before the end." She suggested.

There was no way that Ryan could deny her request. He pressed his chest against hers, their slick skins supersensitive as they moved against one another and then he ran his hands down over her rear and lifted her slightly until she was at the right height and he nudged his hardness at her entry. Finding her ready, Ryan plunged into her. Marissa wrapped her legs around him holding him deep within her as her internal walls tightened their grip on him. It was all he could do not to come on the spot. She felt so good.

Marissa's head was pinned back against the wall. Her eyes were closed and he hesitated momentarily. Both because he was concerned that he was hurting her and because he needed to regain some control.

Marissa's eyes opened and she stared at him their eyes connecting at one end as their bodies connected at the other.

"I love you." She whispered, so softly that he wondered for a moment if he'd imagined it.

But it was there, written in her eyes.

"I love you too." He replied and then … very slowly … he began to move within her. But the feeling of her walls tight around him was so perfect that he knew that he would have no chance of holding on until he could satisfy her. His senses were on total overload. Nothing … had ever … felt … this good. He plunged into her again and again and he could feel the tug in his balls threatening to explode. He quickly withdrew, resting Marissa back onto the floor and grabbing at this dick at the same time as he came all over Marissa's stomach.

He looked up into eyes. "I'm sorry." He said trying to clean up and wash off the evidence of his haste.

Marissa smiled. "I guess that means that you liked it too?"

Ryan stopped what he was doing and met her eyes. "You have no idea."

"I think that I have some idea." She suggested, the flush of her excited state still evident on her cheeks.

Ryan smiled. "I guess that you do." He said. "Just give me a minute." He suggested. "And I'll see if I can help with that." He said as he slid to his knees and spread her legs wide, his tongue zeroing in on the centre of her pleasure.

---

After finishing in the shower, they dried off and then made their way back in to the bedroom. Marissa donned her new robe over her naked body and as Ryan dropped the wet towel on the floor and went to get dressed Marissa stopped him.

"Who said that you could get dressed?" she asked smiling.

Ryan turned his head to look at her, the boxers half way up his leg. "Excuse me?"

"I thought that I was the boss?" Marissa asked.

"You are." He replied.

"For the whole weekend?" she reminded him.

Ryan nodded. "So what am I supposed to do? Walk around naked?" he asked.

"Sounds good to me." Marissa replied, smiling. "But if you aren't comfortable then I guess that you can wear a towel. As long as I can get it off quickly and easily then I suppose that I can put up with it spoiling my view."

"I have no idea what was in those books that you read but you are definitely not the shy, retiring type." Ryan laughed dropping the offending boxers back down and stepping out of them. "Am I allowed to at least get a dry towel? Instead of this damp one?" he asked.

"I guess that would be okay." Marissa answered. "Actually a hand towel would be even better … then I could admire your legs." She laughed.

Ryan sighed but couldn't help but chuckle. "I think that I have created a monster." He replied heading towards the bathroom to find a clean towel.

"A hungry monster." Marissa replied. "I'll go and start on the pancakes while you find your towel." She suggested moving back in to the lounge room.

As she neared the kitchen there was a knock at the door. She pulled the robe more firmly around her making sure that her modesty was intact and opened the door only to find Molly standing there with Marissa's bag in her hand. She opened the door fully and allowed her friend to enter.

"Whoa. Look at you." Molly commented as she placed the bag down. Marissa had such a spring in her step that she looked like she was floating on air.

Marissa smiled at her friend. "What can I say? I'm in love." She said as she twirled around unaware that Ryan was coming into the room. He was fiddling with the towel that was wrapped loosely around his hips and trying to secure it and he looked up at her words only to be confronted by the shocked face of Molly.

"Holy fuck." Molly exclaimed as her eyes washed over him. He was the finest physical specimen that she'd ever laid eyes upon. And she had quite a few to compare him with. She desperately wanted the towel to fall from his hips so that she could get an even better view. Surely his dick would have to have a kink in it or something? No one was supposed to be that perfect. She'd never imagined that she would be jealous of Marissa but right at that moment she was positively green with envy. "If you two ever want a three way please let me know." She said the drool almost running from her mouth.

"Since when do you do three ways?" Marissa asked surprised.

"Since I got a look at that." Molly replied indicating Ryan with a nod of her head.

Ryan blushed at her words.

"I think that I've changed my mind." Marissa commented to Ryan. "You can put on clothes. At least until Molly has left. Then they can come back off again." She added smiling and making sure that he knew that it was only for a short time.

"I'll be back in a minute." Ryan replied as he returned Marissa's smile and quickly retreated from the room, heading off to get some clothes on.

Molly looked at Marissa incredulously. "You can just get him to do that? Put clothes on or take them off whenever you feel like it?" she asked amazed.

"Uh huh. It's my birthday weekend and I'm the boss." Marissa explained.

"Oh God. I want to be the boss of something like that." Molly said her eyes telling Marissa exactly she was talking about.

"There isn't anything else like that. He's one of a kind." She assured her friend.

"I think that you might be right. And I handed him to you on a plate." Molly commented. "I can't believe that I was so stupid. Why didn't I keep him for myself?"

Ryan walked back out this time in boxers and t-shirt and stood behind Marissa quickly wrapping her in his arms. "Because I was already taken. I was Marissa's from the moment that I laid eyes on her."

Molly smiled at the couple before her. "From the glow in this room I'd warrant that you've laid a lot more than just your eyes on her."

Marissa smiled as Ryan blushed. "You have no idea." She assured her friend.

"I think that I do have some idea." Molly replied. "I gather the New Year's resolution has been taken care of this time?" she addressed them both.

"Well and truly." Marissa replied, the grin plastered across her face, as Ryan simply said "Uh huh."

"Congratulations." Molly said grinning from ear to ear. "But obviously I'm getting in the way here so I'll make myself scarce." She said moving towards the door. "Your clothes for tomorrow night are in there plus another pair of jeans and a couple of shirts although I'm guessing from the looks of things that you probably won't be needing them."

"I doubt it." Marissa admitted. "I seem to have everything that I need. She said turning around and wrapping her arms around Ryan and making her intentions obvious.

"Hmm. Okay going now." Molly commented. "Jealous as all hell and now horny to boot. And you've even gone and gotten rid of Luke. I swear if he was here then he'd be getting lucky right about now." Molly laughed as she moved away from the door. "I'll see you two tomorrow. And don't be late. I don't want to have to tell everyone where you've been all weekend."

"Yeah. About that." Ryan said and Molly hesitated. "If we're not there … start without us."

Marissa laughed. "Yeah. It's possible that we'll be too busy to come."

"I suspect that if you're too busy, it will be because you're coming." Molly laughed.

Ryan looked at Marissa. "She could be right?"

"Definitely." Marissa agreed.

Molly shook her head. The loved up couple in front of her obviously didn't need her presence any longer. "Okay I'm so outta here."

---


	25. Chapter 25

_**A/N:** Okay so this is it for this one. I hope that you have enjoyed it. I'd just like to say a big thank you to all those that have read and taken the time to let me know that they have enjoyed it. Your comments have given me the encouragement I needed to perservere. So thanks again. Maybe after a little break I might come back and see what these 4 are up to?_

**Chapter 25**

Ryan and Marissa spent the day blissfully together. After their late, relaxed and drawn out brunch Ryan had suggested that they actually leave the confines of the apartment and go for a drive. He knew that if they stayed where they were that they would end up back in bed and he was concerned that he didn't want Marissa to over do it … if she hadn't already.

They had ended up beside the water and had spent a leisurely hour or so walking hand in hand along the water's edge, talking about all sorts of unrelated topics, from their favourite foods to who they thought would win the next presidential election and why.

Ryan couldn't ever remember feeling closer to another human being.

Marissa felt like she'd died and gone to heaven. Everything about him ... everything ... was perfect.

When the sun started its descent and Marissa shivered slightly, Ryan wrapped his arm around her pulling her close and turned around to head back to the car. Once inside he asked her "What would you like to do tonight? We could go out to dinner or I'm happy to cook for you again."

"I'd like to go home." Marissa replied and for a moment Ryan panicked as he imagined that she didn't want to stay with him any longer.

Noticing the fear in his eyes, Marissa realised the ambiguity of her words. "To your home." she explained. "I'm sorry." She said noticing the colour returning to his face. "Where ever you are … that feels like home." she admitted shyly.

Ryan's face broke into a huge smile. He took her in his arms and held her close. Words weren't necessary as they made their silent commitment to one another. He pulled back and started the car. "Then home it is."

---

When they were nearing his apartment Marissa asked. "So what's for dinner?"

Ryan laughed. "For someone your size you have a very good appetite."

"I can't help it. You've had me exercising more than I usually do." Marissa replied "and I intend to be doing more tonight as well. So I need to keep my energy levels up."

"Yes you do." He agreed. "Let's see. I have steaks at home and salad makings or I could do tacos or …" he started but was cut off.

"Tacos! Definitely. They're yummy plus they are messy to eat. If we have them then I could feed you and you could feed me and then we can clean each other up?" she suggested, the sparkle in her eyes not lost on him.

Ryan laughed. "Sounds like they should be in your 'Rude Food' book?" he said as they pulled up back at his apartment.

"Maybe they are. I'll have to check." Marissa said as they got out of the car.

As they entered the apartment again Ryan moved into the kitchen to begin the dinner preparations and Marissa stopped him. "Uh uh. You can't do that."

Ryan frowned. "What?" he said hesitating as he pulled the lettuce and tomatoes out of the fridge.

"Walk around dressed like that." Marissa pointed out. "You need to get back into your towel." She instructed him.

Ryan smiled. "How about I give you another of your gifts and maybe we can put it to good use?"

"Surely I've had them all?" Marissa asked.

"Nearly. But not quite. And I get to share in this one." He said as he opened a cupboard and pulled out another gift box.

Marissa hesitated. She felt like she already had everything that she could possibly want.

"Go on. Open it." Ryan urged.

She unwrapped the parcel and inside was a pair of matching aprons. One was black with 'HIS' boldly emblazoned on it and the other, a white apron with 'HERS' upon it. She turned and smiled at Ryan.

He shrugged. "They're for the next time we use your cook book. You did say that you threw the other aprons away." He explained. "I would have preferred the frilly see through one but I had no idea where to find it and I wasn't prepared to ask Kirsten for help with that. That would have led to way too many embarrassing questions."

Marissa knew that he was only trying to make her feel better. She was mortified when she thought back to what she'd tried to do when she had been attempting to seduce him. This was his way of telling her that it was okay. Even better than okay. "So you think that we should try that again?" she asked knowing that this gift probably meant more to her than all the others. It meant that he saw them as a pair, as a couple, with a future together.

Ryan shrugged. "I don't see why not. It was all a bit of a shock to the system last week but now that we know one another a little better …"

"A little better?" Marissa queried. "Let me assure you that no one knows me like you do."

Ryan took her in his arms. "I know." He smiled. "It's great isn't it?"

Marissa could almost feel the glow of love around them. "Yeah. It is." She replied snuggling in.

---

Sunday morning Marissa woke to an empty bed but just as she was about to get up to find out where Ryan was, he came into the bedroom carrying a tray laden with breakfast treats.

"Good morning birthday girl." He said as he put the tray on the end of the bed and handed her the single red rose that had been lying on the tray.

Marissa sniffed the delicate scent, all the while looking at Ryan, her eyes taking in everything about him. The white towel was firmly in place but it only made him even more desirable. "I don't think that I want it to be my birthday. That means that I only have one more day as boss."

Ryan laughed. "I have a funny feeling that you're likely to be the boss all the time. I certainly can't imagine being able to say no to you." "Ever." He added.

"Then how about you lose the towel and come back to bed." Marissa suggested leering at him until he burst out laughing.

But he didn't need to be asked twice. He quickly dropped the towel, but before he pulled back the covers to join her he opened the drawer of his beside table and pulled out a classic white jewellery case. He slid back under the covers and turned to Marissa. "Lucky last?" he said as he handed the case to Marissa.

Marissa looked at the Tiffany's writing embossed on the case and then looked back at Ryan. "I can't take anymore." She said simply. She was completely overwhelmed. Everything about the weekend had been perfect. He was perfect. "You've done … you've given me …" she started but she couldn't keep her emotions in check any longer and she could feel the tears as they formed in her eyes and then slowly escaped to run silently down her face.

"No." Ryan muttered. The last thing that he wanted to do was upset her. He gently wiped the tears away and said to her. "I don't want to make you sad. I never want to make you sad."

Marissa smiled. "I'm not sad. I'm so happy that I can't help but cry." She attempted to chuckle as another tear escaped. "She what sort of a loony that you've gotten yourself involved with?" her emotions were going haywire.

"You're my loony. And I intend to keep it that way." Ryan said softly kissing her. He waited until she seemed to have her emotions back in check and said. "Aren't you going to open it?"

Marissa swiped at the last few remaining tears with the back of her hand and then after first glancing at Ryan again for reassurance, she gently opened the case. Inside lay a beautiful silver chain with two fine locks on the end; one with an 'x' in it and one with an 'o'.

(For those that need a visual see here supposed to mean that all my hugs and kisses are yours. You have them under lock and key." He explained, scared that she may not have understood.

Marissa looked lovingly at him, the tears threatening to start up again. "I'm not sure that Sophie would be too happy with that idea?"

"Sophie will have to get used to it. You are the most important person in my life now." Ryan informed her clearly. "I thought about getting you a heart but I was afraid that I might scare you off. I didn't know how you felt about me?" he explained, somewhat shyly.

She was amazed that he could be insecure about her feelings towards him. "This is perfect." She said lifting it from its bed of white satin so that she could put in on. "But you could never scare me off."

Ryan helped her to fasten it around her neck. "Then maybe we should exchange it for a heart?" he suggested. He was a little surprised at himself but now that he knew that his feelings were reciprocated he wanted to tell the world.

"No. I love this." She said looking down at it now resting on her bare skin. She looked up at him "And I love you."

Ryan took her in his arms and held her close. "I love you too." He whispered still totally in awe of the feelings that he had for this girl. He'd never experienced anything like it before in his life. It was intoxicating. She was intoxicating. And he intended to cherish her forever.

---

Ryan was standing in the kitchen ironing a dress shirt to wear to the party. As he was still wrapped in just his trusty towel he was being very careful. He didn't want to let the iron slip and burn himself. Marissa was in the bathroom getting ready and he could hear her singing along to the music that was playing in the background. They had had another wonderful day. But he was coming to realise that anytime that he spent with her was wonderful, just because they were together. He smiled as he looked up when she emerged into the room and pirouetted before him.

"Will I do?" she asked.

"You look amazing." He commented as he ran his eyes over her. She had on a simple black dress that was classically cut. Her hair fell in natural waves over her shoulders and the chain that he'd given her from Tiffany's was around her neck. She had a minimal touch of makeup on but then he reasoned why would she want any more? She would only spoil her natural beauty. She looked perfect. But now that he knew her body better than his own, he knew exactly what was under every bump and curve. Over the weekend, he had memorised every freckle. And all it did was make him want her again. He didn't think that he would ever have enough of her. She was like a drug. The more he had of her, the more he wanted … no needed, he corrected himself.

Marissa smiled. "Your not biased are you?" she asked staring at his buff body. The towel was hanging low on his hips and she could see the feint trail of darker hair that ran from his belly button down towards his groin as it disappeared into the towel. The look that passed between them indicating that their passion for one another was no where near spent. Noticing something coming to life and causing a tent effect in the towel, Marissa smiled.

"Who me?" he asked as he turned off the iron, smiling as he did so. "If you just give me a few minutes then I'll be ready too."

"Ready for what?' Marissa asked as she looked lustfully at him her eyes indicating that his arousal hadn't gone unnoticed.

Ryan gulped. Maybe they wouldn't be leaving quite as soon as he expected. "Ready … to go to your party?" he queried. He had a feeling that she had something else on her mind.

"What if there's something else that I want to do first?" she asked trying to appear timid but there was an undeniable sparkle in her eye.

"Like what?" Ryan asked. He could feel his dick stiffen until it was ramrod hard from just the sparkle in her eyes. Who knew what would happen if she actually touched him?

Marissa moved to him and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him in to a deep deep kiss. Ryan's arms instantly wrapped around her, one hand around her ribs, the other dropped lower to pull her against him so that she could feel the full effect that she was having upon him.

Marissa smiled as she broke the kiss and pulled back. She unhooked her hands from behind his head and took his hand in hers guiding him to the table and tugging off his towel at the same time.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"You." She stated plainly as she took both his hands in hers and placed them on her thighs.

Ryan hesitated. "But you're all ready for your party. I don't want to crease …"

Marissa cut him off "There may be one thing that I've forgotten." she said forcing his hands to run up her thighs and under her dress until he realised that she had nothing on underneath.

"Oh God." Ryan needed no further encouragement. He lifted her on to the edge of the table and then looked around for a condom only to have Marissa pull one out that she'd had tucked into her bra.

"Looking for one of these?" she asked.

His face broke into a huge grin. "I do like a girl that comes prepared." he answered and she quickly sheathed him. Ryan moved his hand to her core and was startled at how wet she already was. He slipped first one, then two, then three fingers into her. "What have you been thinking about?" he asked.

"You." Marissa said wriggling to the edge of the table and trying to pull him closer.

Ryan took the hint and removed his fingers and zeroed in … his dick pushing inside her welcoming core.

"You do know that this could make us late?" Ryan asked while he still had an ounce of control. He could stop if she wanted him to. But he wouldn't be able to for too much longer.

"I'm sure that they'll never even notice." Marissa said pertly "But if you pull out now then I will." She added pouting. "And I am the boss."

"True." Ryan said as he pulled back slightly only to thrust back into her. "And we can't upset the boss." He replied as he began to repeat his efforts … over and over. Each thrust moving them closer and closer to their desired goal.

---

Quite some time later the two arrived at the party. As they walked in the door they were instantly greeted by Molly.

"Finally. I was starting to worry that you weren't going to come at all." She exclaimed.

Marissa and Ryan both looked at one another and burst out laughing and Marissa replied. "I can assure that was never going to happen." She leant in to her friend and whispered. "That's about all we've been doing all weekend."

Molly looked puzzled and then the penny dropped. "Coming?" she queried, trying to look bored.

Marissa nodded.

"It's sort of obvious. You have this post-coital glow surrounding the pair of you." She teased but the other two didn't even seem to notice, too lost in one another to care. "But you do have other people here so maybe Ryan should go and get you a drink while you greet your guests." Molly suggested.

Marissa didn't like that idea at all but she realised that she had little choice. She glanced at Ryan who simply asked. "What would you like?"

"You." Marissa stated and Ryan smiled.

"I meant to drink." He explained more clearly.

"Oh." She said innocently. "A white wine would be great."

He leant in and kissed her thoroughly … until she was weak in the knees … before moving off to the kitchen. He knew that it wouldn't go unnoticed to the surrounding group but it was deliberate. He didn't know all the people there and he wanted to make sure that everyone was aware that she was well and truly taken. It had been a long time since Ryan had felt proprietorial about a girl but he had no intention of sharing this one … ever.

Marissa giggled. Ryan's intentions were blatantly obvious to her and she couldn't have been happier. She watched him move off in the direction of Luke who was standing in the kitchen obviously playing barman and she waved towards him. Luke waved back and then she turned to give Molly and the rest of her guests her attention but as she did so she looked more closely at Molly. "Have you really been worried that we wouldn't turn up?" Marissa asked. Her friend was flushed and seemed over-animated. Perhaps she'd started drinking earlier than all the rest.

"No. I knew that you'd make it sooner or later." Molly explained.

"Then why are you so flushed?" Marissa asked.

"You're not the only one who had fun on your birthday." Molly replied.

---

After his little performance in front of everyone, Ryan knew to expect a ragging from Luke and as he walked up to him, Luke was grinning from ear to ear. "What?" Ryan asked.

"What what?" Luke returned.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Ryan asked taking a clean wine glass and filling it for Marissa.

"Like what?" Luke replied.

"With the big grin on your face." Ryan pointed out. "Surely I'm allowed to kiss my girlfriend?'

Luke laughed. "Girlfriend? I thought that you didn't do 'girlfriends'?" Luke questioned.

"A lot has changed my friend." Ryan admitted.

"A lot indeed." Luke agreed. "And it's all thanks to you."

Ryan looked at him puzzled. Luke seemed just a little too happy with himself. He needed to find out more. "Hold that thought. I just have to give this to Marissa." He said as he moved across the room to stand beside her as she spoke with some others. Handing her the glass he moved his mouth towards her ear as if he wanted to whisper something to her but all he did was bring his lips to the sensitive spot just below her ear lobe sucking the flesh into his mouth. Fairly certain that he had left a mark he pulled back and smiled at her. "Have fun." He said meeting her grin and then he returned to Luke standing in the kitchen.

"Okay. So where were we? Are we talking about the same thing?" Ryan asked.

"I don't think so." Luke admitted looking smug. It made a change for him not to be the one that didn't know exactly what was going on and he intended to make the most of it.

"Okay. So spill." Ryan stated.

"I owe you." Luke admitted. "Big time. I mean BIG BIG TIME!" he stressed.

Ryan frowned. He had no idea what Luke was talking about. "What for?" he asked.

Luke leaned in conspiratorially and said "You know that Molly was collecting me from the airport?"

"Yeah." Ryan replied.

"Well. It seems that she was a little jealous of a loved up couple that she'd come in contact with yesterday and she was feeling a little horny. Actually I think that we could say she was a LOT horny. And guess who was the lucky recipient of her need?" Luke laughed.

"Really?" Ryan commented only a little surprised. He knew that Molly liked Luke. Marissa had told him. But she'd also told him that Molly was holding out because of Luke's reputation. She didn't want to be just another one night stand. Plus she enjoyed playing hard to get and watching him try every trick in the book to try to gain her interest.

"Man. I may have to hang up my available status as well if I can get that every night." Luke admitted. "She was amazing."

"I know about amazing." Ryan said his eyes never leaving Marissa as she moved around the room greeting her friends. Every so often she would glance up at Ryan and their eyes would meet reconfirming the fact that they would be happy if they were the only two people in the room. Each time they did so, she would hold the kisses and hugs charms that hung on her chain, in her fingers, as if holding them could bring her closer to Ryan. He smiled indulgently at her, her actions bringing them together even though they were on opposite sides of the room.

"Who knew that girls like this existed?" Luke asked his best friend as he followed Molly's progress around the room.

"Who knew that libraries were such a font of information?" Ryan replied, all the while watching Marissa.

"What?" Luke said looking at Ryan, completely baffled by his last statement. For a moment there he had thought that they were on the same page.

"Libraries. We are going to have to go to the library a whole lot more." Ryan stressed.

"You've completely lost me." Luke admitted. "I know that you can go off into your own little brainiac world sometimes and have these conversations that I'm not up with but how the hell did we get from sex to libraries?"

"Does Kama Sutra mean nothing to you?" Ryan asked.

"Kama Sutra?" Luke's eyes bulged.

"Yeah. It's a book." Ryan stated the obvious. "And it's in our very own college library. I swear that some of the stuff that Marissa wants to do …" he shook his head disbelievingly. "I'm not even sure if it's possible. But she assures me that it's supposed to be."

"Is that where they get it from?" Luke asked rhetorically. "No wonder Molly could ..."

Ryan cut him off quickly. "I don't need details thanks all the same. But I think that it's safe to say that we have things to learn."

"And I am a very poor pupil." Luke admitted smiling from ear to ear. "I have to do things over and over again before it sticks. It's going to take me a long time …" he started and then grinned even more. "Actually if she does what she did to me before … then it doesn't take me long at all."

"Again. Too much information." Ryan replied. "Keep the details to yourself."

Luke chuckled. "So is there anywhere at our place that I should avoid?" Luke asked.

Ryan rolled his eyes at Luke and then looked back to follow Marissa as she moved about the room. "We cleaned up after ourselves." He explained.

Luke nodded watching Molly again. "I never thought that I'd be so happy to be sharing with a clean freak."

---

As the door closed on the last guest a tired but happy Marissa moved into Ryan's arms "Hey birthday girl. Big Day?" he asked.

Marissa glanced at the clock and noticing that it was way past midnight she replied. "I'm not the birthday girl anymore. Not until next year. Now I'm just the tired girl." She admitted.

"You go on in to bed. We'll just finish cleaning up here …" Ryan started only to be cut off by Molly.

"The both of you should go to bed. You look like you are out on your feet. I suspect that neither of you have had too much sleep lately?" she chuckled at the sheepish looks that she was greeted with. "Luke and I will finish up."

"We will?" Luke asked surprised.

"If you want a repeat performance of earlier then yeah ... we will." Molly stated.

"Can't wait." Luke replied picking up a tea towel off the kitchen bench. "I was born to clean." He added, smiling from ear to ear.

Ryan almost gagged at the comment and Marissa couldn't help but laugh. They had had to close the door to Luke's room; scared that there may have been rodents' living in there it was such a mess. But obviously he just needed the right form of encouragement to get him to clean up. "Okay. Thanks you two. I will sleep better with my teddy bear beside me." Marissa said cuddling in to Ryan.

Molly smiled indulgently at the two and then remembered that she still hadn't given Marissa her gift. "Before you go ..." she halted the couple and they both stopped and turned to her. "I haven't given you my present."

Marissa looked at her friend. "I don't need a present. The party was more than enough."

"Well as it turned out I had a lot of help with the party thanks to Ryan. And I did have something else for you but after seeing the two of you together yesterday I took it back and exchanged it and got this instead." She handed Marissa an envelope.

Marissa opened it and brought out an airline ticket. Recognizing the destination she looked at Molly puzzled and said "You bought me a plane ticket to go home with you?"

"No I bought me a plane ticket home for next weekend so you'll be all on your lonesome. I thought that Ryan might like to stay over and keep you company." Molly explained.

Marissa looked to Ryan smiling and she was met with his smile as the full meaning of Molly's words made sense.

"I'd love to. Thank you." Ryan said to Molly. He felt like he was the one getting given a gift; the thought of being able to spend another weekend solely with Marissa was better than anything else that he could imagine.

"My pleasure." She replied and as she watched the blissful expression on her best friend's face she knew that she'd done the right thing.

"I suspect that it will be THEIR pleasure." Luke commented.

The others all laughed.

Marissa looked at Molly. "Thank you. That's the best present that you could have given me." she said feeling humbled that Molly had known yesterday just how special Ryan was to Marissa and how much she loved spending time with him.

Molly shrugged. "Just remember to ask me to be a bridesmaid." She replied.

Ryan wrapped his arm around Marissa. The thought of her as a bride no where near as scary as what he would have once imagined, in fact it definitely held some appeal.

Marissa looked deeply into his eyes. The promise of a future together clear upon both their faces.

"Well … I think that it's a sucky present." Luke commented breaking the beautiful moment. "What's going to happen to me if you're away for the weekend and they're both joined at the hip?"

"Play your cards right this week and I could have you so shagged out by the end of the week that you'll need a break just to recover." Molly replied.

Luke nodded his head, the grin taking over his face. "That's what I'm talking about." He said as Ryan and Marissa laughed and headed towards her room only to be stopped by Luke's next words "Hey Chino?"

Ryan turned and waited for what was to come.

"I meant to warn you that you should expect a call from Seth sometime real soon."

"Why?" Ryan asked.

"He called me earlier because he hadn't been able to get on to you all weekend. Apparently your phone's been off." Luke explained.

"Yeah? Well that's because I didn't want to be disturbed." Ryan admitted.

"I told him that. … Explained that you'd been getting busy." Luke teased. "Actually he seemed relieved to hear it." Luke added puzzled, as he thought back to Seth's comments. "Although why he would be concerned about your love life, I have no idea."

Ryan frowned. He knew exactly why Seth would have been relieved. At least now he could put all the STD doubts to rest but he also knew that, thanks to Luke's big mouth that he would have to put up with Seth's ribbing. "Is that it?" he asked keen to get back to heading off to bed with Marissa.

"No." Luke stated clearly. "If he tries to bribe you with anything then tell him to rack off. I was there first."

"What?" Ryan asked completely perplexed by Luke's words.

"He's trying to claim that he's your brother and so he gets dibs on being best man but I pointed out that he's not really your brother and anyhow I was there when you two first met. So if anyone gets to be best man then it should be me. You're going to have to choose."

Ryan looked at Marissa and wrapped her in his arms. "I already have."

---


End file.
